The Worry/Fiscal Cliff

I have a confession to make.  Today, on the first day of the new year when new hopes for blessings should be on our minds, I awoke instead to worry. I knew throughout the holidays that the fiscal cliff loomed ahead, and I thought it might involve a very hard hit to our family. However, a few weeks ago, Andy's employer laid out the real deal.  He was given the exact impact that higher taxes would have on his income.  Through those figures I was able to determine an approximate amount of the hit on my income.  This would be life changing.  I awoke this morning trying to wrap my mind around how to live with drastically reduced salaries (all raises for the last few years and upcoming year gone and then some).We then have to factor in the reality that milk prices are set to double and wheat is expected to increase by 60%.  So my thoughts started the new year with these possibilities to address the situation.

• Savannah must decide to either get a job so that she can continue to play field hockey which would also mean dropping her honor's classes so that she could manage more demands on her time or give up field hockey.  The McDonalds within walking distance of our house hires 14 year olds, so a job is doable.
• Zach must pick up more shifts in order to continue football and track.  He must pick up the high prices of both sports.
• We should consider a cheaper school choice for Julia and possibly for Savannah too.
• The kids need to take their lunches to school, and the majority of our diet needs to be beans and rice (I actually do not like beans at all, and Julia and Savannah might actually starve on this diet).
• All camps and sports must go.  
• I must learn how to be one of those extreme coupon people.
• I may need a second job.
• Any debt on which we have been paying aggressively in our attempt to be out of debt in 5.5 years would have to be dropped back to minimum payments.

In other words, what few extras we enjoy would be gone.  I get that this is a first world problem.  I get that I feel entitled.  The reality is that I do feel that with two jobs that require  college degrees combined with the fact that I never had the luxury of being a stay at home mom, and at various times in our marriage, one of us has held two jobs that the few extras we enjoy should be something we can hang onto.

We live a fairly frugal life.  I rarely buy anything that is not on sale or for which I don't have a coupon.  I love shopping but do it rarely and am more of a window shopper than a buyer.  I rarely make impulse purchases. Movies and dinners out are very rare treats.  The whole family eats out at a decent restaurant once a year on vacation.  Our vacations are only possible because we share the lodging expense with 16 people and cook our own meals.  

I confess that while these thoughts churned in my head, I was also very angry.  I am angry with a congress that votes to raise their pay while demanding that I pay more in taxes. Do employees of businesses and non-profits that are operating with a deficit get pay raises?  Does their pay raise mean that they won't have homes in disrepair because they can't afford to fix them?  Without it, would their children turn in their soccer jerseys and cheerleading uniforms?  They have been fiscally irresponsible, why do I have to pay heavily for that?

What about those for whom this change will mean more than giving up some extras?  I know single moms and families with young children for whom this will be more than devastating.

I couldn't help but think that God lays out a flat 10% that He expects us to give on our gross income.  While I do believe that He expects more from those of us who have been given more, I also know that with our 10%, He can take care of us as promised and provide for the widows and orphans.  Welfare is the job of the church, not the government, and if we had done our part, the government might not be in its current position.

I fought to get these thoughts under control and to remember that I am not to worry and to take all my prayers and petitions to God.  

I decided to enjoy my Christmas tree one last time this season, and I sat on the couch in front of it and opened my current Bible study.  I have been working on The Frazzled Female by Cindi Wood for months.  I had to set it aside for several weeks because even the Bible study frazzled me, and I took a break.  Today, however, I was directed to read Psalm 27, and that was truly a gift.

I loved reading that he will keep me safe in His dwelling - verse 5.

He will hide me in shelter and set me high above the problems challenging me - verse 5.

I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  verse 13

Finally, I am instructed to wait for the Lord, be strong, and take heart - verse 14

In the end we may have to do some or all of the things that played out in my mind in my fit of worry, and while change is painful, sometimes it is a good thing.  We will wait for the Lord to determine our path because He is bigger than the Fiscal Cliff.