Hand over the credit card, Mom!

This is going to be a long post, but it is a funny story if you make it to the end.

The Background story:
When we visited my mother-in-law for Thanksgiving, my eight year old nephew was also celebrating his birthday. The moment he opened one gift - Bakugan balls, I knew Wyatt would want some. I had never seen them before, but they are basically the new generation of marbles. Bakugan balls are little, magnetic balls that come with a card containing a metal strip. When you roll the ball onto the card, it opens up into a character of some sort. As I suspected, Wyatt was sold.

Wyatt's birthday falls on December 17th. With his birthday and Christmas so close together, along with aunts, uncles, parents and grand-parents ready to spoil him for this first ever birthday and Christmas celebration, Wyatt cleaned up in the Bakugan ball area. At one point I calculated that he had about 30 of them.

The problem with Bakugan balls is that that they are a trading item, much like marbles used to be or like baseball or Pokemon cards. Wyatt was forbidden to take the balls to school, but he is one sneaky, little guy and by February, he had no Bakugan balls left. He "traded" them on promises that the other kids would go ahead and take the balls and bring in the replacements the next day. Of course that never happened, and Wyatt never learned his lesson. He kept doing it again and again.
(a little side note here, I literally frisk him before school when Andy is out of town, but I am not faulting Andy here as getting four kids off to school is a challenge in and of itself...and like I said Wyatt is sneaky, he caught on very fast and started stashing his toys in his backpack, so I had to check that as well ---literally the second before we walked out the door because he would sneak in the toys after he was frisked if I did it too early) Now, we did not replace the Bakugan balls for two reasons: 1) Wyatt was irresponsible, and we are not condoning that. 2) We are not going to supply Bakugan balls to his classmates and fellow bus riders especially when he is being disobedient in this area.

Just a little more background before this funny story. We budget carefully in this household, and we do not place money in the budget on a regular basis for toys. This means that our kids get toys for their birthdays and Christmas, and that is pretty much it. We usually buy something small for the Easter basket and may splurge one other time during the year, but we save any "fun" money we have for family outings. Zach and Savannah get an allowance, and that will start soon for Wyatt and Julia as well, and that is their toy money. For some perspective on the allowance, Wyatt will have to save every penny for over three months to be able to afford a three pack of Bakugan balls.

At this time Wyatt has one Bakugan ball, a late Easter gift from his granny that he received right before the school year ended, or I am sure it would be gone by now as well.

Now for the story:
Wyatt loves the Bakugan website and plays games on it. Recently, he told me that he wanted a Bakugan in the e-mail. I had no idea what he was talking about, but I assumed it had something to do with a game on the website. However, he played on the site one day and was anxious to check the mail box to see if a Bakugan ball had arrived. AHA! He wants to do some online shopping. Well, I explained that you have to place an order and pay for it, and you need a credit card, yada, yada, yada. Wyatt then whined with much drama, "PUHL__EAEESE GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD!" Sorry Dude, not happenin!

something to make me smile

Every year I send a photo album to Julia's orphanage containing pictures taken over the last year. I have never had any way of knowing whether or not they were received. This year, I asked a family who was traveling to get their daughter from the same orphanage to take the album. I learned today that the orphanage staff told them that I send albums every year and that they love getting them. This news made my day! I have been smiling all day since I learned that.

I did also send an album to Wyatt's orphanage this year, but I could not find a family to take it, so it was mailed.

A first!

revisiting this post today (June 28, 2009)
I took the camera to the pool today, and here's the proof! We've been enjoying evenings at the pool. It is such a relaxing way to end the day.

We visited the pool tonight for a short and late swim. For the record, I have been in the pool already this year as it is sooo hot outside, and the pool has almost reached bath water temperature.

Anyhoo, this post is not about me. It is about Julia. Andy told her that if she could swim a set distance, she could go off the diving board. She surprised him when she proved she could do it. So she got to jump off the board today. Julia approached it just as she does much of life. She quickly made her way to the end and jumped right in!! Most kids check out the distance from the board to the water or try to determine just how deep the water is. Not Julia, she just went for it. She swam to the edge of the pool like it was nothing and wanted to do it again, but just before her turn, the guard blew the break whistle, and we had already decided to leave on that break.

Be careful what you pray for

I prayed before we met Julia that I would get a strong girl because I figured she would have lots to overcome. She was proud to show me today that she can climb a doorframe! She climbs just like a monkey.

Be careful what you pray for. I prayed for a strong girl and got She-Ra!

My only regret for this post is that I can't include the sound effects. She was warming up her voice before the climb. What one has to do with the other, I don't know.

attitude!

I am in the kitchen this morning when in walks Julia in her fashion heels. She stops right in front of me, puts her hands on her hips, sticks out one foot, and states, "Hi, Miss Fabulous!" She then heads to the back door and as she rounds the corner, she snaps her fingers above her head and calls, "See Ya!"

If only I could video tape these random moments of comic relief around here.

Am I doing this for the last time?

Sometimes you know when you are doing something for the last time, and sometimes you don't. Sometimes the last time is a bittersweet occasion like a graduation. Sometimes it warrants a celebration like paying off a mortgage or a car (esp in this economic climate). Sometimes you just don't know if it is the last time like the last time you hold your child's hand to protect him in a busy parking lot or the last time he will let you kiss him goodbye in front of his friends. Today may have been the last time that I dropped Zach off at church camp. Rumor has it that they have done away with the high school camp. He is entering eighth grade (last year of middle school) in the fall, and your camp grade is determined by your grade in the fall. Zach has attended camp every year since he was old enough to go in the first grade. He loved it from the very start and could not wait to be old enough to enjoy the blob and the zip line and all the other cool water stuff available at camp. I loved it when he was in about the third grade and told me on the trip home that he had really experienced God at camp, and that was not the last time he would report an experience with God.

This year even leaving Zach at camp was a different experience. Instead of the entire family driving out to drop him off, I drove his friend Matthew and Matthew's mom and sister to camp. This is Matthew's first year to attend. Normally, I would not have bucked family tradition, but Zachary loved the idea of riding out with a friend, and I recognize that this is the new normal. His peers are very important, and it was fun for me to ride with a friend as well. Knowing that this may be his last drop off at camp, I took pictures this time. I do wish that I had a 1st grade picture to add to this post, but I don't.

I hope that Zach has a terrific time and camp, and more importantly that he draws closer to God through this experience. The money I have saved for this since last summer will be money well spent if this is accomplished. Past experience has me convinced that it will be a great week. However, Zach has quite a hurdle to overcome in the first few days this year. You see Zach is the kid who has to learn things the hard way. On Friday, with a heat index of about 102 and the sun blazing down on us, we spent the day at a water park with another family. I warned Zachary to put on some sunscreen, but he thought he wouldn't need it. A few hours later when he was starting to feel the sun, he decided to remedy it with sunscreen -too late. He was miserable all day yesterday with the resulting sunburn. He could not sleep last night, and I let him out of church this morning because he has oozing blisters all over his shoulders and around the top of his back. I sent him to camp today with a prescription burn ointment that I borrowed from my sister. Zach is under strict orders to wear a shirt at all times - even while swimming. Andy has said repeatedly this weekend, "obey your parents so that it will go well with you in the land." He has pointed out that had Zachary obeyed, it would have gone well with him and that this is a painful lesson in obedience. Savannah is our child who burns, and my fair skin runs a close second behind hers in that category. Neither of us were exactly bathing in sunscreen on Saturday, but our burns are only slight. A little obedience would have gone a long way for him.

As the oldest child, Zachary does not make it onto the blog much. He is busy with wrestling and football and embarking on a life that does not always mesh with family life. This time comes much too fast, so this post is all about Zach and his latest news.

This is Zach's new Facebook picture. He wanted to look like a bodyguard, so he has one earplug. This is my tough guy who is lifting weights for wrestling and can bench press 150 pounds and dead lift 210 pounds. He is strong enough to push me across a room without intending to do so. He is slightly taller than me and weighs quite a bit more than me. Oh, and he is only 13. Who knows how big and strong he is going to get? Zach has always felt that God has gifted him with physical strength.











In order to fully enjoy all the water activities at camp, every camper must pass a swim test. This is taken right after they check in to their air conditioned rooms - yeah, this is not the camp I went to as a kid. I never attended church camp, but I did go to band camp in high school. Zach will have delicious meals this week and great worship time along with lots and lots of fun. Band camp was nothing, and I mean nothing, like this.

Zach has passed the test, so he receives a bracelet that he will wear all week indicative of that.

Zach and Matt show off the muscles they have gained from all that lifting at wrestling. They were so excited to be assigned to the same room.

During this week, I will mail a letter daily to Zach. It is a big deal to get mail at camp. Everyone in the family will write at least one letter to him. I left a care package when I dropped him off, and even though Zachary and I have clashing personalities, I will miss my Zach man and be anxious to hear all about camp when he returns on Friday.

me either - the funny side of learning English

For the most part, Wyatt has the English language nailed. Every single day he will use a word that leaves me perplexed as to how he knows the word. Recently that has been with animals. He'll see a picture and name an animal, and I will think "when did he learn that?" However, he has this funny expression that isn't quite being used correctly. He says "me either" instead of "me too." For example, someone will say "I want to go swimming," and Wyatt will say, "me either!" This is just one of those funny things a mom does not want to forget.

Allie

One of our travel mates on our trip to China for Wyatt was Allie. She brought along two of her boys who were just great kids, and we enjoyed them very much. Unfortunately, we were only together in Beijing. When our groups split, we went different directions, and we saw each other only briefly in Guangzhou. Anyway, Allie is doing the coolest thing right now. She is blogging about her trip last year. Our trip blog is still up on Wyatt's sight, but I am having so much fun reading Allie's perspective that I thought I would share the link with you. I will be asking permission or forgiveness tonight :)

http://bestwicksadopting.blogspot.com/ - and a really cool thing is that Allie got to see the terra cotta warriors - something I do so hope to see someday

Good Grief!!

The news to hit this family yesterday is that my youngest sister who is a DECADE younger than me needs a hip transplant. She is on crutches in the meantime. Good Grief!

a medical year

• Dad is almost finished recovering from surgery and plans to have a knee replacement later this year. Shall we say bionic man?
• Mom is coming home from surgery and is hoping to have her neck surgery later this year.
• It looks like Wyatt will have another surgery this year too.

Can we get a group discount? :)

no rehab

It looks like Mom will be leaving the hospital tomorrow. As of the other day, she was going to go to rehab for a few days, but they determined today that she will not need that. She will, however, need home health visits.

perspective

Last night we celebrated two Gotcha days by joining our local Families with Chinese Children group at a Chinese buffet. After we made our way home, we finally pulled out the Gotcha day gifts we purchased in China for the kids. We let Julia sort through her gifts to choose the one she wanted, and Andy chose Wyatt's gift. Wyatt received this drum. Julia got her drum like this last year. It has the years of the Chinese Zodiac on one side and the appropriate symbol to match on the other side. Wyatt's drum has a horse on it because he was born in the year of the horse. Julia's has a monkey (chuckling here) because she was born in the year of the monkey - quite appropriate.

Julia chose this drum, and wow, this little thing produces a nice sound.

Jordan, a shop owner in Guangzhou did the writing on Julia's drum (Wyatt has one to, also done by Jordan). This is another red thread in Julia's adoption. The number 7 was all over her adoption, but pearls were as well. I think Jordan just comes up with stuff on the spot to put on the things on which he does calligraphy. He chose the pearl as one of Julia's symbols, and that happens to be her birthstone, and while in China to adopt her, we spent our entire trip staying at a hotel on the Pearl River.

I think most of you know the red thread story, but if you don't, it is a Chinese proverb that states that a red thread connects those people who are destined to meet. It may tangle, but it never breaks. In the adoption community, many people call the pieces that pull together their relationship with their children red threads. In our house we call them God's markers and red threads.

The rest of this post is just ramblings on something that was on my mind yesterday. Read on if you like.

An interesting take on this:

Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, "But we knew nothing about this,": does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Doe not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done? Proverbs 24:11-12

Yesterday as I was searching for the scripture that was a turning point in our decision about Wyatt, I came across the above scripture. This is the way it struck me yesterday. Wyatt was not being led to death. This scripture indicates that if you can stop someone from being led to death, and you do nothing then God will hold you responsible. However, on second thought, maybe on some level Wyatt was being led to the second death. He knew nothing of Christ when he came to us and still struggles to understand the basics of our faith. If he had been raised in China, maybe he would have come to know Christ, but most likely, he would not have.

What now do we do with this? Orphans are found all over the world. They are often the forgotten and most vulnerable. I am always tickled by those who say to me, "you have done your part for the orphans" --as if God has some quota that we met, or worse is the implication that we are doing ongoing work for the orphans because we adopted two of them. On the contrary, our work for the orphans ended on the day these adoptions were finalized because at that point, our children were no longer orphans. Yet I firmly believe that the command to help the orphans is an ongoing command, so we still have to find our role in doing that. Will this family adopt again? Our hearts are open to that road, but our finances are screaming "NO." However, that does not deter us. We will walk through the doors God opens. It is not easy, and sometimes we think we are crazy with the schedules we keep and the needs that must be met, but we were never called to a leisurely life, and now this scripture weighs on my mind. What exactly does it mean to know there is a need and to not meet it? This does not necessarily mean adoption because as I pointed out, adoption ends the orphan status. We may need to sponsor an orphan or encourage families through the process or take mission trips to love on orphans. ...much to think about

Happy Gotcha Day Wyatt!

On May 24th, 2007, we got a surprise phone call from our agency. They wanted to ask if we would be interested in a four year old boy. We had not completed our dossier and were quite surprised to get this call as we expected to finish the dossier and then wait 8-12 months for a referral. I cautioned them that we still had lots of work to do on that dossier.


I took down the information, and Andy and I decided to pray about it over that night to determine where we thought God was leading us. Deniece e-mailed pictures, but we decided that we would make a decision before opening the e-mail as we did not want the appearance of this boy to impact our decision. There was much to consider as he was older than Julia, and we never intended to go out of birth order, and his special need was a "maybe" for us, not one of the two definites that we had listed.


So we searched the scriptures, and we prayed. For a while we really didn't feel any clear direction, but this verse jumped out: "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." Proverbs 24:3-4 When I read the verse, my immediate thought was "what rare and beautiful treasures fill my home?" My immediate next thought was "my children of course!" We decided by the next morning that this little boy had a place in our home.
Of course there were other markers as well. Wyatt's birthday is six months after Julia's just as Zachary's is six months after Savannah's. Zach and Wyatt both have birthdays on the 17th of their birth months. Wyatt would have been Savannah's name if she had been a boy. We chose it long ago, and the meaning matches his Chinese name. Wyatt means "brave" or "little warrior" while Jun (Wyatt's middle name in China) means "soldier" or "brave."
We opened our e-mail very early in the morning on May 25th as everyone was preparing for work and school. These are the precious pictures found there. I thought he was cuter than I could have imagined.

It took months to finish our dossier, a process riddled with mistakes and redos. By December as a firm deadline to have it in China loomed, I thought that we may not make it. No, this does not get easier the second time around. Adoption is definitely a work of love. Having gone both routes, pregnancies are much easier :)

It was months before I joined any yahoo groups because I just couldn't believe this would all work out and even longer before I sent a care package. I found this picture on the yahoo group for Wyatt's orphanage, and it is my favorite picture found this way. On the right you can see Wyatt's friend Haley. She came home just a few months behind him, and I remember the day he sat on my lap and sobbed while looking at pictures of her with her new family. His English was not strong enough at that point to express what he was thinking, but he was clearly concerned about her well-being. I do believe that Julia is so important to him because she was his surrogate Haley when he first arrived at home.

As it turned out, my friend Katherine (a parent from Julia's adoption group) had a daughter from Wyatt's orphanage, and friends of hers were traveling back to China on a heritage tour in June of 2007. They got this picture along with several others for me while they were there.

Gotcha!!

Our travel group. We got to know two very special families in Hefei, and it would have been a loooooong time there if not for the fun we had getting to know the Miracles and the Millikens.

Aurora was a huge help. I can't even imagine what it must be like to suddenly have a family after years of living without one. I am sure it is exciting and very scary especially when you have a language barrier. We were out one day in Hefei with the Millikens, and we had to get back to the hotel to go and visit the orphanage. We had let Wyatt share a cab with the Millikens as we headed out that day, but he had to come back with us. That separation from Aurora broke his heart. He silently cried on the way back. We shared a meal at KFC with them later, and he made it very clear that Aurora was to sit next to him. She was such a good sport about it.

The hardest part of going to China to get Wyatt was leaving the other three behind. We desperately wanted to take them, but the funding was not there.

Here we are, a family of six!

Each of the kids have a Chinese shirt stating their place in the family. Zach's "big brother", Savannah's "big sister," Wyatt "little brother", and Julia "little sister."

Wyatt also got a trip to the beach courtesy of Grandma and Grandpa after he got home.

Here he is just a month ago. He likes it here.

This photo was taken for our post-placement report due this month.









I took some 558 pictures in China last year. I took about 9 rolls of film on our trip to see Julia. It was so hard to choose pictures for this post, and I think I went overboard. Of course lots more pictures are on Wyatt's site, and you are welcome to view albums from both of our trips on Snapfish if you e-mail me privately.

so many memories - I could write a book, I think

surgery update

Mom had her surgery yesterday, and all went well. She had two surgeries, and I am still unclear on what that is about, but apparently, that was expected. I have yet to talk to her, but she did talk to Tessa last night briefly as she was ready for more sleep.

looking back at gotcha day 2005

Today marks the fourth anniversary of meeting Julia.

On her birthday post a mere three days ago (yes, we met her three days after her first birthday). I revealed that I would share the story behind this first glimpse of Julia we ever had, and I will try hard to keep it short.
Our agency called me at work a little earlier than anticipated. Andy had worked third shift, and we knew our referral was coming that day (April 19, 2005). We guessed at when the call would come and had a plan to talk with our agency rep on three-way. Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans. The call came just as I was trying to settle an unruly class to finish a timed test where the time had been messed up. I could not get Andy to wake up, and the agency had several calls to make, so I was cautioned to call back quickly. I did call back without Andy on the line to learn that I had a beautiful daughter who was 10 months old. I was surprised as we were willing to go up to age three and expected a child slightly older. As we talked, the representative e-mailed me the picture below. It is a good thing that I had her e-mail it to Andy as well. Andy called immediately after I got off the phone and raced to the computer so that we could open her picture at the same time. I had forgotten to go to "no mail" on my yahoo groups, so Andy opened our e-mail to find that there were some 200 messages downloading as other families shared their news. He finally weeded through all of them and opened the picture, but the e-mail did not come to my work address. He forwarded it to my mom, and they both e-mailed it to my work address -still didn't arrive. They made a few more attempts while both were telling me she was beautiful and still no e-mail for me. Finally, Andy gave up and printed the picture and drove to my school to show it to me. We then went to pick up Zachary and Savannah from school and shared the exciting news with them.
The next pictures we saw of Julia were these two, and I counted all her fingers and toes.

Shortly before we traveled we received these pictures, and I was surprised to find that she was standing.

On June 4th (her birthday), we boarded a plane, and our journey to China began. This picture was taken right at the end of Zachary's and Savannah's first flight ever (not counting the one Zachary took as a baby that he couldn't possibly remember).

On June 7th, we met Julia in a Civil Affairs office in Guangdong. This was probably taken that day. This picture was on the disposable camera that I sent to the orphanage while we waited to travel.

The goodbye was hard. Julia cried for hours, and her nanny sobbed and sobbed. I felt like the cruelest person, but God kept whispering in my ear that a family would be better for her.

Here we are - a family of five!!

traditional red couch pictures

a very special group - we loved group 777 and would love to have a reunion with them

note that Zachary and Savannah are standing in front of both grandmas who travelled with us to meet our new addition

We have so many precious memories of that trip of a lifetime.

One week after our arrival at home, we had a wedding to attend.

In August, we dedicated Julia at our church and threw a party for extended family and friends to meet her.

one year later, we took her to the beach for the first time

Today we wished Julia a "happy gotcha day." We had an out of town shower to attend for my brother and his bride. That was a lot of fun, but we did leave the kids at home. While we were in China, we collected a gift for gotcha day for every year until Julia turns 18. I have yet to pull out that gift this year, but stay tuned as we celebrate another gotcha day on Wednesday.

Chinese Culture camp

Wyatt, Julia, and I attended a Chinese culture camp today. The organizers did a fantastic job of putting this together. Savannah has attended in the past, and I think, as is true with anything, experience works out kinks and brings new ideas.

This year they started the day by making an edible abacus.

We then visited a drummer who worked on teaching the kids how to tap out a beat and finished with talking about the beat needed to keep the rowers on the dragon boats in sync so they can win the race. I wished Andy had been there for that session for two reasons. The drum was very cool and produced a very nice sound, and Wyatt was very anxious to participate, and he did a very nice job of pounding out a correct rhythm for the song being used. He did tend to go too fast at times, but I think he has an ear for tempo.

We then learned about the Chinese equivalent of Valentine's day which will be celebrated in August this year. Chinese mythology is quite lengthy with complicated stories. In this picture, the kids are making a magpie bridge so that the lovers who are separated in the heavens can meet. The magpies do this once a year in the seventh month on the seventh day, and this is the double 7 festival.

We then went on to learn about the double 5 festival which is the Dragon Boat festival. It is probably being celebrated in China now. On both of our trips to China, this festival was taking place. Again the mythology behind the festival is complicated, but there is a dragon in the water who is frightened by five colors. The children made medallions with five venomous creatures on them to ward off evil spirits. Of course the mythology is interesting and fun to learn, but we are always aware that we do not want to bring false or bad spiritual influence into the lives of our children.

After lots and lots of cool crafts, the kids had lunch and then played games. Wyatt preferred the fishing game while Julia loved a game where rocks were loaded into buckets to make people climb a mountain - set up with pulleys and quite cool. This had something to do with something they learned in a session I did not attend, so I don't really know the story behind it.

The big kids spent the morning decorating dragon boats, so the kids could have dragon boat races during game time.

We had a great, but tiring time. We returned home in time to work in the nursery at church and then headed to a graduation party for our friend Kaleb. It was a nice, mini reunion with members of our old Sunday school class. We sure do miss them all. We are tired and off to bed.