Somewhere Between

When the adoption groups started promoting Somewhere Between, I had little interest in it.  This documentary follows four teenagers who were adopted from China by American families as they struggle with coming of age and reconciling their Chinese roots with their American lives.  However, the trailer drew me in.

I saw the movie this week and plan to buy my own copy.  Our guide for Wyatt's adoption plays a role in an adoption that takes place in the movie and does the translation work for one of the adoptees when she returns to China.  The adoption places a little girl from Wyatt's orphanage into a family, so the setting, even the hotel, was all familiar.

The movie certainly provokes some contemplation.  At times my heart ripped a bit.  When the guide explains in front of a child who has located her birth family that they could not get an abortion because the pregnancy was too advanced, I winced.  While the girls all enjoy active and involved lives, one of them really pushes herself and struggles with who she is.  I sat there stunned when a man who wants international adoption banned expressed to one of the girls that her history was likely based on lies and that China probably placed girls for adoption internationally who were not orphans.  The known stories of two of these girls both prove that to be false but also prove that being an orphan is complicated.  Families who place their children in busy places in China in hopes that they will be found do so after difficult choices and often without the approval of the whole family.

I am not naive enough to think that some of these girls weren't stolen whether by a family member trying to protect the family from another mouth to feed or by someone corrupt.  However, the vast majority of orphans from China have truly been orphans. Therefore, I clearly cannot support banning international adoption and denying children the love of a family.  That said, effort must be taken to be sure that corruption is not lining pockets and encouraging child trafficking.  Worldwide, we have to be diligent to protect our most vulnerable people.

Another painful aspect of the movie revolved around the profound sense of loss. A Chinese father who has done well with his meager income in raising his beautiful family expresses without words the love he never lost for the daughter who was lost but then was found, and that part of the film is very moving.

Adoption starts with devastating loss.  I tell people all the time that adoption is a challenge from the paperwork and gathering funds right up to adjusting as a family, and I am sure that the identity building in adolescence brings new challenges for children who were adopted.

I love these girls who opened themselves up in such a tender way during a very precious time of their lives.  

In the end I decided to purchase the movie.  There was a certain sadness that came from watching it.  I long to return to China for another adoption, maybe.  However, I certainly want to return for a heritage tour.  That longing really escalated from seeing the movie. I certainly recommend it to anyone who has been through this process or is considering it.