The Unintentional Traditions

Over the years I have been intentional about establishing family traditions as we work to build memories for our kids.  Recently, we discussed favorite traditions in a group setting.  Savannah was with me, so I asked her if we have any traditions.  She responded with talking about how Mary and Joseph travel through the house to the manger, and the nativity stays up until Easter because there is no Christmas without Easter.  Savannah also pointed out an unintentional tradition.  She talked about how everyone loses their excitement over decorating the tree by the time I finish the lights after hours of work.  I may be a bit of a perfectionist on this.  I like lots of lights evenly dispersed throughout the tree. She remembers that Andy is usually sent to the store for new lights about halfway through the process because I start finding strands that no longer work.  Don't tell Andy this, but after following that tradition this year, I found unopened sets of lights from last year's journey out for more.  Oops.

While I don't necessarily like our unintentional tradition, I have to admit that we do and will laugh over it, so that makes it kind of special.

Our other traditions include stockings stuffed by Santa for each of the kids and one additional gift from Santa.  Santa's gifts come wrapped in Santa paper, and they are the only ones that do. Santa typically does not bring the most wished for item on the wish list. I have heard it said by parents that they don't want to do Santa because they want to avoid the greed. I think you can do Santa without the greed. Make him a minor player in your Christmas tradition. You can still have the fun without the pressure and without losing the true meaning of the holiday. Andy and I give each of the kids two gifts.  We read the Christmas story before opening gifts (or someone recites it from memory as Julia did this year).  Christmas day is a lazy day around here.  We stay home and have a nice meal together.  Everyone naps whenever they want. We might play a game or watch a movie, but it is generally just the six of us unless someone stops by which is always fun.

We always gather with my side of the family on Christmas Eve.  We are a big bunch.  We all buy for Dad since years ago Mom said she could not buy for just one of her children and did not want to go in the name drawing.  The siblings, spouses and adult grandchildren (that's only Zach for now) draw names for a gift with a $30 limit.  Everyone contributes to a big joint gift or buys an individual gift for each of the grandchildren - that's a total of 9 for now since Zach is no longer included in this.  I think Austin may be joining Zach next year, but maybe we will have a new addition too (none on the way to my knowledge).  We keep the food simple.  We always have a birthday cake for Jesus.  Otherwise, we might order pizza, or as we did this year, have a potluck feast of appetizers and desserts.  This is generally hosted at my Dad's house, but we hosted this year and think we might continue that.  It was easier on us.

Sometimes traditions change a bit.  We used to always decorate the house the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  We wait an extra week now because we buy a live tree and want it to survive through Christmas. I used to find decorating the Sunday after Thanksgiving to be very tiring, but Andy insisted. I like waiting an extra week.  I used to take everything down on New Year's Day.  Now, I undress the tree shortly after it stops drinking water.  I usually take down the rest of the decor over a few days.  I like this much better: little bits at a time are less daunting and allow us to enjoy it a little longer.

Celebrating with Andy's family has some unintentional traditions too.  We typically gather at our house on New Year's Eve to celebrate.  However, weather, an injury, and conflicting schedules have derailed that over the last few years.  The unintentional result is that not everyone is together at the same time.  That is a bit awkward as we also draw names among the adults on his side of the family, and everyone buys for the kids.  We have had people opening gifts and people without gifts during our disjointed gatherings, but we are remedying that this year.  We plan to return to our long-standing tradition and gather on New Year's Eve.  Our meal will likely be a themed meal, possibly mediterranean. 

 I add traditions when I find something appealing.  For years we added a new piece to our nativity set each year.  It was not something I could afford all at once, so we built it slowly.  I think I might still add a couple more shepherds and another animal or two though I did not add anything this year.  Last year, I found a great ornament to recap the year. http://www.personalizationmall.com/Personalized-Christmas-Ornaments-Family-Home-p13122.prod?sdest=Search&sdestid=38727447

I waited until January to order ours, and that was great because I included playing with baby tigers on it which we did not do until the very end of the year.  I plan to order one again this year, and hopefully they will be available for years to come.  If not, then I will roll up our memories on strips of paper and place them in one of those clear ball ornaments, decorate it with some glittery fabric paint and make an annual keepsake ornament that way. Yes, we do have plenty of ornaments, but one day, and it is fast approaching, my kids will start moving out of the house.  I will let them take any of the ornaments they collected over the years with them, but I will still want the ornaments on my tree to reflect family memories.

What about you?  What are your intentional and unintentional traditions?

Christmas 2014

We have had a very merry Christmas here!

Regan and Ira prepare to blow out the candles on the birthday cake for Jesus.  All of our candles, trees and the angel need to be replaced, so I have the trees on order and will look for the other stuff.  

Normally, the cake is chocolate with white icing representing our dark sin covered by Christ's sacrifice. 12 red candles represent the blood sacrifice and Immanuel -God with us all twelve months of the year.  The angel represents the first to bring glad tidings, and the trees represent everlasting life.

I tried to take this picture, and Logan blinked.  The boys then messed with me and took turns closing their eyes while I shot the pictures.

I think they are ready for presents.

Julia recites the Christmas story from Luke.

When Ira visited for Wyatt's birthday, he was thrilled that we had a star on top of our tree.  Apparently, he has been giving his parents a hard time about having an angel. I surprised him with a huge star from the Dollar Tree.

We let the kids open all of their gifts, but they were allowed to actually fully open one toy to play with since they were not at home.  Regan opted to open her Peppa Pig school set, but she insisted that Jonathan open the Peppa Pig family too.  He told her that she could only open one, but Regan reasoned that George wanted to go to school too.  Score! Regan-1 Jonathan-0

Regan is very defensive of Ira.  Dad was teasing Ira and saying he was going to spank him.  Regan told him in no uncertain terms that Ira was her brother and best buddy, and Dad would not be spanking him.  Dad stood up to throw some trash away, and Regan thought he was going after Ira, so she stood her four-year-old, tiny self up in front of him and made it clear that he was not getting to Ira.  Clearly, anyone who wants to mess with Ira (who can hold his own, I might add) will have to contend with Regan.  

Game time!

prettier every day

Poor Isaac.  He was just not in the Christmas spirit last night and spent much of it in full meltdown mode.  He's usually happy, go lucky, so I was very concerned that he might be getting sick, but 20 people in one house can be overwhelming for a little guy.  That's an awful lot of stimulation.

Andy was picking out a tune on the keyboard, and Kinsley just started boogying.  This girl loves, loves, loves to dance!  Tessa says that she only plays with the music buttons on her toys that make noise and always dances to the music.

light up antlers --classic

Savannah and Julia received an education on Peppa Pig.

Christmas morning

We started the morning as usual.  Zach and I fought for a little more sleep and won. We finally gathered by the tree sometime after 9:00a.m.

I wish I had Julia's reaction to both the pajamas and the bungee chair on video.  She was jumping and screaming enthusiastically.  Speaking of the bungee chair,  I read lots of reviews on these before making this purchase.  Andy and I tried them out in the store. These chairs are actually quite comfy and apparently a great option for a college dorm room where space and seating is limited.  Our couches are sinking and ripping, and we have no means to replace them now, so we jokingly talked about just getting several of these inexpensive chairs to furnish our living room.  I do think they would be really great for family get togethers when seating is a challenge.  I also think that this would be good for my dad because the bounce in the chair is enough to help him get out of it when he is ready to get up.

Oh Yeah!!

We will spend the rest of the day quietly enjoying each other.

Christmas memory faves

Andy: Julia hugged and thanked Andy and me for a gift she had not even opened.  We figured she knew it was a new comforter for her bed, but she claims she did not.

Me:  Julia's reaction to her gifts.

Savannah: Julia's reaction to her gifts.

Zach: Being able to sleep in a room that does not make him sick.  Dorm life is not so pleasant for him.

Wyatt: receiving a new video game

I missed my mom more than usual this Christmas- not so much in the moment.  I was fully present in the moment when family was gathered, but after the fact when I reflected on how much she would enjoy the grandkids and buffer any tensions, I really missed her.  On Christmas day I missed her as I knew there would be no phone call to discuss our day.  I decided this Christmas that it is time to let go of my belief that God was going to do something extraordinary.  For about a year after she died, Ephesians 3:20 came to my attention in various ways. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us.  I started anticipating that God was going to blow my mind in a very good way though I was not sure how.  Maybe I missed it, or maybe I hung too much on that verse.  The last four years have had a lot of joy, but they have also been more stressful than any other years I can remember.  I therefore resign myself to the fact that life will just be hard for a while, maybe from now on, so I will laugh when laughter comes, celebrate when there is cause to do so and give it my best while I hang on to the fleeting years with children under my roof.

May you have many laughs, much joy, and incredible blessings this Christmas and in the coming year!

Savannah has taken to drawing skylines whenever we can take a picture of a skyline that she can use. Her rule is that she must take the picture herself.  She drew this picture this week, and I absolutely love it.  I think it deserves a frame and a place on a wall in our home.  Savannah does not care for the sky in this drawing and regrets that she did not leave it blank as she fears it distracts the eye from the buildings. She may cut much of the sky off. I think it is fine either way. I love the reflection of the buildings on the water.  

Shiloh

Shiloh's just five years old, but I think she may not be long for this world.  Over the past 18 months, she has been territorial and cranky.  I have long suspected that she acts this way because she's in physical pain.  She started with such a sweet demeanor that the shift did not make sense otherwise.  She has not been happy about the addition of Jules, but that should not have been enough to change her so much.  Shiloh often walks with a stiff gait.  Last night, she hid in a corner.  When she finally came out, she was limping badly.  Zach went out to get her some Glucosamine which is supposed to help with bone and joint issues.  She seems better today but spent most of the morning in her crate and clearly did not wish to be bothered.  

As for us, when these two dogs go, we plan to take a long break from dogs.  As much as we love them, these two have been difficult.  Shiloh is cranky often enough that we crate her when we have company,  and Jules has to be treated like a baby.  We literally set a timer to let her out every two hours to avoid accidents in the house.  We crate her overnight, and she often throws a hissy at 4:00a.m. until someone lets her out.  That someone is me 95% of the time, and I can rarely sleep again after taking care of this. Never mind, the expense of dogs.  I hope this medicine works for Shiloh because it is not too pricey.  If surgery becomes a part of the treatment plan, we will not be able to do that.  I hate the thought of putting a five-year-old dog down, but quality of life is all a dog gets, and even with surgery, I am not sure how much Shiloh's quality of life would improve.

We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Pretend I put one of these in an envelope and mailed it to you.  It was hard to do, but I really curbed the card list to people we do not get to see regularly, so the cards mostly went out of town.  As I looked over the list of people to whom we normally send cards, my heart certainly wished them well, but I needed on many levels to simplify this year and have opted to wish everyone well electronically or in person. My sincere apologies...I send photo cards because I love receiving them so much.  I truly delight over each one and display them throughout the season.  It's such fun to see what designs people choose and how their pictures tell the story of their year. It has been my only connection for the past several years with some of the families with whom I experienced the journey of a lifetime when we visited China to bring home Julia and later Wyatt. I then save them in a file that we often revisit during the Christmas season and enjoy seeing how families have grown and changed over the years.

Maybe next year I will return to the full list.

Our wish for you is perfect peace in this holiday, joy in your family, friends and gatherings and abundant blessings in the new year.

Looking for a meaningful gift this year....

Keeping Families Together

Presents or Presence

Yesterday, I sat in the waiting room at the auto mechanic awaiting an oil and headlamp change on my vehicle.  While there, another waiting customer struck up a conversation with me.  She shared that she retired from teaching elementary school 10 years ago.  Since then she has tutored students.  When tutoring students in writing, she often prompts them to tell her a story about something they have done with their parents.  The kids never have a story to tell.  They always share a time that their parents bought them something.  So she asks about their grandparents.  They may have gone to the zoo with their grandparents but the story always ends with what the grandparents bought for them.
She then tells them about making biscuits with her grandmother and cutting the dough with jelly jars. This fascinates the kids, but they always want to know what her grandmother bought for her afterwords.

While she recounted all of this, I was pondering what my children would say if asked to share a story about something they have done with us.  I have often responded to the "why can't I have _______?" with "I spend money on experiences rather than things." I hope we have established good memories with our kids. Mostly I felt really sad for kids in general as I listened to this lady recount her experiences.


The news reminds us daily that we need to be present with Christ and the ones we love.  I need to work on this, but I am feeling more determined to take a trip for just the six of us.  We have never done that.  Maybe it's time. I could work more on being present at home, but teenagers disengage easily at home.  We may just have to get away.