Processing

Warning: I haven't blogged much this swim season, so this recap of the season, and especially this last week, will be lengthy.  I am using the blog today to process my thoughts on an interesting season and on sports and parenting athletes in general.  It will be long, and there will be lots of pictures.  

2017 Swim and Dive Season

A little team history to start: Julia swims for a huge team.  What started as a big team some 20 years ago has grown into, well, a hurricane with 325 swimmers.  This team connects with each other like none I've ever seen before.  It's a true community.  The older kids show up for the younger kids at their quals to cheer for them.  The team has a list of team cheers that they do regularly.  It's a six week summer swim team in a city league, and for 15 years straight, this team sat atop the league.  We were unseated in 2015 and became runners up. We regained our championship title in 2016 and ended this season as runners up again.

A little bit about our coaches: My kids have experienced coaches whom I believe should be banned from coaching for the way they treat kids, okay coaches, and great and phenomenal coaches across several sports.  This team of coaches is phenomenal!  They not only are great swim coaches, but they are great life coaches (more on that later).  It is important to know before reading my thoughts further on this season that our coaches make a point of teaching the kids how to be gracious in defeat.  "You will get out of that pool and tip your hat to the opponent and congratulate the winning team."

Enough team history- onto the season.

Julia has loved summer swim in the past.  This year has been different.  Entering the teen years left her feeling like the team is less fun than it has been in the past.  Because she only swims in the summer, and her opponents are often year-round USA swimmers, she gets less and less competitive every year.  That puts us and her in a difficult spot.  Julia is competitive by nature, and her coach has pointed out to me numerous times that her potential in this sport is amazing. This has led to many discussions between Andy and me.  What would God have us do with this?  He has gifted her with athleticism.  Do we push her to pursue it when she's feeling burned out? Do we back off?  What is the right thing to do?  This year Julia commented many times that she thought this would be her last season.  When pressed, she expressed that it's competitive and no fun anymore.  Julia is willing to work hard for a sport.  She wants to compete, but she feels like, unless it is school, nothing in life is worth doing if there isn't some fun involved.  

This team is a super fun team, but Julia is caught in the age group where they are beyond the fun of seeing what they can do with swim and not yet to the fun the crazy teenagers get simply because they've earned more freedom.

Julia's season report card:

Julia's top three strokes are back, free, and butterfly.  The way the league works is that the kids work all season for times that will get them into quals.  The top 14 in each event advance to champs.  No athlete can swim in more than three individual events at champs.

50 back - 1st meet of the season: 43.34,  best time 41.18  finished 11th in champs holding her spot from quals with a PR (personal record)

50 fly 1st meet of season: 40.99, PR at quals with a 39.11, finished 6th at champs holding her spot from quals

50 free 1st meet of the season 36.17, best time 35.28, finished 12th at champs moving up two spots from her 14th place finish at quals and with a PR

100 IM She swam that once all season with a 1:33.07

50 breast 1st meet 54.48, best time 53:00

Julia was also part of the medley relay in champs.  That team was DQ'd, and I have to give it to these girls.  It was their first event, and they all rallied in spite of it and did well for the rest of the meet.

She also raced in the free relay.  Her team moved up from their 7th place seed to 5th place in the champs meet with a strong last race.

I chased a good shot of the butterfly for three meets.  I never expected to achieve it at the champs meet because of the crowds, but I got three!

Relay teams trying to rally each other and themselves after hearing the announcement that made it pretty clear we would not win this meet.

Julia got extra coaching on her starts and turns this year.

I love this pic from the dive pep rally.

Goofing off with a  friend at the dive pep rally.

Fly, baby girl, fly!!

coaching advice at dive champs

Quals: 

As I mentioned before, quals is split into two meets.  The older kids swim on Monday night of champs week, and the younger kids swim on Wednesday.  We hosted the older quals, and it was pretty standard stuff.

Our older kids showed up for the younger quals, and I immediately thought there might be a problem.  The older kids took up about 1/4th of the pool deck and were there to cheer for every swimmer on our team in every race where we had swimmers.  It was announced before the meet started that because the pool deck was small, parents needed to watch their events and then leave the pool deck. Um, that's a problem for a team that brought a cheering section.  I have mixed feelings on how this went.  I don't want any parent from any team to miss seeing their child swim, so I understand the frustration with having teammates on deck to cheer for the younger kids.  However, the parents were nasty to our kids.  Physically moving them, telling them to leave, basically stating they weren't welcome.  Our parents had to become a shield and actually engage in some altercations with parents from the other teams over this.  As Andy pointed out, "what are you hosting?"  Are you hosting a sporting event?  Some people love sports and will watch every race because they love the sport.  Or are you hosting an event for parents to watch their swimmers and nothing more?  If you are not equipped to host a sporting event, then don't call it one, and definitely don't host it!

Let me add that our kids do not boo other teams or kids.  

quals night - swim fast, ladies!!

A small part of the cheering section for younger quals.

Champs:

We came into champs hated by every other team.  For the teams that knew they could not take one of the top two spots, they cheered for our toughest opponent.  I am no pollyanna.  We have 325 kids on our team, and I am sure that we probably have some poor sportsmanship and meanness among that group.  Our team, however, is not characterized overall by that.  Again, we do not boo the other teams.  Our team has been booed every time they took the top spot at champs.  We are a loud force.  Parents and swimmers fill the stands and cheer for our swimmers.  Sportsmanship is not a characteristic of some of these other teams.  I offer a few examples of what we experienced at champs.

1. A parent approached two of our older kids as they were getting places to cheer the races and told them that we could not win this meet and that's all our team cares about.  She went on to say we were obnoxious and should not bother to cheer since winning is all we care about, and we and could not win this meet.  

Seriously? This is how an adult talks to kids?  She was apparently relentless and did not stop at a couple of short jabs..  Baiting them perhaps, trying to get a reaction out of them that she could call poor sportsmanship?  It did not work.  She happened to be talking to a very respectful and polite girl who simply told her that our team is not all about winning, and that we cheer for each other because we are family.

2. Andy timed for half of the meet and had to listen to opposing coaches call us cheaters, claim that we recruit kids and offer discounts to strong swimmers.  Um, where's my discount?  I am the parent of one of those strong swimmers, and we are swimming for a public pool, so any kid can join the team.  Some of the other teams only allow members of their neighborhoods to join.  If that puts them at a disadvantage, then they need to talk to their neighborhood association.  Andy did say that the coaches of the winning team were a class act. 

3. In an unprecedented move, the hosting team announced the team results right before the relays started.  Maybe that was always planned, but it certainly did not look good on them.  Here's why...

in years past scores were announced at halftime and at the end of the meet - not any other time. This announcement was made just prior to the last 10 events which were all relays, and our kids were lining up for the relays at that time.  The point spread between us and the winning team was great enough at that time for us to realize that we could not win the meet.  I witnessed in that moment the deflation on the faces of our relay teams.  Just because of the way we were being treated anyway that day, it seemed like a jab aimed at our team and an attempt to discourage our kids from swimming their best in their last races.  It almost worked - except we had the fans in the stand encouraging and pushing our kids to do their best, and our kids did swim their best!  

As Julia's team headed to the pool, one girl in particular was really struggling.  I racked my brain for some way to encourage them.  I believe God gave me these words to speak over them as they headed to the pool.  I said to them, "You are the reigning champions! Go out there and swim like it!"  I have to hand it to the parent (from an opposing team) who was leading them to the pool.  She said to them, "That's right, girls!" She raised her fist and started pumping it while chanting, "Champs! Champs! Champs!"

4. As the results were being announced, the winning team held up the "L" for loser directed at our team.  Kids will be kids, and while that can't be addressed this season, they have coaches who are typically pretty classy, so hopefully, that will be addressed going forward.  In fact, their coaches sent our coaches a letter commending the team on how our kids acted in the face of defeat when they beat us two years ago.

medley relay ready to race at champs

the banquet

Per tradition we gathered for our banquet on the day after champs.  The banquet is a nine hour event complete with senior speeches and a dance party.  What I love about this team and sports:  one senior after another acknowledged that the unity of this team makes them winners regardless of their standing at the end of the season.  They were not bemoaning the fact that we did not land on top.  They celebrated years of success, camaraderie, comedy, and fun.  The seniors admonished those following them to soak up every minute and noted that they regretted the things they missed whether practices or events.

all grown up and beautiful for the banquet

Mom, I am tired and don't want any pictures!  Stop already! 

Dive awards -most improved and subtle sass award.

I will cooperate if you will just let me go to bed.

Final thoughts on swimming/sports

I encourage every parent to allow their child some time on a swim team.  I paid for session after session of swim lessons before finally putting Zach on a team.  One thing I learned was that a swim team is the best way for a child to learn to swim well.  In my opinion swimming is a necessary life skill.  Of my four children, one of them did not swim and is not a strong swimmer and regrets not having a swimming background.

My only regret regarding this team is that I did not discover it in time for Zach to join as a sixth grader.  It would have been very good for him on many levels.  

Swimming requires a big commitment, but the other nice thing about it is that the team runs from three year olds to eighteen year olds.  The swimmers get the best of both worlds because they can enjoy the sport as spectators and as athletes - all in one meet!  Swimming is also great cross-training for just about any other sport.  It's probably my favorite sport in which my family has been involved.

Sports have much to teach our kids. I realize they are not for everybody, but they encourage a healthy lifestyle.  They encourage kids to persevere even when it's tough.  Sports encourage kids to work together, and sometimes they are a reminder that there are bigger things in life.  Just in the past year, I have witnessed opposing teams come together to let a hurting child experience the thrill of getting a touchdown and love on him days after he unexpectedly lost his mom.  I have witnessed a team raise money to research juvenile diabetes in honor of a teammate living with it.  I have seen older kids on a team be excellent role models for younger kids.  If done right sports can teach kids how to graciously accept success and graciously accept defeat.  Many lessons are learned in sports' arenas.

Sometimes...

Sometimes you line up the perfect shot for the butterfly (my favorite stroke to photograph), and then the coaches and stroke judges stand in your way, and you miss it. Then you get home and realize you have a back stroke photo that you love.  Sometimes a girl enters a meet anxious to PR in the freestyle and does not do so, but then she PRs in the back and butterfly.  Sometimes two kids who you drew into this whole swimming adventure can't swim on May 31st, but they both win their freestyle heats on July 5th.  

Sometimes an ordinary day with an ordinary meet makes you smile :)

God Bless America!

Happy birthday to the land that I love!  Yes, we have some family problems right now, but we have persevered through family problems before.  We need to work on unity because united we stand.  Hopefully, we can let God lead and learn to love and encourage each other.  We still have much to celebrate, so we did just that!

On Monday the 3rd, we enjoyed a terrific neighborhood celebration with a live band and a fireworks show.  We met up with friends and had such a nice night.  Julia and I did this for the first time last year.  Andy joined us this year, and I think we now have a new tradition.

On Tuesday John and Tessa graciously hosted a family celebration.  The kids did a little swimming and enjoyed sparklers and fireworks.   I was once again impressed by the big cousins.  As kids will do, they decided to get the pool water moving in a circle.  That was sometimes overwhelming for the little ones, so the big kids (really young adults actually) just scooped up the little kids and carried them.  Reagan just learned to swim, and the water was over her head.  When she lost confidence and struggled, they scooped her up without making her feel like she failed.  So precious!

I came at Kallie with the camera, and this is what she did.  What a ham!

When this guy arrived, the first thing he did was climb up on my lap.  We had this conversation.

Isaac: I am a chameleon

Me: Does that mean you are going to become the same color as me, and nobody will see you?

Isaac: Yes

Who knows where kids get this stuff?  Funnier still is that Isaac usually has little to do with me.

We probably should not have put sparklers in the hands of such little people, but I promise they were heavily supervised.  We always keep a cup of water for the sticks, and everyone watches the kids to take the hot sticks from them when they burn out to make sure they are properly disposed of.  The grass was wet, and if one of the kids got scared, they simply dropped the sparkler out in front of them, and an adult picked it up to dispose of it.

Parted in death and reunited in everlasting life

My parents married 48 years ago today.  I will always miss them, but I will never worry about them again.  I know their future is secure in Christ.  Is yours?

I remember my mom talking about marrying Dad.  They met just three months prior to saying their vows to each other.  After a fight they broke up, called everything off then reconciled and pieced it all back together in short order.  Mom also told me that she married for life, no turning back.  She learned later that Dad married with the idea in mind that they would just end it if it did not work.  I always found that interesting.  Dad came from a two parent home while Mom was raised by a single mom.  I always wondered if her exposure to the pain of divorce in extended family factored into her determination that she would wed for life and if Dad's lack of exposure to that pain left him unaware of the devastation and thus comfortable with a back out plan.

It occurred to me recently, as I talked with a widowed friend about how it's hard to find a good thing in the loss of a spouse, that my mom was raised by a widow. Mom's dad died when she was only two years old.  At the time of his death, Mom's family was living near her dad's side of the family in Mississippi. I am not sure how long they stayed, but I don't think it was long before my grandma packed her children up and moved to Indiana to be close to her side of the family.  That move changed the course of family history.  I think it unlikely that my parents would have met had my mom been raised in Mississippi.  It's still possible, I guess, since it was one of my mom's maternal aunts who introduced them, but Mom would have been a different person.  She would have had a different group of friends and may have already been committed to someone in Mississippi.

The twists and turns of life are sometimes fascinating.  I highly doubt my parents married expecting to raise six children.  While both of them loved being parents to such a big bunch, I have always been under the impression that my dad was the driving force behind choosing to have so many children.

My parents own moves changed family history as well.  While living in South Carolina, neighbors led them to Christ.  Even that played a part, I am sure, in the number of siblings I have and certainly in the faith of my family all the way down to my own children.

To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.  My parents spend this anniversary in Heaven, and I can only guess at what they might be doing.  They may not even be aware of the date.  They have a child and two grandchildren there, and I am guessing both of them have spent some time with them.  Reunions are so precious.

The fixit summer

Grr...
This promised to be a very nice summer when it started, most notably because it is longer than usual. Our district has pushed back the beginning of the 2017-2018 school year by a week, and this year left us without the usual pile of weather days to make up at the end of the year.

Thus far it has been crazy busy, and that busy has been complicated by a vehicle repair, a home air conditioner repair, and a lock repair.  Just yesterday, a locksmith rekeyed our entire house because we could not open our front door from the outside, even with a key, when it was locked.  This is normally something we would fix ourselves, but the combination of Andy's work schedule and the fact that our deadbolts had been challenging for 10 years, and we could not fix them ourselves was enough for me to hire a professional to just fix it all and do it right.

After the previously mentioned situations, I was hopeful that life would resume minus repairs.  However, the day after receiving our vehicle back, the check engine light came on.  I suspect I know what that is, and it is a $1500 repair.  It won't hurt the vehicle, so I will check on it but probably leave it.  You can imagine my frustration this morning when my day started with a not so warm shower.  Andy turned up the water heater, but I am hesitant to hold out any hope that this will fix the problem. Grr.

On a brighter fixit note, Julia received individual instruction this past week on her swim starts and turns.  After a not so great start to the season, she really rocked her meet last night taking 2nd in back stroke and fourth in butterfly.  She's reached a difficult stage of swimming.  Since Julia is only a summer swimmer, the year-round swimmers have a distinct edge on her.  I was so proud of her for doing so well last night against an impressive team.

Today it's back to professional development for me.  I have completed nine hours this summer, and today I will tackle three more - they might start today but have to be finished by the end of the month, so they may not get completed today.  PD is another thing I am ready to put behind me, but the reality is that it is peppered throughout the entire summer.

I've been thinking

As much as we miss Dad, I think this has been hardest that Savannah was away when he died and had not seen him in months.  He never got to ask her in person about campus life.  As Father's Day approaches, I have been amused by one thing that we missed with Dad.

During my college days, Dad constantly stayed on me for not taking more hours.  He took 18 hours a semester in college and could not understand why I did not.  I reminded him frequently that I also had to work - something he did not have to do while in school.  Dad racked up some insane number of college hours over his four years.  It was a bragging point that he used against me.

Now I think about the hard time Savannah could have given him over all of this.  She finished one year of college with 60 hours of credit.  Technically, she returns for her second year as a junior.  Granted, she had opportunities that Dad and I did not as she completed something like 27 college hours while still in high school with AP credits, dual credits, summer courses, and online courses, but they all count, right?

It's been on my mind lately that we would have had some fun with this at family gatherings.  Dad was so proud of his grandkids.  One of Tiffany's last conversations with him was about each of them and their gifts and talents.

Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged; parents are the pride of their children.
Proverbs 17: 6 NLT

Our sermon on Sunday was about grandparenting, and while it got Andy to thinking about his relationship with his grandparents, it got me to thinking about my children's relationships with their grandparents.  It made me think about the kind of grandparent I want to be.  As young as I feel, my mom was a grandma by the time she was my age.  I know that season will be here before I know it.  It was funny that Andy asked yesterday if it is time for us to start placing bets on who will make us grandparents first....um, let's start with which one will marry first. :)

When it rains it pours

A little recap of the week behind us:

On Monday night Julia kicked off her swim team season with her first meet.  Storm delays sent us packing to our vehicles to wait out the weather.  It is well-known that this is par for the course every year for our meet against this particular team.  In fact, we gave our head coach a hard time because in the pre-team cheers, he said, "we are here, and it's not raining."  Um, did he really say that?  Yes, he really did, and he admitted to jinxing us as we were ordered off the pool deck.

Andy's boss was in town, so that means his company owns him 24/7 - as if that is not usual.  He left for work that morning, and we had to add a hot spot to his cell phone in order for him to attend the meet so that he could be at work on his computer.  There were two problems with this.  1. Swim team takes a village to run.  Every parent has a required volunteer commitment.  For us that means we have to work half a meet three times over the season.  Andy's first turn was Monday night.  He was to time the second half.  Andy always signs up to time the meets and always second half because he can't get there in time for first half.  I am not as comfortable with the timing position - so official and fast paced, but what could I do?  I had to fill in for him.  Our coordinator said he would be trying to keep the meet running and that if it went too fast to raise our hands and he would slow down.  To time, you have two people on each lane - a parent from each team.  You have either dolphin timers that start themselves and you have to stop them or you have stopwatches that you start and stop yourself.  For this meet we had dolphin timers - until we didn't.  The system went down, and they had to bring us stopwatches.  We had a particularly slow swimmer in our lane one time, and they started the next race while I was still recording the times.  That stinks, but it is fixable.  We raise our hands and someone brings us spare timers that were started at the beginning of the race and replaces our timers.  We raised our hands, and nobody came.  Poor kid did not get a time for that race, and I was overly stressed about this timing gig because it was dark, and I was having a hard time working the stopwatch.  UGH.

Julia was scheduled for three events - 1 relay, 50 free and an IM.  Because of the delay, all relays and freestyle races for the older kids were cancelled,  so we were there to see literally one race.  I was timing during her event, so I could not watch her finish.  It was not her best effort.  She's rusty after a winter of not swimming and reaching a place were competing against USA swimmers gets harder and harder every year.  I wish we could afford to put her on a USA team for the winter, but it's just not an option.  I did not know until the end of the meet that Andy's computer battery had died, so he could not stay to see her event.  He left and though she had intended to leave with him to clean her room for houseguests who were coming the next day (more on that later), she was stuck with me for the remainder of the meet.

It was close to 11p.m. before Julia and I made our way to the van to head home.  I started her (the van) up and started to leave my parking space when I realized something was wrong.  I had no steering.  What?! I backed her up and tried again hoping that I was just tired and delirious, but no - I could not steer the van.  I called Andy. He told me to call AAA, but since he was less than 10 minutes away,  I waited for him to verify that I was not crazy and had not overlooked something simple like being out of gear.  He came, and he saw for himself that something was not right.  I called AAA.  He took Julia home.  This is where I love my husband so much.  After a long work day, he returned to wait with me.  It was well after midnight when the tow truck arrived.


The tow truck driver also looked for a simple fix.  He found that the serpentine belt had slipped off.  I know that's a pricey repair, and I also suspected there was a reason for that that might be pricier still, but I hoped that it was as simple as replacing that belt.  Our mechanic called us the next day with the bad news.  A bolt had broken loose and flown into the engine.  His shop does not have the lift to get the van up to get to that, but his brother has a shop that does - across the state line.  So, another tow with a $120 price tag and a minimum repair price added of $500 which could go up to $1500 if they have to drop the engine became our reality.  We had our diagnosis, and the mechanic can not get to the van until the end of next week- almost two weeks after our incident.  That's when panic set in.

I could not help but be amused by this lettering on the tow truck.  I jokingly said that we are just doing our part to make towing great again.  However, not needing a tow - that would be great.  Driving a 10 year old vehicle with 196,000 miles on it does get scary at times.

Our calendar for the past week and next week makes me hyperventilate.  There is no more room to write another thing on it.  Last week my best friend from high school had surgery.  She's a widow with two small kids.  I was keeping her kids for two days and adding their practices, equipment pick ups etc. to the schedule.  Andy's boss was in town meaning he was working in a different location part of the time and had to be available for team dinners, and suddenly we had one vehicle between us.  I got up and dropped him off at work, and he bummed rides daily.  This is one of those situations where we miss Dad- of course, we miss him lots for lots of reasons.  He always had a vehicle to spare for his kids when theirs were being serviced.  He bought extra vehicles in part for that reason.  As part of settling his estate, we have already parted with his vehicles.


My friend is not out of the woods, her recovery is ongoing, and her kids are needy.  She's a widow, and they came to us very scared about her surgery and in need of entertainment and attention, totally normal for their ages.  I want to help more, but as Murphy's Law would have it, we hit another low...

Yesterday my husband informed me that our home air conditioner was not working.  Yesterday was Saturday, and after a week of 60 degree swim practices, it was hitting 90 degrees yesterday.  I don't know if I have mentioned this, but I am on a different pay rotation for this year which lowered my checks by $160 per month.  In addition, the first tuition bill came out for next school year, and tuition increased by $160 a month, so I am down $320 a month for a few more months until the rotation of my checks returns to normal.  My constant prayer this year has been that we would thrive rather than survive this year.  There is no money in the bank for a pricey van repair followed by an A/C repair.  I started thinking - okay, that's an old unit, and if we are told it needs to be replaced, we will have to buy fans and space heaters because replacing it is not happening.  It does seem, however, that a part needs to be replaced rather than the whole unit.  We will see today as Andy is calling someone a friend recommended.  Said friend has already given the AC guy a heads up.  Said friend is the same one who had surgery last week, and that's just like her -- taking care of someone else during her own time of need.  She's pretty special and very dear to us, so you can imagine why we want to help her and take care of those kids whom we also love.  They both have hearts as big as their mama's.

So those were the lows.  We are still down a vehicle, and I have lots of professional development this week.  In addition, Wyatt and Julia have overlapping camps, so it's crazy - another week where the calendar makes me want to hyperventilate.

However, there were some highs.
Kim's kids joined the swim team this year, so when I took them to practice on those cold mornings, those little water bugs stayed to swim after practice. They are non-swimmers.  I advise every parent I know to put their children on a swim team as I find it to be the very best way to help kids become strong swimmers, and it's such a great way for life-long exercise and enjoyment.  I shared with them that Wyatt wanted to go off the diving board, and Andy told him he had to swim across the shallow end of the pool without touching before he could do that.  Every time I took Wyatt to the pool, he practiced swimming across the shallow end until he could do it.  They started doing this and both of them could do it before the end of the week.  It was sloppy for sure, but it's a solid start. They just have to get down the lane alone to swim in a meet, so while they did not make the cut for tomorrow, I am hoping for next week.  Woohoo!!

On Tuesday Julia had her first dive meet of the season, and she took first place.  Her dives were solid but not spectacular, and some of the better divers had a rough night, but she's in the mix and capable of doing this well going forward.  Bonus - we did not get out to the parking lot and find we needed a tow ;)

On Friday I dropped Julia off with her friends for a few days of church camp. It's our last one as they stop with the incoming 8th graders, and she is the baby of our family.  We have so many great memories and friendships from camp, so I am sure she's having an amazing time.

P.S. We have air again.  $300 for a new fan motor, but it's working.  Now the house is cold in my opinion.  I was comfortable with 77 degrees - Andy- not so much.  However, I know that it would have gotten well above 77 if we did without.

The van repair was also much cheaper than expected at $440.