Trusting / Perspective / Small stuff

On Monday this week I responded to an email regarding my hope for continuing my second job.  As it turns out, the district wants fewer people in that position, so they are surveying those of us currently serving in that capacity to determine our intentions toward staying.  I am one of the last two hired, so it is only fair that they would keep others before me.  I know some may not be willing to work at the new location as it is not the safest place, and we have to leave after dark, so we will see how things pan out.  I started that job in October and knew that it was not a stable position given all the restructuring going on in my district.  Therefore, I never made that income part of my bill paying cycle.  From the beginning it was set aside to fund my trip to Washington D.C. with Julia.  My hope for the coming year was that it would put a small amount toward a debt I am anxious to unload and fund Bible and Beach for my kids next summer.  You may be thinking that Bible and Beach should be their expense, not mine, but neither is really old enough to secure regular employment, and during the school year, with sports, we will only allow them to work one day a week.  It's harder to find an employer to train you to work one day per week when you couldn't yet work more than that for the preceding summer. I do feel that they should start working at sixteen and start learning life skills like how to juggle multiple schedules and plan ahead as well as how to work under authority and how to manage their own bank accounts.  However, neither of them has reached the age of sixteen yet.  All this to say that job or no job, God's got this, and He has a plan.  I am resting in that because last year was the first time in five years that my income increased.  Some of those years it actually decreased.  I am due a tiny increase this year and will likely not see another for the rest of my career.  Meanwhile tuition was a 10% increase for this family, and that was just for high school.

On Tuesday Savannah texted and asked how to handle the fact that she backed into a parked car, and there was damage.  She's so upset with herself, but when you've had forty some odd trips around the sun, you realize that this is small potatoes.  We all get mad at ourselves when we make mistakes after having been so cautious to protect our own property and that of others.  We turned it over to the insurance.  Given the pictures I am not even sure the repair will cost as much as the deductible, so the fact that her insurance will likely increase really stinks.  However, I feel it is safest to file a claim in this kind of situation.  Here's why- years ago one of my family members was driving when the van in front of her jerked suddenly into the other lane.  She found herself in the rear end of a parked truck. The damage was minimal, and both cars were pretty much junkers, so she and the other driver agreed that she would just pay the damages and keep the insurance out of it. My relative's car was totaled. Then the other driver tried to get more than the repair price out of her.  Suddenly, there was damaged stereo equipment that had been in the back.   I don't remember.  Anyhow, as soon as that business started, she turned the accident over to insurance, and the family speculated that the car that jerked out of the way may have been involved in a scheme to cause an accident hoping for some money from it. Interestingly, the stereo equipment was suddenly a non-issue once insurance was involved.  I cautioned Savannah to take pictures and submit them immediately to the insurance because the other driver could drive away and hit something and then try and claim that as Savannah's damage.  While she beat herself up, the world was rejoicing yesterday as the last of a team of young soccer players exited a cave where they had been trapped for weeks.  I reminded my girl that I have not been camping outside of a cave for almost a month uncertain about whether my child would emerge alive.  This car incident will not involve a costly rescue on an international level where one highly trained expert would lose his life.  Perspective.

Another jolt of perspective hit me this morning as I listened to to Wally show while running errands and was reminded that the fact that we have cars and a roof over our heads puts us in the top 15% of world wealth.  Sometimes I don't see how we will keep going, but God has kept us afloat, the mortgage paid and food on the table for 2.5 decades now.

Even so, Satan attacks, and small stuff can certainly seem like big stuff.  Savannah works this summer with people in their twenties who have given up their summer income potential, and sometimes a year of income in order to love as Jesus asks us to.  During this summer two interns have lost their cars - one to a costly repair that would be more than the value  of the car, and the other to an accident where the car was totaled. Another intern wrecked this week.  This is probably a big deal to them, so can you all just pray?  Satan may win some battles, but God is bigger!

While we are speaking of small stuff, my computer mouse has just about driven me crazy while typing this entire post...literally small stuff - but irritating just the same.  Confession time.  I try to  remember the positive, but I am human, and yes, I do spend some sleepless nights worrying over the future.  I am still a sinner in desperate need of a savior.  Find the joy - if I do not get to keep my job it may be because Andy is seeing more opportunity to pursue his passion for playing the drums.  I may need to be at home in the evenings. It may be that another opportunity will be set before me.  One thing I love about my second job is the opportunity to see how creative teachers are as they prepare things for their classrooms.  I have seen student projects that are truly amazing and involved so much learning.  Teachers give up their Saturdays to work on these things for their students and often give right out of their own pockets too. There is no way for students or even parents to begin to grasp what sacrificial love goes into working for these students.  Another opportunity to be inspired in a similar way would be fun as well.  I have learned so much, and it has been worth it, even if only for a few months.


P.S. - The schedule is out, and I still have my second job! In fact, I return to work there in less than two weeks. Looks like B&B may be a go for the kids next summer, and/or we may be able to cover fall sports without going into debt.  It's bittersweet.  I certainly would rather be at home, but the hours are quite reasonable for my family.  I do need to stop by in the next week to get the lay of the land since the move.
2nd P.S. and now the job is up in the air again.  Again, I started this job knowing that it held some uncertainty.  I am not sure if the job is up in the air, or if just the schedule is up in the air - not sure if I will just be starting later.  Who knows?