Nothing to Prove

Just over a year ago we watched Somewhere Between which is a documentary that follows four Chinese girls who were adopted into American families.  A few things really struck my heart in that movie.  I remember gasping as one girl is told in a room full of people that it was too late to abort her when her parents learned that she was a girl.  My heart really broke over one of the other girls who lives her life with this internal drive as if she has to prove that her life is valuable.  Inside my head I was screaming, she has nothing to prove!!! She is not defined by the circumstances of her early life over which she had no control.

A few months ago, I stumbled upon the blog of an adult adoptee.  She shares how she has always been driven.  She had to have straight 'A's.  She has always felt the need to prove her worth.  Adoptee after adoptee commented on her blog about their own struggles to do the same.

Meanwhile, I am raising these kids who seem healthy and content.  We have worked hard to promote emotional well-being, and I think things are going well.  Then little things capture my attention.  These types of comments:

1. My report card is not worthy of the fridge - there's an A- on it.
2.  I don't want to swim that stroke.  I can't be successful at it.
3. I can't enter that piece in the fair.  It has some imperfections.
4. Will you be mad if I get disqualified in this event?

I come home from work to find that one child has spent most of the day watching videos of the breaststroke fearing a DQ in the meet that night.  I have one child constantly offering to help - the good child thing.

Maybe, just maybe, the adult adoptee and the girl in the documentary are born perfectionists.  Maybe adoption somehow magnified that.  I don't know, but I do know that these kids under my roof are wonderfully made in the image of their God, and they are valuable whether or not they make a 4.0 or outrace everyone in their age group at a swim meet, or just get lazy on occasion.  They faced huge rejection early in life, but they are loved beyond measure and loved no less than their siblings who happen to have a biological connection to their parents.

Yes, we want our kids to be hardworking.  We ask for their best effort, but we don't want them to somehow be caught in a trap of trying to prove they are worthy of having a life.

Whatever the case, I find myself making an effort to say "you will still be loved the same regardless of how you do" when the nerves are high over a swim team event that is supposed to be fun or an attempt at something new fails.  I don't want to use the blog to make my children poster children for adoption. Nor do I wish to share their struggles as they will be adults one day and don't need to live down something mom shared that she should not have, but if this helps another family that may just need to say to a child, "you have nothing to prove," then maybe we all win.

The Little Couple and Adoption

Did you watch the season premiere of The Little Couple on TLC?

Jen and Bill traveled to India to adopt their beautiful daughter.  I have not really followed this couple though I've caught enough episodes to know they struggled with infertility and that Jen is a neat freak. I watched the adoption journey to Will because that vicarious journey to China brings back such fond memories for me.

I did tune in last night to watch the journey to India and was struck by two things in that episode.  Zoey reminded me of Julia.  Her pain of separation from all that she knew was immediate and intense.  My heart broke for her.  Adoption has been tugging at my heart lately, and I watched Zoey suffer and thought I could not do that again.  It is so hard.

However, Bill said something at the end of the episode that struck me.  He said, "These are our children.  We pursued them."  That reminded me of this post from over three years ago:

Pursued

It all comes back full circle, and it is amazing that one little word is a reminder that there is beauty in the story of adoption.  Yes, it starts off painfully, but what God does with that is amazing.  I still smile over simple things like greeting Wyatt in the carpool line at the end of a school day or laughing at Julia's silly confidence.  It is an amazing journey, and God-willing, this family will take it again.

Somewhere Between

When the adoption groups started promoting Somewhere Between, I had little interest in it.  This documentary follows four teenagers who were adopted from China by American families as they struggle with coming of age and reconciling their Chinese roots with their American lives.  However, the trailer drew me in.

I saw the movie this week and plan to buy my own copy.  Our guide for Wyatt's adoption plays a role in an adoption that takes place in the movie and does the translation work for one of the adoptees when she returns to China.  The adoption places a little girl from Wyatt's orphanage into a family, so the setting, even the hotel, was all familiar.

The movie certainly provokes some contemplation.  At times my heart ripped a bit.  When the guide explains in front of a child who has located her birth family that they could not get an abortion because the pregnancy was too advanced, I winced.  While the girls all enjoy active and involved lives, one of them really pushes herself and struggles with who she is.  I sat there stunned when a man who wants international adoption banned expressed to one of the girls that her history was likely based on lies and that China probably placed girls for adoption internationally who were not orphans.  The known stories of two of these girls both prove that to be false but also prove that being an orphan is complicated.  Families who place their children in busy places in China in hopes that they will be found do so after difficult choices and often without the approval of the whole family.

I am not naive enough to think that some of these girls weren't stolen whether by a family member trying to protect the family from another mouth to feed or by someone corrupt.  However, the vast majority of orphans from China have truly been orphans. Therefore, I clearly cannot support banning international adoption and denying children the love of a family.  That said, effort must be taken to be sure that corruption is not lining pockets and encouraging child trafficking.  Worldwide, we have to be diligent to protect our most vulnerable people.

Another painful aspect of the movie revolved around the profound sense of loss. A Chinese father who has done well with his meager income in raising his beautiful family expresses without words the love he never lost for the daughter who was lost but then was found, and that part of the film is very moving.

Adoption starts with devastating loss.  I tell people all the time that adoption is a challenge from the paperwork and gathering funds right up to adjusting as a family, and I am sure that the identity building in adolescence brings new challenges for children who were adopted.

I love these girls who opened themselves up in such a tender way during a very precious time of their lives.  

In the end I decided to purchase the movie.  There was a certain sadness that came from watching it.  I long to return to China for another adoption, maybe.  However, I certainly want to return for a heritage tour.  That longing really escalated from seeing the movie. I certainly recommend it to anyone who has been through this process or is considering it.

The Cookie Jar

This came across an adoption yahoo group today- a very nice analogy of the hardship of learning to transition from orphan to much loved child.

The Cookie Jar

My Own

I am not a proponent of the politically correct movement. For the most part, I think it divides us more than it unites us.  However, there is one term that I wish to correct on behalf of adoptive children.

Lately, I have heard a few conversations that go something like this:
"Do you know the such and such family?  They do so and so, and they have three children; one adopted and two of "their own."  Now I know the intention is to identify the children as adopted or biological in relation to the parents. Truly I have never heard this stated with any ill intent.  I do not correct people on this or even get upset though it does make me cringe a bit.  I cringe because my four children are all "my own."  The sleepless nights when the fever wouldn't budge to medicine tells me so along with the countless times we reviewed spelling words and Bible memory verses together.  Those afternoons waiting in carpool and signed permission slips and teacher conferences, and a gazillion hugs and kisses all indicate that all four of them are my own.  The mountain of paperwork and fees and travel say my children are my own.  They bear the same last name as me and are my heirs.

I am thrilled that God chose to build my family through both biological means and adoption.  Both are beautiful. Adoption is an amazing journey. However, adoption is also painful.  It starts with loss and pain no matter how well it turns out.  I wondered often when John McCain ran for president how his family felt about the press that always referred to his children and then his adopted daughter as a separate child. How do young ears feel about this?  I know it is such a little thing, but sometimes little things really matter.

I am a Gentile by birth.  Much like my children I do not understand my own adoption into God's family, but I am confident that He calls me His own.  I am not somehow separate because of my adoption.

So if you ask me how many children I have,  my answer is simple.  I have four.  I do not qualify how they came to be my children.  If we get to know each other better or if you meet them, you will know.  Regardless of how they came to be a part of my family, they are my own.

Do you know anyone considering adopting an older child? My two cents.

We were recently approached by our adoption agency to answer some questions about adopting older children.  I will not go through every question and post it here, but I will share most of what I said when asked for the bottom line.  They are compiling these answers for families considering adopting older children.

 What would you tell a family considering this path – what do you wish you had known or better prepared for?  What is the single most important thing you would want to tell a family about adopting an older child?

I always tell families to expect adoption to be a challenge.  Your child will likely appreciate your efforts on their behalf.  However, they are not going to come home thanking you for taking them from the only culture and the only people they have ever known.  Some of their behavior will shock and embarrass you (like the time Wyatt ran his hand along the butt of a customer in a grocery store).  

There will be surprises, some good, some not so good.  

You have to be a team.  Both parents have to be ready and willing to accept the challenge.

Your child will likely lie and will likely exhibit behavior that you have never allowed in your home.  You have to pick your battles and try to think the way your child would think remembering they have a different history than your other children.  Sometimes the situation calls for more grace than discipline, and at least one parent needs to realize that, and the other parent needs to be willing to hear that. 

Prepare your other children.  We made it very clear to our other children that we were walking into the unknown and that this child could be destructive. Your other children may want to put things that are particularly special to them in a safe place temporarily.  While this was not much of an issue with Wyatt, it does happen with older kids.  We warned our kids that things may not be smooth for a while.  It takes time to feel like you are part of a family.  

Talk to other parents who have done this.  Join the yahoo groups.  If you have examples of what other families have experienced, think through your plan to handle those things.

One other thing that may come up for your children is racial slurs.  Teach your children how to handle them.  A hateful Asian joke was recently shared with my daughter at school, and she simply stated, "do you realize that I have two Asian siblings?"  The jokester got the point, and she did not have to be overly confrontational or nasty.

Saying no is necessary.  Do not give in to everything your child wants. Be reasonable.

Food is the way to an orphan's heart. Pick up some favorite snacks while in the country and make sure to keep snacks available at all times.  If you have a market where you can get food from the original country, go often.

Put pictures of your new child up around your home as soon as possible.  Our son was very anxious for us to have his pictures in frames along with our other kids.

Have a sense of humor.  You will need it.

This is not for everyone.  Even if you get the fairy tale, do not pressure other families to follow your lead.  If they need encouragement, give it, but do not try and push adoption on anyone who is not open to it.  We have consciously decided that our adopted and biological children are simply our children.  We do not make them poster children for adoption.

You have to be laid back.  If you try to control everything, you will set yourself up for failure.  

It is worth it.  I catch my breath over the simplest of things.  A trip to play miniature golf or to a museum or a walk through the neighborhood with the dog, wearing a favorite t-shirt until Mom has to beg you to let her wash it may be things my kids would have missed in an orphanage.  Even school may not have been available.  In exchange, I get to watch them grow and develop, build meaningful relationships, get lots of hugs, and tons of joy.  I would absolutely do it again.  My entire extended family has fallen in love with our adopted children.  It has opened their eyes and desires to adoption.

Pursued

Today was one of those days when the stress of life just hit.  School starts on Wednesday for three of our kids, and preparation for school brings lots of expense.  Typically we have extra money for uniforms and supplies in August, but not this year so we have the financial stress and the stress that summer ends a week earlier.  We really cherish our summers and feel like we never do everything we planned to do.  There is always the friend that we never invited for a playdate or the activity we didn't get to, the book for school that wasn't read, or the reading program that wasn't finished (oops).  All of it just hit me today though I have friends in much more stressful situations.  However, I opened my devotion for today, and it was just one of those thought provoking devotions.  I just had to share a small snippet of it in my online family journal.

I am working through Beth Moore's Believing God devotional journal.  I completed her Believing God  Bible study while waiting for Julia, and I believe it is my favorite Bible study to date.  I would love to walk through it again with a group of ladies.  In today's devotion, Beth talks about how God sees us and how hard it is for us to see ourselves as He does.  This has come up in a couple of places lately which is always a little nudge that God has something to say on the topic.  Anyway, on page 64, she has several statements to which the reader is to respond:

You are blessed--what does that mean to you?
You are chosen
You are Adopted
You are Favored
You are Redeemed
You are Forgiven

The question on which I want to focus is, "you are adopted--what does that mean to you?"  I am an adoptive mom.  I know the right answer.  The scripture tells us that we are adopted as heirs to the kingdom, the siblings of Christ.  Our savior was adopted by his earthly father, and adoption gives parents to the lonely.  In the past my answer would have been some combination of these things, but today, one word came to mind.  What does adoption mean to me?  It means He pursues me.  I have been on the adoption journey.  I know what adoption means.  It is a pursuit, a very strong pursuit of the person who will be your child.  I think it is very appropriate to say that if I am adopted, I am pursued.  What a cool God we serve!

You just don't respnd to your children...

     I took Julia shopping for an Easter dress for church last weekend.  Dressing my girls while they are young enough to let me is a bad habit of mine.  I still had a couple of perfectly suitable dresses from when Savannah was little hanging in the closet, but Julia did not like them, and I actually wanted to see something new myself.  Keeping them was a mistake as someone else surely could have benefited from them.  I have not bought new Easter clothes for the kids for the last two years and really wanted to have them dress nicely for church for a change this year.  So off Julia and I went to find a simple, inexpensive Easter dress. Julia and I have different tastes and disagreed on the proper Easter attire for church.  Julia had leggings and long t-shirts trimmed in tulle in mind.  I was thinking of a simple dress.  When we were clearly not close to an agreement and starting to leave the second store, Julia hit me with this comment, "you just do not respond to your children."  "Excuse me?"  I replied.  She followed that with, "you just do not respond to your children the way a mother should."  Now this is clearly a disrespectful statement, but you simply have to understand Julia.  She says such things with such great delivery that correcting her is not an option.  You are simply laughing too hard to do it.   In the end we compromised.  I bought the outfit pictured here and a dress along with a few other things that I did not budget for this outing -ouch!  Julia got to wear her choice to church last weekend, and she has a simple white sundress for Easter.

This has been a rough week for our family.  Shiloh was sick for two days...messy sick, and Andy is dealing with a demanding situation at work requiring looooong workdays and lots of stress.  He was on call from Christmas until New Year's and will be on call Easter weekend as well.  Julia, however, had much to look forward to this week.  Her school blossomed the cross on Wednesday.  Unfortunately, Andy could not be there because of his work.  I was going to try and surprise her, but I was too busy at work myself to leave that day.  In addition to this special school tradition, Julia was also going to have grandparents day at school.  Grandparents day is exclusively a kindergarten event at this school and a very big deal.  Julia has anxiously anticipated this for weeks.  Andy's mom came in last night to attend grandparents day and just as it was the last time she visited, Andy was on call and working on the laptop and phone for a good portion of his visit.  Julia went with my mother-in-law to school and met my parents there.  They all had a fabulous time with a hyper Julia, and it seems that the grandparents all forgot their cameras.  What?!! Cameras or not, this is just another one of those times when I remember that if we hadn't followed God's lead and stepped out of the boat, somewhere in China a little girl would grow up without a family.  It might not have been Julia, but there are still too many orphans in this world. 

One more note...as I typed this entry Julia was looking over my shoulder and trying to read as I typed.  She kept asking me to read it to her, and I ignored her in my state of concentration, so she asked me: "Are you going to answer me like a polite woman should?!" 

When we brought Julia home from China, I used to say, "she thinks life is a party and she is the guest of honor."  hmm, has anything changed?

I now have a saying for Wyatt in regard to his recent behavior at school, "why learn when you can talk?"  -yes, that was  another issue this week, I won't whine about all the details of this rough, rough week because we will make it, spring break is right around the corner

longing

Will I ever see a Chinese toddler without longing to return to adopt again? That longing is especially strong right now as I miss the wonder of living with a toddler.

It happened this week - Wyatt brought home the assignment that freaks out most adoptive parents..

I, however, would not be intimidated by this assignment. If you followed our journey, then you know that I claimed Galatians 5:29 over Wyatt...If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise. I explained in my letter to Wyatt on his website that this verse is an encouragement for him to embrace his heritage: both his Chinese and American heritage.

Therefore, when I read the assignment and learned we were to do a timeline of Wyatt's life with a significant event from each year, I was ready to meet that challenge head on. Sure, we have five full years of unknowns, but with a little creativity, Wyatt does not have to be set apart from his classmates.We were blessed to bring Wyatt home from an orphanage where his picture was taken regularly. We have over 250 pictures depicting Wyatt's life in China. We are still working on the translations that go with the pictures, but this gives us a start. Wyatt loves to see himself in pictures and to have those pictures in his hands, so we bordered his poster with pictures of his life in China and in America. Some events in our family impacted Wyatt whether or not he realizes it, so I listed those events regardless of his awareness of them. Honestly, what seven year old remembers all the significant events of his life?

2002 - Wyatt is born in Hefei, Anhui, China and named Lu Han Jun

2003 - since Wyatt was born so late in 2002, I skipped this year on the timeline

2004- Our family started pursuing our first adoption, and our daughter was born in China. Why is this significant in Wyatt's life? Obviously, he got a sister and best friend out of the deal, but I am also convinced that his adoption would have never happened without Julia's. Her adoption paved our path to Wyatt.

2005- Our adoption of Julia was completed.

2006-Wyatt moved to the Sunbeam Village. He attended preschool in China.

2007- We saw Wyatt's picture for the first time. The wheels were turning toward a family for this precious little guy.

2008 -What a year! I couldn't fit it all on the poster, so I left it with our travel to China and that Wyatt became a citizen of America this year.

2009 - Wyatt's family brought home a puppy.

Yep, his poster is a little bit of the HUGE and the small that makes a life.

Moon Festival October 4th, 2009

Our local Families With Children from China chapter hosts a Moon Festival celebration every fall. We got a rough start on this Sunday, but we had a great time celebrating together at a local farm.




Our adventure started with a hay ride to the pumpkin patch.

Julia likes this one.

This is definitely the one. I will explain the bunny ears later.

Savannah takes a turn posing with our find.

I know what you are thinking, and the answer is 38... and this explains the bunny ears. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?

The choice has been made, but Wyatt wants a picture of this one. He is obedient and does not pull it from the vine.

Is this Cinderella? She keeps sitting on the pumpkins.

The size of a tractor wheel impresses this city girl.

We are heading into the corn maze. Maybe this doesn't surprise you, but I am from the city, and hanging tobacco smells awful. Gag!

This is a nice corn maze.
We still like each other.

I have my pride, so I am not posting the three or four attempts to get this shot.

I think they are done with the picture taking. Too bad for them. I am not finished yet.
-or "too bad, too sad" as Wyatt would say

It would be sad to miss these shots, wouldn't it?

Craft time

Zach pitches in to put paper lanterns together for the craft.

The finished product

free time!
Actually we were supposed to be getting ready to release helium balloons, but since our little people lost the balloons to the high ceiling of the barn, we played instead.

That little guy almost knocked Zach off of this...so funny. He caught Zach off guard and almost toppled him.

the lantern parade

an attempt to capture the group

sometimes there is no explanation for Wyatt

can't miss this shot

Rachel, Julia, and Annika. Rachel and Julia are in AHG together, and Rachel's mom is the leader. Annika and Julia attend school together, but they are not in the same class. Rachel and Annika are friends.

the barn at sunset

sunset on the pond....don't miss my previous post with this same setting just a little while later

"Buddies" I ran to try and catch them and get this shot. He still often calls her Xiao Bai "Shall By" which means "fair, little baby" (her orphanage nickname, and the name we called her while in China)

It's time to pack up and head home. This has to be one of the best days I've had in a while.

something to make me smile

Every year I send a photo album to Julia's orphanage containing pictures taken over the last year. I have never had any way of knowing whether or not they were received. This year, I asked a family who was traveling to get their daughter from the same orphanage to take the album. I learned today that the orphanage staff told them that I send albums every year and that they love getting them. This news made my day! I have been smiling all day since I learned that.

I did also send an album to Wyatt's orphanage this year, but I could not find a family to take it, so it was mailed.

Allie

One of our travel mates on our trip to China for Wyatt was Allie. She brought along two of her boys who were just great kids, and we enjoyed them very much. Unfortunately, we were only together in Beijing. When our groups split, we went different directions, and we saw each other only briefly in Guangzhou. Anyway, Allie is doing the coolest thing right now. She is blogging about her trip last year. Our trip blog is still up on Wyatt's sight, but I am having so much fun reading Allie's perspective that I thought I would share the link with you. I will be asking permission or forgiveness tonight :)

http://bestwicksadopting.blogspot.com/ - and a really cool thing is that Allie got to see the terra cotta warriors - something I do so hope to see someday

perspective

Last night we celebrated two Gotcha days by joining our local Families with Chinese Children group at a Chinese buffet. After we made our way home, we finally pulled out the Gotcha day gifts we purchased in China for the kids. We let Julia sort through her gifts to choose the one she wanted, and Andy chose Wyatt's gift. Wyatt received this drum. Julia got her drum like this last year. It has the years of the Chinese Zodiac on one side and the appropriate symbol to match on the other side. Wyatt's drum has a horse on it because he was born in the year of the horse. Julia's has a monkey (chuckling here) because she was born in the year of the monkey - quite appropriate.

Julia chose this drum, and wow, this little thing produces a nice sound.

Jordan, a shop owner in Guangzhou did the writing on Julia's drum (Wyatt has one to, also done by Jordan). This is another red thread in Julia's adoption. The number 7 was all over her adoption, but pearls were as well. I think Jordan just comes up with stuff on the spot to put on the things on which he does calligraphy. He chose the pearl as one of Julia's symbols, and that happens to be her birthstone, and while in China to adopt her, we spent our entire trip staying at a hotel on the Pearl River.

I think most of you know the red thread story, but if you don't, it is a Chinese proverb that states that a red thread connects those people who are destined to meet. It may tangle, but it never breaks. In the adoption community, many people call the pieces that pull together their relationship with their children red threads. In our house we call them God's markers and red threads.

The rest of this post is just ramblings on something that was on my mind yesterday. Read on if you like.

An interesting take on this:

Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, "But we knew nothing about this,": does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Doe not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done? Proverbs 24:11-12

Yesterday as I was searching for the scripture that was a turning point in our decision about Wyatt, I came across the above scripture. This is the way it struck me yesterday. Wyatt was not being led to death. This scripture indicates that if you can stop someone from being led to death, and you do nothing then God will hold you responsible. However, on second thought, maybe on some level Wyatt was being led to the second death. He knew nothing of Christ when he came to us and still struggles to understand the basics of our faith. If he had been raised in China, maybe he would have come to know Christ, but most likely, he would not have.

What now do we do with this? Orphans are found all over the world. They are often the forgotten and most vulnerable. I am always tickled by those who say to me, "you have done your part for the orphans" --as if God has some quota that we met, or worse is the implication that we are doing ongoing work for the orphans because we adopted two of them. On the contrary, our work for the orphans ended on the day these adoptions were finalized because at that point, our children were no longer orphans. Yet I firmly believe that the command to help the orphans is an ongoing command, so we still have to find our role in doing that. Will this family adopt again? Our hearts are open to that road, but our finances are screaming "NO." However, that does not deter us. We will walk through the doors God opens. It is not easy, and sometimes we think we are crazy with the schedules we keep and the needs that must be met, but we were never called to a leisurely life, and now this scripture weighs on my mind. What exactly does it mean to know there is a need and to not meet it? This does not necessarily mean adoption because as I pointed out, adoption ends the orphan status. We may need to sponsor an orphan or encourage families through the process or take mission trips to love on orphans. ...much to think about

Happy Gotcha Day Wyatt!

On May 24th, 2007, we got a surprise phone call from our agency. They wanted to ask if we would be interested in a four year old boy. We had not completed our dossier and were quite surprised to get this call as we expected to finish the dossier and then wait 8-12 months for a referral. I cautioned them that we still had lots of work to do on that dossier.


I took down the information, and Andy and I decided to pray about it over that night to determine where we thought God was leading us. Deniece e-mailed pictures, but we decided that we would make a decision before opening the e-mail as we did not want the appearance of this boy to impact our decision. There was much to consider as he was older than Julia, and we never intended to go out of birth order, and his special need was a "maybe" for us, not one of the two definites that we had listed.


So we searched the scriptures, and we prayed. For a while we really didn't feel any clear direction, but this verse jumped out: "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." Proverbs 24:3-4 When I read the verse, my immediate thought was "what rare and beautiful treasures fill my home?" My immediate next thought was "my children of course!" We decided by the next morning that this little boy had a place in our home.
Of course there were other markers as well. Wyatt's birthday is six months after Julia's just as Zachary's is six months after Savannah's. Zach and Wyatt both have birthdays on the 17th of their birth months. Wyatt would have been Savannah's name if she had been a boy. We chose it long ago, and the meaning matches his Chinese name. Wyatt means "brave" or "little warrior" while Jun (Wyatt's middle name in China) means "soldier" or "brave."
We opened our e-mail very early in the morning on May 25th as everyone was preparing for work and school. These are the precious pictures found there. I thought he was cuter than I could have imagined.

It took months to finish our dossier, a process riddled with mistakes and redos. By December as a firm deadline to have it in China loomed, I thought that we may not make it. No, this does not get easier the second time around. Adoption is definitely a work of love. Having gone both routes, pregnancies are much easier :)

It was months before I joined any yahoo groups because I just couldn't believe this would all work out and even longer before I sent a care package. I found this picture on the yahoo group for Wyatt's orphanage, and it is my favorite picture found this way. On the right you can see Wyatt's friend Haley. She came home just a few months behind him, and I remember the day he sat on my lap and sobbed while looking at pictures of her with her new family. His English was not strong enough at that point to express what he was thinking, but he was clearly concerned about her well-being. I do believe that Julia is so important to him because she was his surrogate Haley when he first arrived at home.

As it turned out, my friend Katherine (a parent from Julia's adoption group) had a daughter from Wyatt's orphanage, and friends of hers were traveling back to China on a heritage tour in June of 2007. They got this picture along with several others for me while they were there.

Gotcha!!

Our travel group. We got to know two very special families in Hefei, and it would have been a loooooong time there if not for the fun we had getting to know the Miracles and the Millikens.

Aurora was a huge help. I can't even imagine what it must be like to suddenly have a family after years of living without one. I am sure it is exciting and very scary especially when you have a language barrier. We were out one day in Hefei with the Millikens, and we had to get back to the hotel to go and visit the orphanage. We had let Wyatt share a cab with the Millikens as we headed out that day, but he had to come back with us. That separation from Aurora broke his heart. He silently cried on the way back. We shared a meal at KFC with them later, and he made it very clear that Aurora was to sit next to him. She was such a good sport about it.

The hardest part of going to China to get Wyatt was leaving the other three behind. We desperately wanted to take them, but the funding was not there.

Here we are, a family of six!

Each of the kids have a Chinese shirt stating their place in the family. Zach's "big brother", Savannah's "big sister," Wyatt "little brother", and Julia "little sister."

Wyatt also got a trip to the beach courtesy of Grandma and Grandpa after he got home.

Here he is just a month ago. He likes it here.

This photo was taken for our post-placement report due this month.









I took some 558 pictures in China last year. I took about 9 rolls of film on our trip to see Julia. It was so hard to choose pictures for this post, and I think I went overboard. Of course lots more pictures are on Wyatt's site, and you are welcome to view albums from both of our trips on Snapfish if you e-mail me privately.

so many memories - I could write a book, I think