Picturing October with the Pages

Lots of pictures for this post (36- that's a roll of film!), but I will start with the news.

Mom is home from the hospital. YAY!  She arrived at home on Thursday evening.  I have not seen her all week because I have been fighting a vicious cold and going to bed after work everyday.  She does, however, sound much better today. When I talked with her on Wednesday, she sounded like she was half asleep and told me that her medication made it appear that the walls were closing in and that she felt like she could put her arm right through a print on the wall in front of her. I teased about the 60's style hallucinogens she was taking. You have to laugh, right?

I have torn through two books in the last couple of weeks.  Bound by Love by Sharon Droeger tells the story of Lily Nie.  Lily founded the agency we used to adopt Wyatt and Julia and grew up during the cultural revolution in China.  The book is a compelling page turner, and Wyatt and Julia are listed among the children in the back.  They were quite excited to find their names in a published book.  If you should read this book and look for their names, you will find Julia in group 777 and Wyatt in group 1362.
One thing that was striking about this book was that Lily kept saying, "we will do everything we can and then leave it up to God."  As I recall that was my motto during Wyatt's grueling adoption process.

I also finished The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.  Another page turner, this memoir reveals the bizarre situation in which Jeannette and her siblings grew up.  With an alcoholic dad and a mom who tried to make them believe that starving and living without indoor heat or plumbing was an adventure, the story unfolds to reveal determination to triumph over such a difficult (big understatement) childhood.

The pictures share the rest of October to this point.
1. Homecoming came on a beautiful day.  Zach does not usually get to bring home any of his football uniform, but they had the jerseys for school that day.

2. Andy arrived home from Alaska just in time (literally) for a field trip to the pumpkin patch with Julia.  She and her best friend Larissa left little time to hang out with the parents, but we enjoyed chatting with Larissa's parents...must have a play date soon.

3.  The third time is the charm in choosing the pumpkin.

4. Julia and me

 5. Homecoming that night was a big improvement over last year when it poured.  It was beautiful this year. Savannah's field hockey team was ready for the parade.

6.  Wyatt awaited the parade with some of Julia's friends.  Julia missed the parade for gymnastics and joined us later in the game.

7. The seniors did the best float - loved the Up theme.

8.Zach after the game.  He did not get to play in the homecoming game but did make it into three varsity games this season.

 9.  Wyatt had hill billy night at AWANA and came up with his costume himself for the most part.

 10.  We saw baby Regan get dedicated at church, and she behaved nicely for the event.

11.  Everyone except Zachary enjoyed Halloween at the zoo.  Wyatt dressed as Dan from Bakugan, and Julia was Silvermist from Tinkerbell.

12.  My favorite characters at the zoo.

13.  We took the kids for a family day at the pumpkin patch on Zach's birthday.  It was hot and crowded and not exactly fun, but we did bring home a pumpkin.

14. silliness at the pumpkin patch

15. When we celebrated Zach's birthday, Tara and I got photographic proof that we can touch our noses with our tongues...well, the photographer must have missed my talent in this one.

16. Savannah enjoyed her field hockey banquet.  She received a very nice jacket with her name embroidered on it for her participation.  Wyatt went through a $10.00 game card in no time.  Wyatt!!

17.  We spent a family day at the park where I attempted to get good pictures of the kids since I no longer buy school pictures...thinking Christmas cards here.  Andy declared it the best thing we've done as a family in a long time.

18.

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20. Andy jumped out of a tree and then this happened.  It is a good thing he has a sense of humor and didn't get hurt.  (later, he ran down a hill with the kids, and his knee was not at all pleased about that)

21.

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23.  Zach was less than cooperative, so we will be seeing a professional photographer soon.

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27.  loved this shot

28. He belongs in a movie, don't you think?

29.  Julia let me put her hair in ponytails...may be the last time as she is pretty adamant about doing her hair herself.

30. We went to a fall festival at the church where Wyatt attends AWANA, and Julia ran into some friends.

31. We saw Scooby Doo and enjoyed a hayride through the woods.

32.  more football -Zach was one of the two captians chosen for the last freshman football game.  He is respected by his coaches and teamates and a great encourager.

33.  Andy and I both made it to Wyatt's Halloween pirate-themed Halloween party at school.

34.  They played a game where they wrapped each other up as mummies.  The toilet paper kept breaking, so none were very successful.

35. I've never seen kids so anxious to clean up.

36.  Wyatt and his teacher -aren't they cute?

Mom's hospital stay has been extended, and Wyatt loses his first tooth

 Mom remains hospitalized and will be there until Tuesday as they plan to insert some sort of device to help drain her lungs.  She did receive chemo today.  I may go stay the night with her tonight. Scratch that, Julia is having a rough time with that plan, so maybe tomorrow night.  I have to work on Sunday, so I can't go to my Sunday school class anyway. Mom really has had few visitors for this stay.  Aside from my not so pleasant sleeping options, her room is quite nice with lots of space and privacy. 

In other news, Jules (mom's little dog) is so depressed.  She has to contend with Lola, the diva to end all divas dog, who attacks anytime anyone offers sweet Jules any affection.  Too bad I can't sneak Jules in to see Mom, but I may do the next best thing and bring her to my house for a few days so that we can love on her until Mom can get home. (Mom's dog was named Jules when she got her. Mom intended to change the name because I often call Julia Jules, but I told her Julia would probably get a kick out of it, so Jules stuck.)

...and in other news

After months of waiting and hoping, Wyatt showed me a loose tooth this afternoon.  Wow!  When I took a closer look, I realized that his permanent tooth was already half way to full size and through the gums.  This revelation occurred between my jobs today, and when I returned from my second job this evening, that tooth was out and gone.  Wyatt put it up in a plastic bag for the tooth fairy and cannot find it. That is typical Wyatt.

Wyatt left this note for the tooth fairy:
I lost my tooth
thanks
love Wyatt
I love Bakugan
(He started with a list, but I told him that the tooth fairy does not typically do wish lists).

As this blog is for the kids, I do want to send my apologies to Wyatt at this time. 

Wyatt,
I know when we brought you home from China, we did so on a promise that we would take care of the surgeries you would need.  Our surgeon asked to see you again this past summer to consider some more reconstructive surgery, but we opted to skip that appointment.  Our insurance is an HSA, and there is no way we could afford surgery with that plan, so we opted to skip paying for a visit to a specialist that would just be a "no" on the surgery either way.  We know two things; You hate the very idea of surgery, and at this point in your life, you are probably quite happy to skip it.  We also know that God has a plan for provision in this.  He did not bring you across the world without a plan to take care of you.  We just elected our benefits for next year, so there is a maybe in that.

I love you my charming, affectionate, and funny little guy.  You are not the same spunky boy we met in China.  You are that and so much more.  Just this week you did tell me that you will pick a very good nursing home for me but not until I am very, very old.  You also told me that you will live in the woods close to my house so that you can visit every day.  I am holding you to those words Jane told me in China, when she said, "he is a very sweet boy, he will take good care of his parents one day."  She also called you naughty, but you are more nice than naughty these days.  You are doing very well in school, and I think we have turned a corner there.

I do have to finish with the Wyatt quote of the week.  We saw the doctor on Monday for a refill on medication.  Our pediatrician asked Wyatt what he likes to do.  Wyatt wanted some clarification, so he asked, "What do you mean?  Do you mean what do I like to do for recreation?"  A good chuckle emerged from both the doctor and me.  Wyatt's vocabulary is quite good.

letter to Oprah

Apparently Oprah ran an episode on the education system and basically followed the American way of blaming teachers for problems in American education.  I did not see the program and cannot comment on it, but this letter is a well-written response from someone in the trenches.

http://neatoday.org/2010/09/24/a-teachers-letter-to-oprah/

Let me add that the powers that be have decided to withhold the public announcement identifying which schools will be overhauled (overhauled = removal of the administration and 1/2 the staff) until after the elections in November.  Hmmm, could it be that there may be some shaking in the boots of some of our elected officials and school board members?  Do they think the public may not like it when the realization hits that this will happen to most schools with 35% or more free and reduced lunch populations?  It really just comes down to when it is your turn.

When the people fear the government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is freedom. - Thomas Jefferson

the latest on Mom

When I visited with Mom last night, the cystology report was still not back.  She felt much better but is still awaiting the liver biopsy and is anxious to be released from the hospital.  Her little dog misses her.

crazy life circumstances, an update

As I type Julia is sobbing on my lap.  She spent the night at my parents' house last night, but my mom was still in the hospital. Julia is worried about her grandma and missed having her at home. 

This is the latest:  Lots of fluid was removed from my mom's right lung today.  She can breathe much easier now.  There is, however, fluid around her liver.  They are awaiting biopsy results on the fluid from around her lung before doing the liver biopsy.  They did not do the liver biopsy today as it requires going through the lungs (or something like that, remember I am about as non-medical as a person gets), so they did not want to risk shooting infection or malignant cells right into her liver.  Praying here for a good result on that biopsy.

As for Josh, he made it home by 10:00p.m. last night, not so bad for a trip to the ER and then a visit with Mom before heading home.  Now Tara is posting daily on her Facebook page that Joshua should get the shot.  If he had had a shot at home, he may have forgone the whole EMS/ER ordeal.  He is sore today, but fine.

Happy Birthday, Zach!

I have so much to post, but I have to edit some pictures first.  Today, I am stopping to wish my Zach a happy birthday. Fifteen years ago (really just the blink of an eye), I held my firstborn for the first time.  Now, he won't even let me hug him, but I did get a slight hug today.  He weighed 7.5 pounds at birth, but now he can bench press his mom and then some.  He is all teenage boy as his birthday gifts included a much desired leather jacket (thanks to the grandparents, aunts and uncles who pooled their resources for that), a pair of jeans, and an amp for his bass guitar.  He loves his jacket and jeans and has not taken them off...so cute!

This weekend has been insane.  Mom was admitted to the hospital on Friday and is still there. They will be removing the fluid from her lungs tomorrow. Baby Regan was dedicated at church on Friday night, and after the service, we took our little people and Savannah to a Halloween celebration at the zoo.  Today, we took a much anticipated trip to the local pumpkin patch.  That proved to be a disappointment as it was too hot and too crowded to really enjoy what we had hoped would be a quality day with the family. We then gathered as much of the family as we could at our house to celebrate Zach's birthday.  Unfortunately, EMS transported my brother to the hospital just before our celebration started.  He has type 1 diabetes, and his blood sugar dropped too low for him to swallow. The paramedics were not satisfied when they got his blood sugar up to 200, and he was still unresponsive. I hope he is okay but must admit that the slow response is not unusual for him.  I think he will be fine. Whew!  What a whirlwind!

Mom

After a struggle with shortness of breath that has lasted more than a week, my mom is being admitted to the hospital.  Apparenty, she did not look good and did not feel well yesterday.  Today, she digressed into dry heaving, and there is talk of a possible abcess, but we really don't know much right now.  This was to be a weekend of celebration -Regan's dedication and Zach's birthday.  Please pray.

my letter of frustration

Dear Press, Public, and Lawmakers,
You all have opinions about the public school system and where it has gone wrong. I write to you to express the opinion of an insider who is tired of the attacks that come from all directions.
Let me start by asking a few questions: You say that our success has nothing to do with the quality of the student who graces our doors. They should all learn at the same level.  Does this apply to other careers that deal with people?  Should doctors be held accountable when a patient does not take the medicine and then does not recover?  Should the police receive pay based on how little crime is in the area they monitor?  Should those who work in high crime areas be fired for not stopping crime?

Do you know that when a school is evaluated, that teachers are evaluated by test scores and that the scores are the only determining factor for success?  It does not matter whether the student is academically gifted or if the student is learning disabled.  It does not matter if the student ever showed up to school or attempted any work, they are measured by the same tool and expected to have the same results. 

Do you know that students are not measured for their own success but are compared to other students instead?  When test scores drop, this reflects a difference between two sets of students.  Students are not tested at the beginning of the school year and then tested at the end with a comparison of those results. They are compared to the class that tested before them.

Do you know that we are forcing students to sit in classrooms and learn academically when they may be gifted in other areas such as working with their hands or with mechanics?  When we tell students that they must be proficient in the traditional classroom even if they are not designed for it, how are we serving them?  Is the value of a life determined by academic success? 

Do you want to be held responsible for educating students who arrive after a sleepless night of playing video games?  the hungry? the students who cannot speak the language? the gang members? the apathetic?  the disruptive?  the mean?  Do you want to teach a child who assaulted a teacher in another school? Do you want to be punched for insisting that the chips be thrown away or the cell phone be handed over?  Do you want your career on the line based on how these students do on one test?
Trust me, I am not opposed to testing.  I firmly believe that every student should take an exit exam to pass on to the next grade.  I believe that those who test poorly should have an appeal process where they can show examples of work that reflects the readiness of the student to move to the next level.  I am, however, adamantly opposed to high stakes testing where the high stakes impact only teachers.

Recently, our school system has been compared to that of Finland where supposedly they have one of the best systems.  It has been said that in America, schools are staffed by the bottom of the barrel while in Finland, teachers come from the cream of the crop.  How must those who are National Merit Scholars and teaching in our classrooms feel about that?  What about the teachers who have degrees in demanding fields from schools well-known for their programs?  What about me?  I never squandered my education.  I took challenging classes and worked hard. Do you need to be a genious to teach a child that 2+4=6?  Yet I work daily with students who do squander their education.  They refuse to work.  Every student in America has a right to an education, and it is free.  So many of them take it for granted, so they do not take advantage of it.  Instead, they sit and do nothing.

Parents defend them...the lazy and the disruptive.  The teacher last year was better.  My child does not like your style.  He can not sit still, so it should be okay for him to pour out a soft drink in your classroom.  Never mind the other 29 students in there, my child needs to be the center of attention.  It is your fault.  What difference does it make if he does not do the work as long as he does not misbehave in your class?  My child has acted like this since kindergarten--really? (and you still think kindergarten behavior is acceptable in high school?) My child does not like authority, so he is not going to listen to you, and I support him in this.  I've taught my child that women should not be in authority and that he does not have to obey you.  I am tired of parenting. I realize that he hasn't turned in a single assignment in three weeks and has completely wasted his time in class and kept others from working in the process.  Will you let him turn them all in now? - yes, go ahead and give up your weekend to grade and re-average my child's work because he refused to do it when he was supposed to.  I want a life. You be the parent.  (Are you kiddng?)

Unfortunatley, you might think that the scenarios above are rare hiccups in a demanding job. That is not true.  I have taught classes where 80% of the students had averages under 10% because they refused to work.  I came to class prepared to teach every day.  I remember the time when I spent six weeks going over subjects and verbs daily.  At the end of the six weeks,  I was helping a student go over her writing and asked her to identify the subject in a sentence.  "What is a subject, again?"  She asked.  UGH!  It was a great act of self-restraint to not turn and bang my head on the wall - apparently, I was only talking to the wall all along.

I am sorry that I cannot run to your house in the morning and make sure your child is dressed on time and is supplied for school.  No, I cannot provide supplies for your child.  I have 149 other students.  I cannot afford it.  Yes, I am exhausted.  I have tried to get 30 students to stay on task all day long.  I have spent a brief hour daily trying to make sure I have quality lessons established for the next week, and I will take home a stack of papers to grade.  Oh yes, and when I arrive at home, my own children will need to get to this or that and will need help with homework and will need to be fed.  Any of the work in my bag for the weekend or the evening is work for which I am not paid.  It is impossible to do the job without homework.  Are you willing to work for free?

Teachers are taught in college that in America, a teacher is expected to cure the problems of society.  When society fails, the teacher must fix it.  Society demands it.  I am sorry, but I do not know how to fix this.

How can you fix a system where God has been removed? Personal responsibility only rests on teachers and not students.  I can plan creative lessons and spend hours doing it only to have the students refuse to engage.  I can encourage and try to motivate and remind students that their future depends on what they do now, but I cannot make them do the work. I cannot do the work for them.  I cannot sell education to them.

I do believe that complaining with no solution is just whining, so I do have some suggestions.  Any teacher will say that class size has a huge impact on education.  I do believe we would be wise to lower class sizes - particularly in the lower grades and with comprehensive classes. Yes, this is an expensive proposition, but we are spending billions on tests that are deemed unreliable.  In Finland, three teachers are assigned to a class of 30 (so I've heard).  That would certainly improve education.  I also think that because our lawmakers know so much about how to fix our schools and repeatedly pass legislation to do so, they should be required to teach for a year before being eligible to run for public office.  Unrealistic, I know.  However, you really do have to walk in these shoes to understand the problem.

I realize that we cannot force parents to be responsible for their children's education.  However, I feel like I am responsible for the education of my children.  This is the job of a parent. It is my job to find the best school placement, to track the progress of my child, to make sure the homework gets done, to make sure my child is supplied for school, and to make sure my child is fed, clothed, and has enough rest.  Someone once asked if my child attends a school in crisis.  No, my child does not, but if the newspaper claimed by test scores that my child did, I would know better.  I know when my children have excellent teachers (which is most of the time).  I know that I have one child who is quite smart but whose test scores would reflect badly on the school.  Yet I have seen steady progress and determined teachers continue to strive toward academic success for this child.  It would break my heart to see this school ripped apart over a test.

Now there.  I have vented, and there may be more to come as I have strong opinions on the things that are taking place in America's educational system.

update on Mom

Mom felt well enough yesterday (Thursday) to attend an event at church with the kids and me. She was unable to receive chemo today because her counts were too low.  Sometimes she likes the break, but mostly, she is not happy when her treatment is stalled.

Shiloh's 1st b-day 9/18/2010

We don't typically celebrate pet birthdays around here, but the first one is kind of special.  On September 18th, Shiloh turned a year old. My intention was to supply her with a much needed, new crate liner and a much needed bed that would hopefully encourage her to stay off the couches.  However, that day was rough, and the budget was tight. I decided to settle for a cookie.  A friend of mine stopped by with a deluxe crate, two nice crate liners, a nicer bed than I would have bought and two buckets of toys.  Unbeknownst to my friend, this was Shiloh's birthday. Wow!  I am sure my kids don't get that spoiled on their birthdays.  All of this stuff was hand-me-downs from my friend's sister who raised dogs until her death almost a year ago.  Shiloh and all of us were much appreciative of this shower of cool stuff.

So after 10 months or so of life with Shiloh, this is where we stand.  She is a sweet, affectionate dog who loves her family (so much so that we have to entice her to go outside unless she is desperate to take care of business).  Shiloh still has some destructive habits, but that is to be expected at this age.  She still jumps on people, so we are constantly working on that.  Unfortunately, that means that she is always crated when we have people over.  The good news is that she loves her crate.  When we held Mom's party, we crated Shiloh in the basement and never heard a peep from her.  Wow!  Other than that, I constantly try to keep her off the furniture which I think would be successful if Zach was on board on this habit.  If one person permits inappropriate behavior in a dog, everyone might as well permit it.

I think Shiloh will be the dog for which we hoped.  You know, the dog who excitedly greets the kids when they return from college and sits with them when the tears flow over all that teenage angst stuff.  She is definitely a counter and table surfer and does occasionally drink from the toilet -those were the two things I insisted I would not have in our next dog when we were searching.  sigh

bubbling over

Many posts ago, I revealed that my heart is heavily guarded in regard to the suffering in my life, and therefore I am sharing just the facts.  This post may include a bit more than the facts, but this one is for me, a reminder of the truth to which I must cling.
The update:
Mom is weak.  She planned to join us for a special event at church tonight and cannot keep her eyes open long enough to do it.  She is also struggling with shortness of breath for which we have no explanation.  Is all of this a by-product of chemo, or is it something else?  We just don't know.  She has had a CT scan to rule out a blood clot, and they found nothing.

The work issue
Work is rough.  There is a heaviness, a desire to fight, and complete indignation at the injustice of this situation.  It is all-consuming and impacts the rest of my co-workers and myself.  I leave work every single day fighting the heaviness of this very uncertain future.  I must say that I don't have enough left in me to fight the heaviness too hard.  It just continues to rest on me.

Right now, I am trying to hang on to one truth.  God works all things to the good of those who love him. Romans 8:28  This is a struggle because it appears that there is a condition involved (those who love him).  Is all this suffering a part of God's work to the good?  I must love Him to have all things work to this good.  So, that begs the questions, "do I love Him?"  "Do I love Him enough? " "Is it possible to love Him enough?"

I heard Steven Curtis Chapman say that this question comes to us during suffering...something to the effect of "don't you love me?" - a question directed at God, the God who is our dad.  I get this.  I want my way.  I know it, and it became very clear to me a few weeks ago.  Julia and Wyatt were melting down.  I was heading out for work, and Andy was stopping by home after work to scoop up our little people for what would be the 3rd of four games they had to attend for Zach and Savvy that week.  They were done with the games and the tantrums were reminiscent of terrible twos.  Andy was livid and demanding proper behavior.  I, on the other hand, was sympathetic.  Why?  you might ask.  I mean, really, 6 and 7 year olds throwing tantrums typical of two year olds, surely I should expect more!  Well, I was sympathetic for two reasons.  1.  I felt like our expectations were too high.  These two trudge along to activities without complaint most of the time, and this time it was the third such event of that week, and Julia, in particular, was very unhappy that I had one hour between jobs with my little people.  2.  I wanted to do the same thing.  I wanted to throw myself on floor and throw a tantrum and cry out to God asking why my mom can't be well, but that would be childish, right? 

In light of all this, I have decided today that I must find a way to cling to Romans 8:28 and to Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future. A hard thing to do when so much seems to be falling apart, but I will try.

Happy 60th Birthday, Mom!

My mom turns 60 on Tuesday, October 5th.  In less than one week's time, we managed to pull off coordinating a party to celebrate on Friday, October 1st.  We told her on Thursday that we would be celebrating her birthday at my house on Friday, but we did not mention that we were inviting friends and extended family members.  Unfortunately, my dad, the worry wart, spilled the beans when they were on their way to the party.  He apparently worried all week about whether we would have enough food for everyone and what we would do about seating, as very few people have homes where they can seat 40 people.  After he made Mom mad by ruining the surprise, he had a good time himself and told her the next morning that she should not have been so worried. UGH!  Yes, she should receive sainthood just for putting up with him for 41+ years.  Despite her anger with Dad, she loved the party. 

We served barbecue (courtesy of Jonathan and Danielle) with sides of hash brown casserole (courtesy of Tara), green beans, baked beans, California Cole slaw and chips.  Cupcakes and ice cream were on hand for dessert.  YUMMY!  We did have plenty of food.  Tessa took care of more details than I can count. 

We kicked off the night with prayer and singing "Happy Birthday."

This is a former neighbor.  Barbara's daughter, Stacey, and I grew up together, and her son Patrick grew up with Jonathan. 

These are mom's nurse friends.

my Uncle Jack (mom's brother) and Aunt Janie

                                                 Mom and Tiffany

Dad and Pat (former neighbor - Barbara's husband)

Patrick, Nicole, Jacob, and Kaleigh

Karlee and Stacey

Scott (Stacey's husband)

Tara

Andy (Julia took most of the pictures, so the perspective is mostly looking up)

Jonathan

Kaleigh, Jacob, Jordan, Savannah, Wyatt, and Julia

Zach

Mom's best friend, Kim

Eric is married to my cousin, Susie

Lesley is Eric's and Susie's daughter and the same age as Julia.  She and Savannah had a good time again.

Susie and Tiffany

Joshua has been sick, and it shows in this picture.

Mom and Uncle Jack

Regan

I am so grateful that all worked out and that Mom had a great time and felt good enough to enjoy it.  Of course, I am most grateful for such a great mom!