Nineteen Candles

How many of you know where you were nineteen years ago this week?  On the day after Easter and the first weekday of spring break, I had plans.  Work needed to be completed as my due date quickly approached.  This smart, artistic, witty, selfless, penguin loving girl had other plans.  She came into the world and promptly peed on the doctor's shoe.  She then screamed until she was fed-  an irony of sorts as she was born at almost the exact length and weight of her older brother.  One month later I was in the doctor's office with her, convinced she was starving as her weight was significantly behind what his had been at one month old. I learned the difference between boys and girls pretty quickly - boys feed every two hours, girls feed every four.  Happy Birthday, Savannah!!!

We drove to her college town to celebrate her birthday a day late.  As it is Easter weekend, she was torn between coming home for Easter and staying at school with the friends she has come to love over the year.  They will all part ways in a few weeks and will not likely get together again until August.  Savannah also has some really busy weeks ahead as the semester quickly draws near to a close.  I offered a compromise and said we would come see her.  Less time on the road for her, and she still gets to visit with family on her birthday/Easter weekend.  We did not all make it up there as I had hoped.  Wyatt opted not to go, and the schedule was too tight for Zach to be home in time for work.

Nineteen candles.  We found a table on campus to enjoy her birthday cheesecake.  As we were struggling to light the candles, Savannah pointed out that they call that area the wind tunnel.  Somehow we managed to get them all lit before they melted the M&Ms covering the top of the cake.

For the third year in a row, Savannah wants shoes for her birthday.  She has not tried on the brand nor determined the style for the shoes she wants, so we will wait until that is confirmed to buy them.  However, I don't think a pair of shoes will compare to the 90% she earned on her chem test, taken on her birthday.  She knew the day would be a busy/stressful one, and that 90 is before the test is curved, so it may be even better.

A Revised DD214

After many emails, calls and some paperwork that included the help of a congressman's office, Dad's military awards have been reinstated, and we have an addendum to his DD214 to note the revisions.


The addendum includes a few other awards of which we were not aware - a marksman award, a Vietnam campaign ribbon with two bronze stars indicating that he was involved in two campaigns in Vietnam, and an award from the Vietnamese government.  It sounds like the military will be sending replacement medals for those awards that can be replaced.  The award from the Vietnamese government cannot be replaced.

I am grateful to my cousin Susie who got the ball rolling on this and provided the proof we needed for the grave marker.  It is nice that Jonathan will be able to have a bronze star in honor of Dad to display with the flag.

Our main concern was getting his bronze star reinstated and noted on his grave marker.  Jonathan told me last night that Dad seemed unconcerned about the award. Dad told us when Mom died that he would not have credit for it because his commanding officer did not sign off on it when he was discharged.  Jonathan said that Dad told him that they handed bronze stars out like candy during the Vietnam War, so he seemed unimpressed with it.

My opinion - if you jump into the line of enemy fire to protect your men, and they hand out candy for it, you might as well get your piece of candy.

A little spring break fun

My plans for  what was supposed to be a stormy day included a long overdue household project.  However, when I walked out of the gym that morning, the day was the most beautiful I had seen in a while, so I raced home where I picked up Wyatt and coerced convinced him that we needed to go for a walk in the park.  I knew just the park too - one where we could see horses.  I had two spring break bucket list items and one included going to a horse park for two days where I could bask in all the beauty of one of God's most gorgeous creatures, in my opinion.  We would also go horseback riding there.  However, the only child who would and could have done that with me took off for the beach, and really none of them seem truly interested, so I might have to add that to the dating bucket list. My other plan was a pedicure, but I decided to forgo that until summer or after a hard day at work.

Just look at that blue sky! The storms did indeed arrive- just many hours after originally predicted.  I parked too far down the trail as I had only gone as far as the horses once and that was with Andy who parked closer to them. Wyatt was a good sport for what turned out to be a much longer than intended walk.

The payoff - Just look at this beauty queen!  Some had the mountains for spring break.  Some had the beach, but I think she's almost as pretty as either.  Don't get me wrong, I love both the mountains and the beach and really, really look forward to visiting both, but it's fun to see horses too.

That long walk ended with a trip to DQ for some refreshment.  I guess I looked pretty bad when we arrived.  I was still in my gym attire and had not done my hair or makeup.  While we enjoyed our treats, I glanced at my receipt and realized that our server had gifted me with the senior discount.  Um, I am almost a decade away from qualifying for that.  Yikes!

After that gorgeous day on Wednesday, I made good on a promise to spend the day with Wyatt and some of his buddies at a fun park.  Thursday was not so gorgeous.  In fact, it started off wet and freezing.  We took our chances that the course would dry and the kids could do the go-karts, so we (as in the parents - not Andy and me) bought unlimited activity passes for the kids.  They played arcade games, laser tag, and did three holes on the miniature golf course in addition to driving go-karts. I mostly stayed warm and dry inside, stepping out only briefly to get some pictures to commemorate the day.

Meanwhile, as promised my nephew sent me a better picture of Julia and him.

The rest of spring break got a little crazy.  I worked most of the day on Friday on said household project.  I babysat these five kiddos on Saturday (very grateful for Wyatt's help and Julia's eventual return to help) so that Tessa and John could move.  I then helped out a sick friend on Sunday.  I returned to work on Monday and then spent the evening in the ER with my brother - a packed ER, I might add.  He's okay and was released that night.

Kallie - 14 months

Regan (6), Wyatt (14), Ira (4 -soon to be 5), and Isaac (3)

Kinsley

Regan and Kallie

So I have to share some things about babysitting my nieces and nephews.  The baby, Kallie, loves to be held.  She randomly comes up to be picked up, and I am worried about whether she will learn to talk quickly.  Kallie knows how to get what she wants.  She simply points.  She's really sweet, almost never cries.

Regan already has that oldest child, mother hen thing going.  When Kinsley appeared with an outlet safety plug in her hand, Regan suggested that it was clearly time for Kinsley to take a nap.

Ira has the best quotes.  He needed a fresh shirt, so I offered him a sleeveless shirt.  His response, "I don't like those.  They tickle my armpits, don't you know?"  That reminded me of a Zach memory.  When he tested for kindergarten, he was asked where his armpits were, and he pointed to his ankles.  

The move took much longer than expected, and it ended up being a really late night. Ira asked to go to bed and then changed his mind stating, "I am going to wait until I am exhausted. Exhausted means really, really tired."  

The last few days have wiped me out, so I am pretty much exhausted right now.  Goodnight.

My Current State

It's spring break here, so I am in a bit of a sweet spot.  I had the opportunity to travel to Florida and may regret that I did not take it.  That's not like me to not seize a beach opportunity, but we are heading to the beach later this year, and even though the price was right, I did not have the funds readily available, so I did not jump on the chance.  Julia, however, did.  This is quite a strange spring break.  Wyatt is the only one home with me, and he is not into doing anything fun.  The weather has been beautiful for the past two days despite predictions to the contrary.  Those predictions kept me from pursuing a trip I really wanted to a nearby horse park.  Tickets are sold for two day passes and as it appeared that we would not have two consecutive days of pretty weather, I missed the opportunity.

As far as Dad's estate goes, I am in a sweet spot as well.  His taxes are complete.  The completion of the taxes stopped the process of carrying that estate file literally everywhere I went.  I never knew when I would have to access something from the file, so I just took it everywhere.  We are far from finished.  His house needs to be sold, and I need to hire a contractor to do some work on it first.  We have made two trips over to the house to purge and claim Dad's personal property, and there is still much work to be done.  I am confused about his military records. I have submitted forms to get his medals reinstated, but I just received the same forms in the mail again.  Apparently, I have to do something else to get the Bronze Star replaced.  I have yet to figure that out, but that does not have to be done right away.

I do so wish Dad had another year with us.  He would get to see Logan, my nephew, graduate high school.  Dad really stepped in and helped my sister lots when her husband died, and her boys were particularly close to him.  I would like one more vacation with him, but I guess no matter when it happened, there would always be the one more thing we wish we could do.  I remind myself that he is better than okay right now and would not come back here for anything or anyone.

So this is what has been happening:

My inheritance - one thing I have always wanted is a hutch for my dining room.  When we met to make our picks from Dad's belongings, my big pick was the dining room furniture.  I ended up with my mom's China too.  I never bought China because I could not choose a pattern when I got married. I never cared for my mom's pattern, but ironically it is very similar to the pattern I ultimately decided I liked and would have bought if the funds had ever been there.

I have my paternal grandma's antique dishes, so I have them displayed in the hutch along with Mom's China.  These dishes have been in a box in my basement since I received them. The girls and I have taken a few pieces out for tea parties over the years, but they were mostly just stored.  We ate on them as a family for Valentine's Day and will likely eat on Mom's China for Easter. 

Mom's China

On a hunch, I went to the cemetery to see if Dad's marker had been placed.  It was there, but there is a major problem. For some reason they changed Mom's birthdate.  I pulled the paperwork to see if I signed off on it, and sure enough I did.  I tried to get everything right and blew it on this one.  However, the cemetery blew it too.  I could not change anything on the form that they called mandatory, and that included her birthdate. Because it was correct on her marker before, I did not even think to look it over carefully.  I worked very hard to get the wording correct on the part we could control and had several people review it.  I was sick when I realized the mistake and knew I would have to make it right even if it cost $2k.  However, the cemetery owned their part in it and said it would not be a problem to fix it.  I don't know how long that will take or if they will notify me when it gets fixed, so I will see this summer, I guess.  Everything else is exactly as we wanted it, so I hope the fix does not mess up something else.  I know my parents do not even care about this right now, but I could not let it stay like this.  We had no choice on Mom's name.  We were able to add her middle name when Dad died, and the marker changed, but Mom never used her first name and would have rather had her maiden name on the stone.  We had no choice in that, so I hope that the birthdate gets worked out.

Julia keeps sending pictures like these.  They say the water is the most beautiful they have ever seen.  So Julia is grounded once she returns for flaunting it.

I love this one for so many reasons.  I love to see my nephew with such a big smile on his face.  I just wish the picture was not blurred.

I started spring break by making a door wreath.  When we bought our house, our realtor made a beautiful summer wreath for us.  She knew I loved dogwoods, and it was full of silk dogwood blooms.  After ten years of seasonal use, the wreath was beyond the point of needing to retire.  I have wanted a new one for a while now and could not stomach the cost of a wreath.  I have yet to decide if this needs some embellishments - a starfish? an initial? flip flops? flowers? a bow?  I will let it be for now until I decide.  

Just some notes on wreath making - 1. it's not cheap, there's a reason that these things cost $60+

2. working with burlap is messy - it shed everywhere.  I was covered in it as was the chair in which I was sitting.  I think I even inhaled it. 

3.  I think I will pay the $60+ in the future if I want a new wreath.  Then again, after having done one, maybe I will be better at it next time.  That is if I want another burlap wreath.

Andy keeps saying it looks country, and that makes him happy since he's from the country.  I am not sure "country" is the look I was going for, but I do like it. 

On Sunday we journeyed to a college town.  Savannah's best friend is a cheerleader for the first time in her life fulfilling a lifelong dream, and her team had a showcase before heading to nationals.  She invited us, so we went.  Emily did great.  She's really got those sharp movements down, and she's a flier doing some great stunts. Savannah was unable to attend the showcase, so we met her afterward for dinner at a wonderful African restaurant.  That's some comfort food there!  Savannah just cut all her hair off, and I am loving it!

I keep saying that someday Savannah will write a book called, "An Abundance of Emilies."  Since preschool she has had four best friends named Emily - not all spelled with the traditional spelling.  I have to say that they have all been top-notch girls.

That's all for now.

A secret car guy?

The past week has been brutal.  I had little spare time and what little I had was spent working on estate paperwork- particularly in regard to Dad's cars.  Dad's MiniCooper has been the most difficult to address.  Nobody wants it. It's not a practical car - an oddity for a practical man.  I think my dad may have had a secret thing for cars.  He was definitely not the climb-under-the-car or even work-under-the-hood kind of guy.  I do think, however, that he could appreciate a pristine, sports car. I believe that after years of having to have practical cars because he had six kids, Dad decided that, in his last years, when he had the means, he could play a little.  I never really heard him talk about cars over the years. I know his first car was a mustang.

I picked up his Mini on Friday to return it to the dealership. It was a leased vehicle and not only impractical for any of us, it also has this postage-stamp-size back window which I complained about regularly when Dad made me take this car to get him to his doctors' appointments.  I used to tell him that I would drive the car with the least bells and whistles because he always insisted we drive his cars.  He loved bells and whistles, me- not so much. For example,  Dad would tell us about how the mirrors would warn us when other cars got too close when we drove his Flex. 

As you can see, we had some fun taking a few last pictures before surrendering the car.  This served two purposes. 1. I wanted these pictures as another remembrance of my dad. 2. I wanted to document the condition of the car with time-stamps in case we run into any issues with the finance company.

I confess that on the night I picked the car up from Dad's house, the weather was mild, so I drove with the top down.  I might never get to ride in a convertible again in my life, so I wanted to do that. It was not the best experience.  Storms were moving in, so I was riding with lightning and rain threats all around me and finally had to stop and put the top back up.

These pictures are of Dad with his "wives" as he called his prized possessions.

I believe this was his first car, and that is his actual wife leaning on it :)

I thought I would be relieved to get the cars settled, but really it just makes me miss Dad more.  Settling an estate does not leave one time to grieve.  I have suffered loss before, but nothing has been as painful as this. 

One Form Leads to Another

So it goes.  On Friday afternoon in regard to two separate things, I dealt with situations where one form led to another.

One such situation went something like this:
Please email us these two forms.  I ask if they need anything else referenced in the email. The response is negative.  I send the forms. I get an email back stating that my request cannot be processed because I did not include one of two numbers in the email.  Okay.  I send a second email with said number and forms attached again.  I get a response that my forms are not in an acceptable format, so I will need to try again.  Okay.  I try again.

Over the holiday break I went back and forth trying to get a release sent correctly.  Last week I got a letter in the mail stating that the information needed does exist, and you guessed it,  this is the form and the list of documents needed to get to it.

UGH!  UGH!  UGH!

I completed the forms for the second example last night and took them to work because we have a pay copier there.  I was not letting them out of my hands without keeping copies.  I left the sealed, addressed envelope on my desk this afternoon.  UGH!  Fortunately, there really isn't a deadline on them.  Taxes x five are around the corner, so I am just trying to unload paperwork as it comes.

No longer a daughter

Last night I attended Bible study.  The women at my church are doing Kelly Minter's All Things New.  We will explore 2 Corinthians through the course of this study.  We kicked off last week, but instead of diving into Kelly's work this week, we were to read 2 Corinthians.  Two things really struck me in this book.

1.  My group leader mentioned that she read Women of the Word which she attributed to Kelly Minter (I have since learned that Kelly did not actually author that one), and it changed the way she approaches Bible study.  I noted the title, looked it up on Amazon.  I did not purchase it for two reasons; I don't have time to read another book right now, and I can't spend any money right now - dental bill, estate bills, recovering from Christmas -you get the picture. I did, however, read the reviews and one reviewer mentioned three strategies for Bible study are highlighted in this book one of which is to look for what it tells us about God.  I decided that as I read I would do just that.  I read 2 Corinthians with a pad of post-its and a pencil in hand.  I noted every characteristic of God I found in the book.  That was uber cool.  I then prayed them back to Him.  It's amazing how much of God's character is packed into this book and highlighted.  Before I even completed the tenth chapter, Julia asked about what I was doing.  I shared it with her and then read through all those post-it notes aloud.  She was impressed by how much was learned in a few chapters.

2. Paul was writing to a church in a culture much like my own, and Paul was desperately trying to regain his reputation with them.  They had taken the word of "super Apostles" and eloquent speakers who discredited Paul because he was no orator in a time when the respect of public speakers was earned by having a background and training in oration.
In her first video teaching for the book, Kelly asked what we do when we've been hurt by someone or our reputation has been questioned.  Do we try to love them anyway as Paul did, or do we close the door to our hearts to that person, or do we lash out?  I have a relationship in that very state right now, and I have said to more than one person in the last few days that I have no desire for reconciliation.  I knew the answer when she posed the question.  I can forgive which I believe simply means that I do not seek retaliation, but I will protect myself and cut off contact with someone who has wronged me- particularly when I think they will continue to do so.  Ouch.  It remains to be seen whether I will feel convicted to pursue the relationship as Paul did or not.  However, we did acknowledge in our small group that Paul did not go to Corinth.  He did distance himself and wrote to them instead.

During the course of the evening, I was reminded of something else.  You can brace yourself for the occasions when you think you will be grieved most by loss - the anniversaries, holidays, and birthdays.  It's the times when it hits from nowhere that are the hardest; such as when you want to pick up the phone and share that thing, or a comment is made that reminds you, or even someone you haven't seen in a while asks about it.  Last night it was a seemingly innocent statement.  As women do when gathered, someone mentioned the various relationship roles of our lives.  You've heard them.  You are a mother, wife, sister etc.  Last night someone started that list with "daughter."  Immediately, my mind processed the fact that I am no longer a daughter, not a granddaughter either.  I mean I know I am a daughter of God, but this use of daughter was clearly in relation to earthly parents.  I have thought about how I am now among oldest generation in my family.  I have considered how unfair it is that I have a 33 year old brother who does not have parents.  I have nieces and nephews who will not remember my parents.  I've considered these things, but it never crossed my mind until last night that I am no longer anyone's daughter, and that really stings.

It's been a quite a week here.  Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday.  I took off work on Monday to report to court to be named executrix of my dad's estate.  When I submitted the paperwork, I was so frustrated.  I had spent an hour in consultation with an attorney and hours researching the forms needed and completing them.  I was still missing two forms.  It occurred to me that the paperwork to adopt a child (to literally take responsibility for someone's life) is easier than the paperwork to take care of someone's stuff. Of course that's not exactly true.  If you are working with a good adoption agency, they walk you through the completion of every form, and that's what makes it easier.  Nobody does that when you are dealing with an estate unless you hire an attorney.  I had to swear before a judge that I will execute my dad's will to the best of my ability.  That part was not hard.  Dad did everything he knew to do to make this part of losing him as easy as possible, and I want to honor him for all that he did to take care of us. I have sixty days to submit another form. I confirmed while there that I could mail it ...because PARKING!  My attorney friend has told me that this beginning process of settling the estate is the easiest part.

Can I just interject here that when I met Andy, he was planning to pursue law school?  When I met my sister in law she was planning to pursue law school.  A few years ago when I inquired of a friend who is an attorney as to what it would cost to update my will as I really need to change the listed guardian, I decided that clearly I needed to go to law school.  I am kind of regretting at this time that not one of us pursued that course as it would be very handy to have an attorney in the family right now.  By the way my will still needs to be updated, but you can't really nail down a price with an attorney, and what I've heard is more than five times what I originally paid.  I did not get some cheap, unqualified lawyer.  I used the same lawyer as my dad did for his will, and his will is rock solid.

While I was in court, my new library assistant started her job. I had to miss her first day.  Thankfully, she handled it well.  Andy left town on Tuesday and returned today.  More paperwork arrived in the mail today.  I have much to do, and this is the longest stretch of the year in education. I do believe, however, that this Bible study will be good.  It will be very good.