Family History

Savannah is working on a genealogy project for her social studies class.  She is required to list the birth dates and anniversaries of each generation from her great-grandparents down to herself.  For reasons unbeknownst to me, she is not required to have the death dates.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to find anniversary dates?  I remember when I was planning my wedding, my grandma (aka Grandma by the Lake) told me that I had chosen a bad date because it fell right in between Andy's birthday and my birthday.  Since our birthdays are only a month apart, she argued that no one would remember our anniversary.  Well, it seems that no one would have remembered anyway.  I told her then that I didn't think it mattered if anyone but Andy and I remembered.  Anyway, I digress.  Part of Savannah's project involves finding a funny or interesting family story, and as we tried to come up with interesting and funny things about our relatives, it occurred to me that I should blog what I know of my grandparents for the sake of my children (who never actually read this blog as I have already established, but maybe someday...)

This first picture is of my maternal grandparents.  This is what I know of the two of them.  I think they met at some military place during World War II.  I think my grandma was working there in some civilian role, and my grandpa was a soldier.  My grandma was a single mom when they met. She left an abusive husband with her daughter and moved on with her life.  At a time when single moms did not make up more than 50% of the population, she was very fortunate to have family support and that my grandpa's family welcomed her whole-heartily.  

After their marriage, they settled in Mississippi near my grandpa's family.  Grandma had been born and raised in Kentucky, one of six girls.  Together, my grandparents had my Uncle Jack and my mom. Overwhelmed with the work of raising the children, my grandma got some household support with a hired lady.  When my mom was two years old, my grandpa was killed in a construction accident at work.  My mom went to the door to look for him at 5:00 every day for a month after his death.  With broken hearts my grandma and the lady my grandpa had hired to help her with the household parted ways.  Grandma took her children back home to be close to her side of the family.  She waited tables to support herself and the children, and she ended up putting herself through nursing school.  She later married the only man that I ever new as "Grandpa" and was widowed again when he died in 1991.

My favorite story about my grandma is the one where she dropped out of school in 4th grade.  This is where I really wish she could talk and tell me this story again.  I know she didn't get along with the teacher, and they had an altercation one day that caused her to run home.  Her teacher sent an eighth grade boy after her.  That may have been the teacher's biggest mistake.  My great-grandpa was at home and working outside when my grandma arrived with an eighth grade boy hot on her trail.  I believe that boy probably got an ear full, but the teacher got it worse. My great-grandpa marched right over to that school and let the teacher know in no uncertain terms that she was never to send an eighth grade boy after any of his girls and that my grandma would not be returning to school.  She did return the following year when a new teacher took over, but she never caught up on math.  Years later when she was in nursing school, one of Mom's teachers tutored her so that she could handle the math work.

I am fairly certain that my grandma was a daddy's girl.  I never heard her express any love for her mother.  My great-grandfather died when my grandma was twelve years old.  The oldest three of their girls remained with my great-grandmother taking care of her because she was always "ill."  Her oldest daughter took care of her for the rest of her life and died before my great-grandma.  The younger three girls were sent to an orphanage.  There was jealousy on both sides with the thought that the grass was greener on the other side.

Grandma by the Lake was always feisty, and I think that is why she is still with us today.  We saw her Labor Day weekend.  I don't know if she knows who we are, but her face just lights up when we visit.  She can speak two words clearly, and the rest just gets jumbled up.  Grandma by the Lake became Grandma by the Lake when Zachary and Savannah were little.  They were fortunate enough in their early years to have every one of their great-grandmas alive.  There were too many who wanted to be called "Grandma" to keep them all straight, and Grandma by the Lake lived in an apartment complex with a big pond where she would take them to feed the fish, so she became Grandma by the Lake.

She was a great cook.  I still miss her green beans, fried chicken, and goulash. Other than her cooking, I remember that when we were little Grandma's house reeked of smoke.  She was quite the chain smoker and smoked for a few decades before she quit.  Grandma also loved to shop, especially yard sales and bargain stores.  I know it would be the right thing to do to shop yard sales and consignment for my family, but Tiffany and I were just discussing how Grandma turned us off to yard sales.  She would buy garbage bags full of clothes for us, and I honestly believe that she would go to the end of the sale and take whatever was left because I cannot remember a single time that we could use anything she sent our way.  If we tried to refuse her purchases, she got really hurt, so we had to thank her, take them and then deal with getting rid of the much too worn and stained clothing she sent us.

This is another fun fact about my grandma.  My grandma's name is Thelma, and her name along with those of her sisters in order of birth are fun to say out loud.  Give it a try:

Alma, Thelma, Mabel, Marie, Ann, Leigh

I know very little about my biological grandpa.  A few years ago, Mom came across his Bible and some letters he had written to my grandma during the war.  Mom did not keep up with his side of the family, but my uncle did.  I know that as of about a decade ago, all of his siblings had Alzheimer's Disease.  

I think all three of my grandpa's served in World War II.  My step-grandpa was on one of the first special forces teams.  Somewhere there is a book about his team, and he is mentioned in it.  He nicknamed me Sukoshi when I was a baby.  It is pronounced "Scoshee" and means "little one" in Japanese.

The funniest story about him is that he babysat me one time while my mom and grandma were out.  Either he thought they left him with no diapers, or they actually did.  I think that was always debated.  In any case they returned to find me wrapped in towels.

On my Dad's side of the family, I knew my grandparents as Jewell and Todd.  I think they thought it would keep them young if they had their kids and grandkids refer to them as everyone else did.  Todd served in the navy and spent his working years as a security guard on a college campus.  Jewell was a home-maker and excellent seamstress.  

Their house was such fun to visit.  I wish I had pictures of it.  The wrap-around porch was big enough for chasing games, and the inside was always roomy.  My great-aunt Evelyn (Todd's sister) lived with them for as long as I can remember, and she kept quite a flower garden. Todd grew tomatoes, and family was always stopping by their house.  It was the place to be.

Jewell made the suit that I wore to interview for my first teaching job in 1993.  I still have the jacket.  She also made Zachary a beautiful baby quilt, and I am doing everything I can to preserve it. She baked bread from a starter that we all still crave today.  My sister-in-law, who never tasted it has tried numerous recipes to try and duplicate it for my brother.  I know that Jewell always baked chocolate cream pies for my dad if she knew he would be visiting.  That stopped when he had bypass surgery in his forties.  Her cooking was not so great, but man she could bake.

I remember that Jewell would walk us out the back door when we were leaving her house, and then go through the house to the front door and wave to us from the porch.  It was always a big deal to us that she wave from the front porch.  She almost always cried when we left.  Jewell used to irritate Mom because just when we would be getting ready to go, she would start cooking something for us that we had to take with us.  Mom always found that to be a bit manipulative.

Todd was apparently a strong man in his younger years.  According to my dad, it is possible that he killed a man with his bare hands.  He defended a woman who was being attacked and left the man without knowing if he was alive or dead when Todd was finished with him.

What I remember about Todd is that he chased us for kisses and that he played Yahtzee every night.  He and Dad argued about politics a lot, and to this day, I pretty much leave the room if politics become the topic of conversation.  We either all agree and moan and gripe, or we don't agree and argue.  Neither is fun in my opinion.

Todd died on my 11th birthday.  Jewell died on Christmas Eve in 2002.