Family Pictures - the pain is real, Y'all

A few months ago while searching for pictures for some graduation event, Savannah noted that we have not had a family portrait taken in a while.  I used to hold strongly to three extras beyond having a roof on our heads and food on the table: annual professional portraits for each of the kids, private school, and annual vacations.   Then the economy tanked, and our benefits were reduced and salaries became stagnant.  One by one we stopped each of those things on some level.

Savannah's comment made me realize that I was not the only one to whom these things matter.  We had a beach trip planned, so I started looking up photographers.  I made an affordable choice even though I liked the work of others better.  Outdoor sessions are always iffy.  We tried a few years ago to get professional shots on the beach only to have the session cancelled due to weather.  Clothing has to be considered.  You can't wear anything distracting, but I did not want to do something we've done before - white/khaki in particular.  When choosing clothing I had to consider what we already had in hopes that nothing or very little would need to be purchased.  It became increasingly clear that there was no way around that.  Then I had to carry clothes with me from shop to shop to make sure the colors matched.  I might add that I got some great bargains.  We already had the pants/shorts, so we only needed tops.  

We happened upon a sale where we made our first purchases: Savannah's blouse and Julia's dress.  I think I spent $20-25 total on those two items.  Wyatt was a tad harder.  I ordered a shirt online that did not work, so I tried again and had success and spent only about $6.  Andy's and Zach's shirts were steals at $1 each.  I splurged on myself.  I have really started liking the portofino blouses sold by Express over the last few months.  They wear very well, are flattering, and can be dressed up or down.  I watch for the best sales before buying, but in a time crunch for this, I ended up spending $45 on my blouse which was only about $5 off full retail price. $8 of that was for shipping because I could not find it locally in my size.  While I hated spending that much, I will get lots of wear out of it.  It's great for work, and I can always, always use more work clothes- blouses in particular.

So with clothing and photographer arranged, we headed to the beach.  

I get that it's vacation, so we want to waste little time on anything other than fun.  Family pictures are not fun, y'all. Repeat after me: Family pictures are not fun.  I don't care how relaxed your photographer is.  It's not easy to put a group of different personalities together and make this stuff happen.  We had a 30 minute session and left later than planned even after going in from the beach insanely early.  Our photographer beat us to the location - good thing because we had to change locations due to crowds.

Ask Wyatt how much fun he had driving to the beach with clothes hanging over his head because I ironed them all before we left and feared there would be no access to an iron at our beach accommodations.  Not fun.

That moment when you realize that your daughter should have removed her cell phone from her pocket when the session is over and the photos are in your possession.

When you realize that your baby is growing up, and Dad now has two striking beauties to protect.

When you can't get your oldest son to shave.  He has amazing eyes and an amazing smile, but I think it gets lost when he is not clean-shaven.  Family pictures are about being real and not controlling for me, so I have to choose my battles :)

How 'bout this?  I don't photograph well anyway.  My hair was cut just days before our session.  My haircuts are usually best two weeks past the cut, not four days after the cut.  I got the pictures and then realized that my lip was busted and swollen.  I dealt with that sore lip all week but did not realize it happened that day until I looked at the pictures and wondered why my smile was crooked in all of them.  Not fun.  It's also not fun to look at pictures and wish they would have just gotten a headshot of the group because you are not living in your perfect size 6 glorified body.  Liz Curtis Higgs says she's gonna be a size 6 in Heaven because everyone knows that is the perfect size.  I am with her.  Can I place an order for that?  I may even opt for a size 2 or a 4.

I do love the reflection in this picture.  That's kind of cool.

I wish I had been more aggressive.  I was posed awkwardly in the first family pictures she took (not posted here).  I knew it felt awkward and probably looked awkward, and it did.

I love this- my favorite from the session.

I love this too, just wish Andy had removed his sunglasses and that Zach was a bit less awkward.

Mission accomplished.  We ended up with a photo or two to treasure, and that's really what all the fuss and work is about - getting one good family picture that nobody hates.  Savannah hates one of my all-time family pictures.  She says it's a great shot of everyone except her.  I realize that she's right.  She was in middle school, and even as much as I love pictures, I think we could do everyone a favor by keeping middle schoolers out from in front of the lens.  They look great at the time, but after they grow up, you look back and realize that really it gets so much better :)  Take a look at your middle school pictures and see if you agree - unless you already destroyed them. (Mine may or may not have been destroyed).

For me the pain is much like that of many moms.  In addition to coordinating, nagging and all that stuff, I don't like the way I look.  I often say that I am the ugly duckling of my family.  I like to stay behind the camera instead of in front of it.  When I take pictures I am sensitive to that.  I try not to post pictures that I don't think flatter the subject.  

Truth: I have one family photo with my parents and siblings that I ever share.  I think it is a great shot of us even though I probably did not think that at the time.  We are all adults in that photo - past the awkward elementary grimaces, middle school weirdness and high school hair fails.  After going through this session, I wished we could get the whole family together for a portrait.  It's hard though.  After losing Mom and Tony, it will always feel like the portrait is incomplete.  However, I am beginning to realize that it is important even so.

Disclaimer: the pain of family photos where your youngest child is twelve does not match that of family photos with younger children.  Sure, we still had some distracted participants who had to be reigned in, but nobody ran off, had a tantrum, or starting throwing sand.  Even so, the pain is still there and still real.   More on pictures in my next couple of posts.