March Madness - March in review

March roared in like a lion here.  Tornados started the month followed shortly by snow.  Throughout the month, it has been unseasonably warm, but we have had a few, brutal hail storms.  Savannah and I got caught in one and and to pull off the road and wait it out.  The dings on the van are evidence of that adventure.

We saw suffering outside of the tornados when I visited three funeral homes in four days.  Our friends are losing parents.  We've been there, and it is tough.  Unfortunately, our children's friends are losing parents too.  On Julia's small school campus, three of the 28 second graders have lost a parent within the last two year.s Our hardest visit that weekend was visiting with Savannah's friend E whose mom died suddenly.  K adopted E and her younger sister from China as a single mom.  She married several years ago.  K and I once stayed up talking all night in my kitchen.  She had the greatest laugh and beautiful faith.  E is a strong girl, and she will be fine, but how awful is it to lose your mom before you even start high school?

We live in basketball country, so we end March excited for a big final four game today.  I don't really follow basketball, but I have to say that it is fun to take your mind off of the concerns of life, our country, and politics for a while.

This month brought adoption to the forefront of my mind as we know two families who traveled to China for their children this month, and I have followed the blog of another family who is there now.

On Thursday, we went to the airport to greet Piper Joy and her family.  What a precious time!  

Andy spent a week out of town.  I can't express my thanks enough for the friends who got my kids to and from school and activities.  Wouldn't you know that the only week he has to travel this year would be the only week where my job demanded that I be in meetings after school every day that he was gone?

The kids kept us running.  Who knew so many people were born in March?  Wyatt and Julia have been to birthday parties almost every weekend.  Savannah decided to leave AHG, and contrary to her nature, she will reluctantly help with an event tomorrow and then leave the troop without finishing the year.  It has been very hard for her to keep up with the demands of middle school and field hockey, and it has not helped that I left my role in leadership.  It is very hard to stay on top of troop happenings without an involved parent.  As much as the troop needs the help, I am learning to say "no" to these type of things to say "yes" to my family.  My women's Bible study is next to go.  Much as I love it, Tuesday will be my last night. I do hope to stay in contact with my group from this semester.  I have had a blast with them.  I plan to commit to being home in the evenings for the next two years as we prepare to launch our oldest child into adulthood.

Zach left for Chicago with the school band this week and returns late tonight.  We have not heard from him (no surprise there as the schedule was packed).  Hopefully, he had a fantastic time.

As for me, I cannot seem to catch up.  The house is a mess.  I am late on every school deadline.  I blame it on life being very different with a new job and without Mom, but maybe the reality is that I am just old (did I really just admit that?) and struggling to juggle the schedules of four children along with a full-time job.  

It appears that March will stay true to the saying and leave us like a lamb.  It is a cool but pretty day.  It's almost time to cheer on our team!  

and the Joy Dare continued through the month:

11. God has my back even when the electric bill comes in $100 more than expected (3/5)

17. 100% on a tough research paper for Savannah (3/8)

23. thought provoking lesson on pursuing holiness (3/11)

35. beautiful, whimsical, fun daisies adorn my kitchen counter (3/13)

36. a gem of wisdom from Beth Moore - God is always for me even when I am not for myself. (3/13)

37. another gem from Beth Moore -God loves ambitious prayers and some of His most amazing works are the times when He gets us out of the messes we create.

40.  beautiful day, brought out the flip flops (3/14)

45. Today's treasure in my Bible study:  Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord.  Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy.  Habakkuk 3:2 (3/15)

90. great conversation through text messages with my dear friend and travelmate, Allie 

Do you know anyone considering adopting an older child? My two cents.

We were recently approached by our adoption agency to answer some questions about adopting older children.  I will not go through every question and post it here, but I will share most of what I said when asked for the bottom line.  They are compiling these answers for families considering adopting older children.

 What would you tell a family considering this path – what do you wish you had known or better prepared for?  What is the single most important thing you would want to tell a family about adopting an older child?

I always tell families to expect adoption to be a challenge.  Your child will likely appreciate your efforts on their behalf.  However, they are not going to come home thanking you for taking them from the only culture and the only people they have ever known.  Some of their behavior will shock and embarrass you (like the time Wyatt ran his hand along the butt of a customer in a grocery store).  

There will be surprises, some good, some not so good.  

You have to be a team.  Both parents have to be ready and willing to accept the challenge.

Your child will likely lie and will likely exhibit behavior that you have never allowed in your home.  You have to pick your battles and try to think the way your child would think remembering they have a different history than your other children.  Sometimes the situation calls for more grace than discipline, and at least one parent needs to realize that, and the other parent needs to be willing to hear that. 

Prepare your other children.  We made it very clear to our other children that we were walking into the unknown and that this child could be destructive. Your other children may want to put things that are particularly special to them in a safe place temporarily.  While this was not much of an issue with Wyatt, it does happen with older kids.  We warned our kids that things may not be smooth for a while.  It takes time to feel like you are part of a family.  

Talk to other parents who have done this.  Join the yahoo groups.  If you have examples of what other families have experienced, think through your plan to handle those things.

One other thing that may come up for your children is racial slurs.  Teach your children how to handle them.  A hateful Asian joke was recently shared with my daughter at school, and she simply stated, "do you realize that I have two Asian siblings?"  The jokester got the point, and she did not have to be overly confrontational or nasty.

Saying no is necessary.  Do not give in to everything your child wants. Be reasonable.

Food is the way to an orphan's heart. Pick up some favorite snacks while in the country and make sure to keep snacks available at all times.  If you have a market where you can get food from the original country, go often.

Put pictures of your new child up around your home as soon as possible.  Our son was very anxious for us to have his pictures in frames along with our other kids.

Have a sense of humor.  You will need it.

This is not for everyone.  Even if you get the fairy tale, do not pressure other families to follow your lead.  If they need encouragement, give it, but do not try and push adoption on anyone who is not open to it.  We have consciously decided that our adopted and biological children are simply our children.  We do not make them poster children for adoption.

You have to be laid back.  If you try to control everything, you will set yourself up for failure.  

It is worth it.  I catch my breath over the simplest of things.  A trip to play miniature golf or to a museum or a walk through the neighborhood with the dog, wearing a favorite t-shirt until Mom has to beg you to let her wash it may be things my kids would have missed in an orphanage.  Even school may not have been available.  In exchange, I get to watch them grow and develop, build meaningful relationships, get lots of hugs, and tons of joy.  I would absolutely do it again.  My entire extended family has fallen in love with our adopted children.  It has opened their eyes and desires to adoption.

Is administration in her future?

Julia won a contest at a school reading night and got to be Assistant Principal for an hour.  She made announcements, answered the phone, and loved every minute of it. Hmm, a future career possibility?

Flashback Friday

One of my all-time faves

They Surrender

We visited the zoo today, and I made one more attempt to get a good shot of the kids all together.  

In one shot, I got this.  Was this so hard?  

This guy was happy to pose and smile for me.

the trouble of trying to get a good picture

Julia's orphanage group is hosting a reunion this summer.  We cannot go due to lack of funds and a scheduling conflict, but they still want pictures of the families who cannot attend for a photo book to be sent to the orphanage.  As I searched through our pictures to pick four or five good ones, I realized that Savannah has changed quite a bit since everyone was last in a picture together last summer.  To remedy this, I decided to take a picture.  Now you see what I have to go through.  Every take is posted here.  Between wandering dogs and stuff in the background, and my least cooperative subject (ZACH!), I thought I would have to just give up.

and the last one wins
This is why I pay people for this stuff.  Really!

Flashback Friday

First vacation, traumatized by the long van ride.  We appeased her with videos , and someone had to keep a hand on her carseat.

Not much has changed, eh?
Actually of all my kids, I see the most change over time in appearance in Julia.

Starry Night -Wyatt style

Wyatt does not like to color, but he can draw for hours on end.  Usually he draws Mario, but today he tackled Starry Night, and I think he did quite well.

Flashback Friday

One of my favorite pictures of Wyatt taken before we met him

Shortly after he got home -still in Ultra-Man mode

Cowboy/Cowgirl Day

Julia had Cowboy/Cowgirl day at school today.  This means they walk to a nearby horse stable and visit the horses, eat beans and campfire food, and dress like cowboys and cowgirls.

I'm really liking her art.  Hmmm, Does Savannah have some competition here?

Tornadoes, Snow, and some talent in between

On Friday night we were scheduled to watch a talent show which is also a fundraiser for Julia's school.  After a sneak peek at the last few acts during Thursday's dress rehearsal, I was pumped for the show.  However, our plans were derailed by weather.  Tornadoes ripped through our region claiming lives, homes, businesses, and causing so much pain and despair. Because Andy and I both had Friday off, we joined Julia for lunch and were urged by the second grade teachers to go ahead and take her home before the onslaught of storms.  We heeded their advice and also brought Lucy with us and made preparations to bunker down in the basement.  Savannah and Zach were released from school early, and we were all glued to the TV awaiting our warning to head to the basement.  Lucy's mom arrived and Julia went home with Lucy for the night.  We were fortunate that we were not hit with any damage, but our neighbors just 45 minutes away faced devastation. 

Andy and Zach joined a long line of volunteers at the Red Cross on Saturday to help with recovery.  They ended up taking phone calls and handing out applications and spent most of the day back and forth between home and a neighboring town.

We enjoyed the talent show on Sunday night.  Julia's group was solid, fun and cute.  We saw courage in action when a third grader started her song, lost her place and ran off the stage.  I hoped and prayed she would return for a do over because I had seen her rehearse, and she was really good.  The crowd rallied behind her, and she did return and wowed us with both her courage and talent.  #8 (The Joy Dare) courage in action displayed by a third grader

The whole show was wonderful and worth the wait.  

As I watched the younger siblings of both Zach's and Savannah's friends, I thought about how we have come full circle with all these years at this school.  We pray that we can see it through for all four of them, and it gets harder every year. 

dress rehearsal

ready for the real deal

Double Dream Feet aka The Funny Feet Dance



Today we awoke to a beautiful blanket of snow, and while calling off school was not necessary, when I saw the snow, I wanted to grab the camera and take pictures.  I wanted the kids to play in the back yard and build a snowman because this snow was perfect for such fun.  We did not get the day off for what may be our only snow this year.  We were robbed!  Imagine tornadoes and then snow just days later.  We had the same scenario in reverse in January.

I called Andy on my way to work and instructed him to grab the camera and take pictures.  Thankfully, he and Savannah obliged with lots of pictures - more than I would have taken.

#9 a fresh, beautiful blanket of snow which I enjoyed as the sun rose

The Joy Dare

Flashback Friday

Zach and Savannah 8/98  -Savannah is wearing the orange onsie that Andy bought when sent to find girl's clothes because she had none.  Only Andy could find Denver Broncos orange in the baby girls' department.

February Recap

In February...

I hosted my first Thirty-One party and made my first Thirty-One purchase.  I love my new purses and tote.  I splurged because I knew I had an extra check coming.  Yes, I am a purse girl.

I went on a service field trip with Savannah, possibly the last one as field trips are few and far between in high school.  sniff, sniff

We celebrated Valentine's day with chocolate, flowers, and pajamas for me along with our family tradition of cupcakes.  Andy and I usually buy the kids those $1 heart shaped boxes of chocolates.  This year we both bought them on separate shopping trips, so the kids were doubly blessed.

I managed the social calendar of Julia which included two birthday parties, a playdate, and lots of practice for a talent show.  She follows the tradition of her siblings and brings children we love into our lives.  

I was so blessed on Sunday to celebrate Savannah's return from the middle school Believe conference.  We worshipped in our youth building which is way cool and then took Savannah out for ice cream that evening to get the details of the trip.  Cool things included her statement that this year Believe was 100X better than last year.  That deserves a big WOW!!!  She felt God's presence in the first gathering, and much to her dad's delight, she only saw the relentless flirt from school once :)  I call this particular boy the equal opportunity flirt as it seems he flirts with everyone and will probably pursue the first one to bite.  Believe me, he sounds harmless and fun.

Sunday brought further blessings when we visited another church campus to watch one of Julia's bffs get baptized.  Lucy was baptized by her big sister, Haley.  We have known Lucy her whole life as she arrived the year her mom taught Zach's second grade class.  Haley was a fourth grader then, and she has grown into a beautiful 18 year old.  In fact, Julia also helped decorate for Haley's surprise birthday party this month and hung out with Lucy and a bunch of high school seniors for the night.

Last but not least, I spent Sunday afternoon celebrating the mutual blessing of an orphan finding a home and a great family welcoming a new child.  My friend Iva, who has longed to adopt for as long as I have known her (longer than she has been married or had children) will leave in a couple of weeks to bring Piper home, and if God is willing, I will meet her at the airport.  

February has been good.