Memories of Mom

     Since posting Mom's obituary on the the blog, I have been purposely silent.  Life has continued.  Zach attended a football banquet and a school dance.  I will post more on that later, but to go on with life, while necessary, seems to diminish the honor owed to Mom.

     I knew that at some point I would come back to this and post my memories.  I am sure there will be more to come, but I want to start now with what comes to mind. I cannot remember specific stories.  I know they will come, but I do remember these things about my mom.
     Mom had the following rules about naming children.

• You don't name children after anyone.  If the person you would have named them after is a disaster, then your child doesn't have to live that down.  If the person is amazing, your child doesn't have the pressure to live up to that name. It saves a lot of confusion too.
• You do not use names where the child's initials spell anything.
• You name the child whatever you plan to call them.  Mom was strongly opposed to nicknames or using a middle name instead of a first name because every school year, it had to be clarified with every teacher.

     Mom could match anything. If you needed to find the right color pants or skirt to match a blouse, she could do it on memory. She did not have to have the blouse or a swatch of fabric with her.
    Mom's mind was full of trivial facts.  You could rarely beat her at Trivial Pursuit.  She also had a wealth of useful information.  She was our go-to person for just about anything and especially anything medical.


Mom and me -1971



    Mom was the youngest of three children and had very little experience with children when she became a mom herself.  I have always been amazed that she went on to have six more children and was always good at figuring out the mind of a child.  She could really put herself in the shoes of children and resolve their issues.

    Online shopping was a great blessing for Mom.  She hated actually going to a store or the mall.  She was always generous with all of us for birthdays and Christmases.

     Of course she wasn't perfect, she was a great procrastinator.  Some things never got done.  I asked everyone in the family to write Zach a letter for his 13th birthday.  Mom never did.  I guess I am grateful now because none of the other kids have reached that milestone, and it would have been hard for them to not have a letter like Zach's.



          Dad left the country to fight in Vietnam and never wanted to leave again.  He says, "I left this country once, and they tried to kill me.  I am not leaving again."  This didn't stop Mom.  She traveled with Jonathan to a soccer tournament in England.  Tara and I went along.  She traveled with us to China for Julia.  She also went with friends all over Europe and to Japan. 

     Mom was also a pretty good judge of character.  She had a knack for knowing when you should be watching your back with someone. 
     Mom was a jealous mom. I did not and do not dare refer to or call my mother-in-law "mom." It would hurt my mom's feelings. Now that I am a mother, I totally get that.    
     She was our biggest cheerleader in adoption.  She offered full support and no criticism.  She loved her grandchildren and was most disappointed when I had a miscarriage while waiting for Wyatt.

     The family has enjoyed going through old pictures over the last few days.  Danielle has worked tirelessly on a CD for the funeral home.  I think it is good to have several days to prepare for the visitation and funeral.  I am struggling with things that cannot be shared on the blog...most having to do with the fact that I was with Mom when she died.  Her suffering was awful.  I fear it will haunt me for the rest of my life.  Tiffany and Jonathan are beating themselves up for not being there.  I can't say which is worse.

Vegas 1994

Mom and her friends biked down a volcano in Hawaii

another favorite of mine - Dad is opening a Christmas gift from Andy and me - a fart machine, You have to know my dad to truly appreciate this.

Mom with her sister, brother and mom -aka Grandma by the Lake

I am grateful for so many pictures and great memories.  My sisters have really been trigger happy with the pictures. It may be the longest slideshow for a life of a non-famous person ever done.