Momma said there'd be days like this...or so the song says

I awoke to a busy day today.  The summer study that I do with parents and teachers from the school where I am employed started, and it is wonderful.  Julia was to have swim and dive practice, but storms cancelled all of that.  Wyatt and Julia had an early afternoon eye appointment, and Savannah had plans to have 7-20 peers come over for a water balloon/ water gun fight and to hang out for the evening, so there was prep to be done for that.  Here's how the day really went.

Zach woke me at 7:45 to drive him to work because his car was towed last night, so we are down a car.

After dropping him off, I ordered the kids to take care of some last minute cleaning/details and got myself ready to go to my study which was wonderful.  However, I got various texts about who was and wasn't helping at home all morning long.

After the study I ran some things by work and checked on some loose ends there.

I then raced home to take Wyatt and Julia to their eye appointments. I reminded Wyatt to bring his glasses, but he broke them this morning.  Yes, he did --irreparably.  During the appointment the kids were initially separated, but once they were together the fighting began.  It started over who broke the dishwasher.  Just about the time I decided that I would never schedule their appointments on the same day and at the same time again, I went to pay for Julia's contacts and told them to go look at glasses for Wyatt.  By the time I wrote the check for the contacts, Wyatt had picked out his glasses.  Angels sang a hallelujah  chorus, and I decided that I might actually take them for an appointment together again.  Julia helped pick out the glasses, and I know Wyatt would not have accomplished that without her.  Reality returned when Julia observed that everyone has one nostril bigger than the other while I was trying to place the order for Wyatt's glasses.  Really?

I ran home.  It was close to 3:00 at this time, so I tried to inhale some lunch in time for the call from Zach indicating that he needed to be picked up from work.  I did that and ran an errand followed by running Zach on an errand.

I was home just long enough to confirm that our lemon of a dishwasher that has been a thorn in my side since it was purchased some six years ago is definitely broken.  Nice.

Did I mention that I have my own car repair scheduled for tomorrow morning?  Yes, we are down two vehicles with a crazy day ahead tomorrow too.

But...I can be thankful.  I can be thankful because Wyatt's glasses broke on the very day that we were getting them replaced anyway.

I can be thankful that my car repair was caught before a tow was necessary.

I can be thankful that, even though we don't need the expense right now, I can hopefully find a dishwasher that will do its job and last a while.  We decided months ago that we have repaired that dishwasher for the last time, so this was not unexpected.

I can be thankful that right now my daughter and several of her friends are playing a game around my dining room table, and there is laughter in my house.

The rest of the story is that tonight I stood in a long line at a funeral home to hug a lady I have known for almost two decades.  She will bury her son tomorrow, and if you could, please do me a favor. Please set an alarm on your phone for 10:50 a.m. tomorrow and pray for her.  After losing her son on Saturday night, she did not want today to come, and she does not want tomorrow to come either, but she is counting on our faithful God to carry her through, and prayer is a powerful way to help her be lifted before that throne during these most heartbreaking and difficult days of her life.  Perspective.

Can we just remember that we are all human?

Many years go when we were on vacation, Zach slipped out of our cabin. Nobody saw this.  In fact, many of the adults awoke that morning to discover him missing. He was only able to get his two-year-old self out because one of the adults left early to go fishing and could not lock the door from the outside. By the time we realized he was missing, the maintenance crew was headed our way with him. He had been playing on the stairs leading into the shallow end of the pool.  These were not particularly wide stairs, just normal pool stairs.  He could not swim and was wearing a diaper.

Our cabin backed up to a pond known to house alligators and was surrounded by woods known to house rattlesnakes.  The outcome could have been very different. To this day we have an image of a pool in a shadow box as one of the markers/memorial stones reminding us of what God has done for us.

I share this because so many are so quick to post comments on social media blaming parents for accidents.  Accidents happen even with vigilant parents.  Guess what - I suspect these parents are already putting themselves through what the finger pointers want them to experience.  They don't need that.

I can say one thing for sure.  If our outcome had been different, our family would be totally different. I am quite certain I would not have had the confidence to adopt, and Savannah would have grown up with helicopter parents (at least one) who probably would have destroyed her in our attempts to protect her.

Let's have some compassion.  Nobody is perfect, and we do not live in a perfect world.  I would venture to say that the recent accidents that have made national news did not happen to negligent parents.

Can I just add that the fact that Zach and I survived his childhood is miraculous?  He has been a night owl since birth.  As a pre-schooler he outlasted me on many nights.  I had to get up and work the next day and could not stay up past 10 or 11, and Andy was working nights.   I asked his doctor for help with this and was told that if he was prone to that sleeping schedule, nothing short of a brick could change it.  I awoke one morning to find my front door standing wide open.  I think the only reason Zach did not venture out into the night was because he was afraid of the dark - praise God for that fear!  One morning I could not find him anywhere.  I knew he was in the house because the deadbolts were all still locked.  I finally located him curled up behind a stuffed chair in the living room.  There, but for the grace of God, go I.

A luau

She's watched her big sister celebrate her birthday and graduation.  Then she attended her cousin's graduation on her own birthday.  Several family members could not gather the day after Austin's graduation, so we put off her party for an extra week.  In Julia style, she wanted something special, so she opted for a luau and greeted the guests with leis.

Our one mistake was failing to get a friend who is like the local cake boss to make the cake.  Sam's did a good job but forgot the beach chair pictured in their book, and I wish I had chosen a bright color for the writing.

possibly my favorite picture of the day

It was hot here, so we opted for a water balloon fight.

We tried to end the night around the fire pit, but pop up storms kept putting out our fire.

It was not lost on me yesterday that this is the last year I will have a child younger than a teenager.  Julia always wants a friend party, but we have always only done those every other year- ending them in the last year or two of elementary school.  She gets another party at 13 and at 16, but I think it's plenty fun to have a big family party, and we do that every year.  I never had friend or family parties that I can remember growing up, and I think I had a pretty great childhood.

Orlando

I am in a waiting room of sorts right now. Actually, it is a very nice and welcoming living room, and one of my children is meeting with a tutor at a kitchen table.  While I wait, I read a bit and answer study questions. Like every other American, I have spent the last 24 hours trying to process a horrific terrorist attack. At times like this, I have to press pause on checking social media. I cannot bear the opinions that come while I am still processing the hurt.

I awoke yesterday to a busy day and a vague news report about 20 people being killed in an Orlando nightclub. I was out of church before learning that casualty number had more than doubled. I spent an uneasy morning in worship. No public place seems safe. I came home to the last minutes details that go into celebrating a birthday. Yet, I knew that many moms were looking for answers, dying to turn back time, and for them, the idea that life goes on for the rest of us is appalling. "Stop all the clocks. Stop the dog from barking," The poet  W.H. Auden stated in a poem that describes grief very well.

This came after facing the hard reality that the world is cruel.  I watched a 48 Hours episode on Saturday night that scared me.  We've all seen the outcry over the Brock Turner case, and in that 48 Hours episode, there were no heroic Swedes stepping in to save young women from a predator who abused them and then took their lives. No one stepped in even when witnesses confirmed that they knew this guy was up to no good.  We mind our own business too much.  I can't point the finger.  I likely would have been guilty too.  I have had hard conversations with my kids - reminding them that nobody can be proud of anything they did while drunk and that mere minutes of bad judgement or criminal behavior can ruin multiple lives.  I have worried over my daughter heading to a big college campus next year.

Even in the horror though, life does continue, and you can't stop a child's party for something that happened many miles away to strangers.  So we grieve with and for the hurting victims; for the pain that won't end; for the PTSD that will haunt them; for the officers and chaplains who have seen the real horror and then had to go and tell moms, dads, friends, and siblings that the one they loved won't be coming home.  We grieve for those who continue to wait and look for the ones they love while knowing the truth deep within themselves. We remember.  There is a time to grieve, so we grieve.

We go on with life, with the celebration, because we are Christians and Americans.  To identify with both is to identify with bravery and freedom.  In the end God wins, and we cling to that sure thing even as hope dims.

In my opinion nobody has handled this painful attack on our nation better than Dr. Russel Moore.  You can find his words here:

http://www.russellmoore.com/2016/06/12/orlando-can-still-weep-together/

Narcy is going to live

Savannah's car will be repaired.  The body shop worked to find a better deal on the parts to bring the price down so that the insurance would pay.

Woohoo!!! Now, how long?

Update Post Script

Another trip to the body shop today revealed some possibly bad news.  By state law Savannah's car may have to be declared a total loss.  Grr.

So when life keeps smacking you around, pray a lot, and play a little. Savannah, Wyatt and I finally made good on using our zoo pass which I purchased over a month ago because they have new penguins.  We checked them out, and the bears were very active and fun, and so were the gorillas.

The beauty of a pass is that it pays for itself in two or three visits, but we will go way more often than that because I don't feel like I have to see the whole zoo every time I go which means if I only have an hour, it's worth the trip.

Update

Dad has been released from the hospital. Your prayers are appreciated.

In other news the ball is rolling on getting Savannah's car fixed. It may take a couple of weeks, but she will get her freedom back sometime this summer.

Congratulations, Austin!

My nephew graduated from high school yesterday!  He had over 300 students in his class, and it was the fastest graduation I have ever attended... just over one hour.  There were two speeches that were about 3 minutes each.  The principal said that he would like to tell everyone to be quiet, but he knows that does not work, so he told everyone to just go ahead and celebrate, and people didn't carry on like their graduate just won a national championship in some sport.  We did have some great people watching though.  Some of the graduates got up and moved during the ceremony to sit with and talk to friends. People walked over and talked to their graduates and snapped pictures.  People chatted through the whole thing.  It was interesting, but it was okay too.  They made sure every name was heard.  

the two graduates

the original four cousins in birth order

trying to get a smile...if it's going to happen, Jonathan can do it

I am not. I repeat- I am not shorter than Savannah.  Her heels are higher, and we were standing on a ramp.  

proud momma

How do you get a smile from this guy?  You tell him that you will not stop taking pictures until he smiles, and you keep snapping.

Hanging out after graduation at a great, local seafood restaurant.  It's a must if you are ever visiting our town.  It's only open in the summer. 

In spite of Dad's trip to the hospital, I think we had an enjoyable day and honored Austin appropriately.  The truth is, he did not want to participate in his graduation.  His mom made him, and he stayed up until 5:00a.m. the night before.  Teenage boys - shaking my head.

His brother graduates from the same school next year ---looking forward to more people watching, and Tiffany is taking a cow bell.  Wow, just wow!

Happy Birthday, Julia!

Julia turned twelve today.  In honor of her birthday, I will share some fun facts about this girl.

• She gives her all to whatever she pursues- whether sports, academics, or the arts.
• In her spare time, she uses an app to design houses and loves virtually exploring houses on the market.  I could add that she also spends a lot of time watching gymnastics videos. She will love the upcoming Olympics, and she spends more time than I care to admit watching the train wreck that is Dance Moms, and she believes it is real.
• If you take her shopping, you will spend more time and money than you intend.
• Her laugh is totally contagious.
• Julia has no filter and keeps few secrets, so be careful what you tell her.

How she spent her birthday:

Julia started the day with swim practice, followed by dive practice.  She returned home briefly before her tumbling class.  She left her tumbling class a tad early to see her cousin graduate from high school, more to come on that, but that is another post.

Julia has learned to braid her hair, and does all kinds of fun stuff with it.

After the graduation and dinner out with the family, Julia enjoyed her favorite dessert (fudge) and opened her gift from the family.  We could not gather the whole family because of the graduation, so we plan to do that next week.  Our original plan was just to celebrate a day late, but several family members could not make it.  As it turns out, that's a good thing because my dad is back in the hospital.  He was admitted just prior to Austin's graduation and will likely spend a few days there.  There are better ways to pick up women, but I have not convinced him of that yet - joking aside, he could really use some prayers.  It seems we are right back where we started six weeks ago.  I sure hope that his health improves and that he does not have another heart attack.

After our mini-celebration at home, we went shopping.  I am determined to find a pair of comfortable and affordable Chacos.  My grandma always said, "you can buy cheap clothes, but whatever you do, buy good shoes."  She had lifelong problems with her feet and was always, always trying to find a shoe that did not hurt her. She blamed her issues on growing up in the depression and buying shoes that were too big and wearing them until they were too small.  My feet always hurt, and I really don't like wearing tennis shoes all summer.  I found comfortable Chacos, but the price tag is daunting, so I am trying a cheaper pair.  If they don't work, I will bite the bullet and get the more expensive pair because I know that they will last, and I will get every penny out of them.  Our shopping trip did not turn up the shoes, but Julia had fun looking at adult coloring books and wallets - two things still on her wish list.

She was very happy with her new purse and the Wallflower from Bath and Body Works for her room.  Julia is a boho girl who should have been 12 in 1975.  Her style is all 70's.  The only purse she would have liked more than the one she got would be one with fringe, lots of fringe.  Julia has been eying purses for months, and she found this great little purse at TJ Maxx.  You know how it is at TJ Maxx, you have to buy what you want on the spot because it won't likely be there when you return, so we had a conversation about it.  I asked if I could just get that for her and wrap it up and give it to her on her birthday.  Julia did not like that plan.  She said that she likes to be surprised unless she snoops and finds her gifts - she's done that many times.  So, I returned to TJ Maxx the next day when I was on a crazy, tight schedule to get things done and purchased the purse.

We chose the Wallflower because we are a candle loving family, but there are rules about candles.  When my candles started disappearing, and I found one in Julia's room, I decided she needed a safer option to scent her room.  Not even my adult children get to burn candles in their rooms.  Julia liked both gifts and thanked us again and again for them and for taking her on a little shopping outing -where we only purchased fun stuff like toothpaste. True story.

He was there every day!

There was an attendance error, so Wyatt was not recognized during the middle school award ceremony, but he had perfect attendance.  Way to go, Wyatt!!

This just in

 I have a friend who clearly knows her way around a camera better than I, and she clearly knows how to find the best seat in the house.  photo creds to Tammy