So I did this thing...

 You might remember a while back that I posted about how I found a photo storage option that checked all the boxes for me.  

You can see that post here:  https://lifewiththepages.blogspot.com/2020/01/forever-photos.html

Since I started using Forever, I have come to love it more and more, so I am now an ambassador.  If you would like help with organizing and backing up your photos, reach out to me.

Forever Photo Storage

He is for you

 Several years ago a friend gifted me with a door hanger in the form of a chalkboard cross.  I hung it on our basement door, and in January of every year, I write a scripture reference or statement for the year on it.  It stays for the year (usually, 2020 was an exception).

For 2021, I wrote.

He is for you, and He knows what He is doing.

What a year to cling to that!

    In August, we learned of three men who entered the hospital with COVID, and not one of them is fully recovered today as I type this in December.  All have had scary scary situations leading to legitimate fear amongst their loved ones that they would not survive.  The one closest to us is home with his family now, and we continue to pray for his lungs to fully recover.  He went into the hospital on August 2nd and finally got to return to his children in early December.  His wife was a rock, sending out prayer points and spending her days at his side as much as protocols allowed her to.  

    Just days after our friend got released from rehab, my husband's hometown was utterly destroyed by tornadoes.  We learned of the horrors from afar as people begged others to check in on Facebook when trying to account for friends and neighbors.  Andy made it there to drop of supplies and offer hugs and support. He said you can't grasp the scope of a town almost gone from the storms from merely seeing the pictures.  The residents are supposed to get their destroyed homes to the curb so that they can be hauled off, but that will require heavy machinery with telephone poles and trees down and in the way.  Andy is not sure this community will come back.  He figures many will resettle elsewhere.

    I can barely stand to listen to the news as it is just so grim all the time.

    My job has dramatically changed in such a way that I don't believe I can stay, and that has been difficult and really painful.  I have really grieved the situation as I prepare to let go of an almost 29 year career that I loved for 27 of those years.

    However, there have been real highs this year.  Love poured out on those hurting communities warms the heart.  I have three kids experiencing really great things.  They are mostly past the COVID protocols.  Wyatt graduated high school and started college, an experience he is truly enjoying.  Savannah finished her master's degree and took a job that she loves.  Julia started her senior year as class president, and she is really shining in that role.   She has chosen a college and locked in a room and roommate.  

    As we wrap up this year and prepare our hearts to welcome our Savior, I am pondering all the hard that this year has been and trying to rejoice in all the good.  I am trying to remember that despite it all He is indeed for us, and He knows what He is doing!

Unmerited Favor and Grace

 

It has been a month of exhausting highs and lows here in our household.  Yes, it has been a hot sec since I last posted.  I have some objectives today.

I added a car key and diagram of a car accident to our shadow box today (See the Fingerprints of God) post.  On 8/2 Savannah was involved in a hit and run accident.  She was hit from behind by a truck while traveling in the middle lane of a three lane highway.  She lost control of her vehicle and swerved to the right onto the shoulder and then her vehicle rolled to the left landing upside down in the far left-hand lane.  

So many miracles: 

• she didn't end up in oncoming traffic
• the car was not hit a second time
• she exited the vehicle on the traffic side without being hit
• her injuries were soreness and bruising, no embedded glass

In short order she has been tasked with finding a car (done)  and housing (could use some prayer here) as she prepares to start a new job. 

Why did I call this post "Unmerited Favor and Grace?" I did so because we don't deserve to get the good news that our daughter is okay after such an accident any more than our friends deserved to get the bad news that their son was shot to death this month.  We aren't special... but God.  May He be glorified in this.

I also write this post to ask that you pray.  In the last two weeks, I have learned of two fairly young adults who have died from COVID.  I can name three men who are currently in ICU and have been for weeks fighting organ shut down and for their lives against COVID.  All three of them have children elementary aged or younger. Please pray for them.  Pray that God would be glorified in the lives of these servants.  Please ask that they fully recover and raise the children entrusted to them. Pray for the strength and peace their brides need and for loving, trustworthy caregivers for their children. Pray for the words used in the presence of their children that they would not cause undo fear and anxiety.  Pray for wisdom for the medical staff attending to them.  Pray for rest for the weary in this battle.  Pray that God's will be done. Please pray, pray, pray.

Making some things new

We are just about finished with the kitchen make-over.  I am now working on decor.  We've changed all of it.  I have one more practical piece to pick up and need to affix some sawtooth hangers to the tiles Julia and Savannah had made for me for Mother's Day so that I can hang them above the stove.  I will continue to add shelves to the cabinets to create more space and organization over the next few months, but mostly everything is back to normal.

I hung this wall decor on Monday and fell off the counter while doing so.  I am okay but really sore.  I returned to Jazzercise today and really struggled through the workout, and that was after taking some pre-workout Ibuprofen.  Hoping things go better on Saturday.

I haven't mentioned this item on the blog in a while, but here's another kitchen update.  I can't say how many times this simple box has encouraged me.  My original post about the history is here:
The Fingerprints of God

During the kitchen makeover, I replaced our original shadow box.  There were two reasons for this.  1. Our dog chewed up one of the corners on the original box the last time we painted the kitchen, and I never got around to replacing it.
2. The original box was crowded and things were just sitting in the bottom.  It was a mess.

Since my original post, here's some of the stuff added:

• a copy of Savannah's sixth grade schedule because it matched a friend for every class which was a specific prayer request (not specific that it be Savannah but that a friend would be in every class) of said friend's mom
• a notice that the surgical center had written off the balance of Wyatt's surgery when he was six years old - This surgery was a repeat of a surgery that didn't go well.  In the six months between the surgeries, our insurance changed.  We made sure that the doctor was still in network but never thought to make sure that the surgical center was also in-network, so that bill came has a surprise with 7X the out-of-pocket cost of the original surgery.
• an approved appeal to the insurance company for a child who needed medication that was not covered and too expensive for our budget.  That appeal was a hard-fought battle necessitated by the dangerous symptoms we were seeing after the insurance company denied the original request.
• the notice that Savannah was granted a full-tuition scholarship to the university from which she just graduated
• two starfish - I am sure you know the starfish story, but you may or may not know how that story played out in Julia's adoption.  It was one of the things that inspired our adoption, and since we ended up adopting twice, well you get the idea.

I tried to think of something to adorn the box related to the contents.  I was going to pick up wall decor at Hobby Lobby that simply said "Faith" or "Thankful" to hang above the box.  Instead, I opted to have Julia pen the "...but God" that is the centerpiece of the box.  The space above the box would not really work for more wall decor, and I am really pleased with the result. 

A Different World

As everyone knows life looks very different right now, and I am hoping for a new, better normal.

Here's the latest news for our family.  I am now compiling new happenings in my Forever account and working on backing up the blog there, so my blogging will likely continue to be sparse.

We have two, new college grads.  I have some really fun pictures of Savannah.  Zach is still awaiting his cap and gown, and his college is in a volatile area, so we may have to wait for some of the national and local tension to ease before I can get pictures of him anyway.  We had a small, family celebration which is likely how we would have normally celebrated, but now things will look different.  We have a date on the calendar in late July to celebrate our grads when our state will allow us to gather in groups of 50.  

Julia passed her learner's permit and has secured a job.  She starts work tomorrow. She's only three weeks away from a dramatic change in availability due to soccer season starting, so I hope she can be helpful enough that they are willing to keep her when her soccer and school limits her to weekends only. Normally, we would have had a party for Julia's friends in some form.  She really wanted something small, so I was thinking a restaurant option or sweets bar at home - although she really doesn't have a sweet tooth. Normally, the family would have gathered for her birthday.  Her friends very sweetly and creatively celebrated her.  It was absolutely perfect.  We are still limited to gatherings of ten or less in our state, so that late July date will also be a celebration of this milestone birthday for Julia.

We are hoping and praying that Wyatt finds a job.  His friends' parents are more uncomfortable with the kids gathering than Julia's, so he's really been housebound.  A job would get him out more and would be a healthy thing for him.  Our local news announced that a restaurant in our city has three employees with confirmed cases of COVID.  I want my kids to have all the experiences that working gives them -

• managing their own money
•  seeing the value of money reflected in the time spent earning it
• coming under authority
• learning about paying their dues as the newbie
•  time management
• asking off, trading shifts, being a part of a team, etc.  
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• However, I do realize that the more "essential" workers we have going into various places, the more we put our family at risk.  Andy has said that we've asked too much of our youth in this pandemic, and it is time to let them live.  I will impress upon them the need to remain cautious as we can't yet let down our guard, and we will step into this new normal.

Phasing a return to normal

So as governors around the country are phasing us gradually back to normal (hopefully).  We have some phasing of our own going on here.  I realized after I started this whole project that the paint color would not work with the unpainted inside of the glass front cabinets.  That meant more painting.  I am glad to have done this because I love the contrast of the light gray against the dark gray.  That light gray will eventually be the color of the walls, but I think I need to finish the school year first.  This project has taken a full month. I am a stickler for letting paint cure, and I have noted on my calendar that I can return items to my open shelves and to the area under the sink on May 30th - 30 days after they were painted. The glass front cabinets can have items returned to the shelves around the 23rd of June though I admit that yesterday I did line that top shelf that was painted almost three weeks ago with paper plates and returned light-weight glasses to it.

We had all the glass replaced with seeded glass. I had a hard time visualizing it,but I really like it.  Now I spend every day looking for spots that need touch ups and touching them up and battling everyone on closing the cabinet doors - again phasing in when those doors can be closed without causing more touch ups to be needed. 

In addition to phasing the kitchen gradually back to normal for us.  I have also been phasing my workouts back in. I have now completed four Jazzercise classes via Facebook Live since my injury that sidelined me at the beginning of February.  Today Savannah came home, and five of us (minus Julia) enjoyed a 5.5 mile hike.  Working from home on a screen all day has added a new challenge of carpel tunnel syndrome, but my doctor thinks we can easily knock that out.

Even so, I am very aware that this pause was the only way this kitchen project could have realistically happened.  What I thought would take a week took a full month, and I don't have a big kitchen.We do still have to paint the walls.  I am not sure I want to return to what our normal was.  I want to phase in more time to complete the projects that end up on the back burner around here. I do realize that life in the next few months will be busy. I have kids in very busy stages of life and am preparing to move one of them eight hours away at the end of summer.

I am concerned about what school will look like in the fall, but I am regaining hope that I will be cheering on a soccer player from the stands and that I will maybe cheer on a runner too as my youngest two wrap up their high school years.

While I wanted to honor our fallen military members today, it seemed odd putting up my wreath that quotes "land of the free because of the brave" especially when I don't feel so free right now. Anybody else? I am well aware though that those who died in battle did grant us freedom. May we never take it for granted.  Yes, I did hang the wreath.

Pause

When the world pressed pause...

I have been limiting my time on social media lately.  It's for my own mental health. In those first few weeks of staying at home, social media was a mental health outlet as we collectively sought laughter to cope.  There were the toilet paper memes, the homeschool memes, and musical parodies to take us away from this startling reality.  Now, however, the world is restless and even angry.  Some are arguing that our rights are being infringed upon.  I don't disagree.  Some are arguing that the economic fallout is too big a price to pay, and I don't  disagree.  I spoke the other day with my college friends, and none of them know anyone who has gotten the virus.  I, however, do know a couple of people who have had it.  I know two who recovered at home, but the recovery was long - 3 or 4 weeks.  I know of two young people who ended up fighting for their lives on ventilators - one is still fighting.  I get the need to weigh all costs.  As Andy pointed out, those who can work from home are primarily white collar workers which is another issue altogether as the economy teeters on the brink of collapse while the most vulnerable get shoved under water.  It's just really tough.

I am very thankful that I have been able to continue to work.  My role has looked very different, and my hope is that I can still access the building before we close the books on this year as I have much work do do there that can't be done at home.  I am thankful that Andy continues to work.  I am thankful that Zach and Savannah continue to work even though both of them do so outside  of our home.

For my own health, I had to figure out how to handle this pause, how to find the gift in it.  Instead of sitting in the stands at a rainy track meet, I have been painting my kitchen cabinets.  This has been a someday project for quite some time.  I have held onto a paint chip for months, maybe even a year or more weighing whether my choice would work with light brown countertops and black appliances.  The kitchen really needs a full renovation including new flooring and a new ceiling.  We had hoped for flooring this spring, but now with everything so uncertain, that is pushed back again.  We also realize that our HVAC is not long for this world, and our deck needs to be replaced, so we have quite a list of expensive projects.  I wrestled for weeks over whether to spend a couple hundred bucks on a kitchen makeover during a time of such uncertainty before realizing that I might lose my mind without a project with visible results while stuck at home.

So here I am, tired and six working days into this project- and this is just the cabinets. I plan to do the walls and trim too.  I work on it mostly on rainy days. On pretty days I work on pulling English Ivy out of my yard - it has taken over almost half the back yard.  I also walk on pretty days.  I have to be outside.  The reality is that these projects are taking longer than my long projections on the time needed.  I can't figure out how I could have done this around being tired from work, or around the drives back and forth to school for track practices - not to mention the meets. Today I am taking the day off from painting, maybe from English Ivy pulling too.  Today would have been a holiday in my hometown, a much celebrated tradition. On a normal year it would have been rainy or cold for this outdoor fun.  Today is sunny and beautiful - of course.

So I am choosing to find the good in this time of quarantine and trying not to be anxious (a real battle) about what is to come in our uncertain future.

So the good for us is this:

I have a plan to finally get that broken cabinet door fixed.

One side of the kitchen is complete, so I have this motivation.  I like the color. It has a hint of blue and works well with the kitchen.  Julia and Andy love it.  Because nobody else cares, their opinions  don't count - ha!  It looks so much better than I could have imagined after the tired, worn white we had before. Even Zach has complemented it.  I think Wyatt is just enduring it as he likes to eat, and that is a bit hindered in this.

These shelves were so beat up that I didn't even think paint could fix them, but they look so amazing now.  I am a perfectionist and am honestly disappointed in the job I did on the cabinets under the kitchen sink. I should have sanded some places more.  Those cabinets need new hinges, but I can't find matching hinges, so we are stuck with what we have. I am also a stickler for letting paint cure.  I painted under the sink and then read that it will be a month before I can use that space (same with the shelves), so now we have stuff stashed in corners in boxes, but oh well, it's not like we can have anyone over. 

We did just buy a waterproof pad for under our sink. The faucet isn't sealed properly, so we get occasional drips. Along with that I picked up shelves and bins to better organize that area.  Organizing and purging the kitchen cabinets has been so, so good.  I should mention that Andy has helped with the purging, and Julia has helped with the painting.  

Michael's is still open, so when I decided that the shelves might look better with a crate or two to organize the contents, I was able to secure one and paint it to match while still working on this paint job.  I bought crates for places in the kitchen where things tend to accumulate and make it look cluttered. Bonus - they were on sale.  So pleased. 

Sawhorses - the hardest part of this job is painting the doors - not because they are hard to paint, but because it is hard to do the edges on a solid surface.  Andy picked up collapsable sawhorses to give me a work space, and they also serve as a drying space for the smaller doors. The doors are what make this project take so long because I am painting the inside, so both sides have to dry before I can move on.  The primer is the other issue.  It is so hard to get off of the brushes that I try to get as much use as possible out of it, but given the limited space to dry the doors, I have to take the kitchen in small doses. So far I have painted the cabinets above and below the stove and below the sink.  I hope to paint the cabinets above the sink tomorrow.  After that the sections left should not force us to eat out because the kitchen is out of commission :)

So if we are counting, I am thankful for:

1. time to complete this project
2. fresh paint
3. a color more family friendly than white
4. crates
5. purging
6. organizational tools
7. sawhorses

Other things I am thankful for this week:

8. Zach completed his classes.

9. Savannah is almost finished. She had a successful final review and will wrap up her classes on Tuesday.

10.  Etsy - yard flags for the grads

11.  Savannah - summa cum laude grad

12.  local radio station announcing the graduating class by name throughout the next week in Savannah's college town

13. two book awards from professors for Savannah

14. a beautiful evening walk at one of my favorite places

15.  Julia's friends have gotten creative - one dropped off a Blizzard yesterday and another dropped off cookies today.

16.  I was able to make an appointment to get our dog groomed - long, long overdue and not just cosmetic as this is causing discomfort for her.

17.  Andy has participated in a virtual choir for our online church services for two weekends and has played cajon for an online service

18. hanging out with my college friends on Zoom

19. Andy's family is actually meeting almost weekly on Zoom - including relatives we haven't seen in years

20. virtual book clubs

21.  Some Good News with John Krasinski - Did you ever think a taxi driver could make you cry good tears? Maybe when he's been driving patients to the hospital free of charge and then the hospital calls for another "routine" run where he arrives to a standing ovation from the staff.  How about a pillow? Maybe when an elderly man sleeps with a picture of his wife, and the nursing home staff cares enough to have that picture put on a pillow for him.  He's a jolly man moved to tears.  How could even a stoic person not have a little eye-watering over that?

I am well aware that the whole world is suffering right now. We've had hits too.  Savannah applied for a summer internship that has to be cancelled because of COVID.  That's disappointing.  I have really grieved for the Class of 2020 and their parents.  Those years of dragging kids out of bed at the butt crack of dawn (an expression my mom used) to get them to school.  Those years of lunch accounts and packing lunches. Those years of struggling with a teacher with whom a student  could not get along.  Those years of loving a class or a teacher.  Those years of breezing through a class while persevering through another.  All those years came to an abrupt halt. No prom pictures in the park for one of the last gatherings of a class.  No parents staying up late to hear the stories and see the pictures of all the fun and breathing a sigh of relief that the kids made it home safe.  That final piece of closure - the graduation ceremony altered or cancelled.  

Savannah likely can't make it to the alternate date for graduation, and she's really disappointed that she won't likely be able to make it to the delayed ceremony for the book award presentations.  Zach is finding himself restless and disappointed that the end of college is so anticlimactic.  

It's hard, but I want to make sure I remember the good that came in spite of the hard.