Dad

When I was a little girl, my dad seemed incredibly strong and brave.  He was a stocky guy, not very tall- but I was not very tall, so he was tall in my eyes.  Dad was intimidating.  He could be your playmate one minute and very angry the next.  If we arrived home to an unlocked house, he walked through the whole place before anyone else got out of the car.  As long as he had my back, I felt pretty safe.

My dad was the guy who gathered the kids on the cul-de-sac to play kickball or softball.  He coached soccer and tee-ball and was always generous with his teams.  He was among those who started the participation trophy thing by purchasing trophies for his teams.

He picked out my senior prom dress.  For some reason Mom was unavailable to shop with me.  I tried on a dress and really liked it but wanted her opinion.  He drove home to pick her up while I continued to look.  Later, my mom told me that Dad told her the whole way back that I should get that dress.

When I was in college, he had a heart-attack.  He was in his forties, and it was only within the last few years that I came to realize how rare it is for a man to survive a heart-attack in his forties.  At that point in time, Dad had worked for over two decades and had taken only two sick days.  I remember that when colleagues showed up to visit him in the hospital, he was convinced that they visited only to confirm that he was actually ill.  Dad's health continued to decline from that point.  Over the last several years, we have seen him become more and more frail which is hard to watch when you can remember the man who had a whole weight room in the garage and a chin-up bar in the yard. For years he has been a walking miracle.

My dad could hold a grudge like no other and could also be surprisingly forgiving.  He forgave the doctor whose negligence cost my sister her life. He was gracious with the doctor who had to deliver the awful news that he could not do the lifesaving surgery on my mom because the cancer had already spread, telling him, "you tried your best."

The last time I saw my dad was last Saturday.  He looked terrible.  On Wednesday he died in his sleep. It has taken until today for me to even put together a coherent thought.  I was always closer to my mom and kept my dad at arm's length.  Yet, losing him is so much harder than losing my mom.  Losing your first parent is awful, but there is something much worse when you don't have any parents left.  Without Dad's generosity, we would not have had a vacation for the last eight years.  He was always taking care of us, right up to the very end.

Dad had a great sense of humor.  He loved college sports and would miss church to watch the games. Actually, he would miss a lot of things to watch the games.  He carried strong opinions about politics which he shared whether you wanted them or not.

This is immensely painful, but I am so grateful that Dad died without pain.  He suffered so much in the last few months, and when he started refusing to see doctors, I think in part it was because he was just finished.  I think he tired of hospital stays and missing family gatherings.  Dad always wanted his family nearby. His lifelong dream was to win the lottery and move the entire family onto a compound.  I remember how he talked about having underground tunnels from one house to another, and I said I would not live there.  He couldn't believe that I didn't want my relatives to just pop up in my kitchen whenever - lol.

We have laughed today about all the driving with Dad stories.  Lately, he has needed a driver for all of his appointments, but it was rare for him to ride without complaining.  Tiffany talked about driving him home from vacation and hitting the treads on the road to keep you from going off.  He called that an off-road experience. I drove him to an appointment this summer and one the way home, he warned me that the speed limit was low on the street on which I was driving.  I drove the speed limit, and he told me to speed up.  I told him I was already driving the limit to which he responded, "I don't see any police."

Dad always wanted to know everything about everybody.  He kept up with all the things the grandkids were up to.

As families do we went ahead with Thanksgiving yesterday.  This is not typically a holiday I spend with my side of the family as it is the only one where Andy's family can all get together on the same day.  However, a move and a new marriage changed that for Andy's family this year.  We will celebrate with part of his family tomorrow.  We made arrangements for my dad today.  I don't know how any only child could ever do this.  Without my siblings I simply could not.  I also need Andy.

Andy is my rock.  When I got the news, I simply could not call anyone who needed to be called.  I could not take calls.  I wanted to just go away from it all, and he took care of all of that.

I have also realized just how much of my dad's personality has been passed down to me.  I am a worrier by nature, and I think that comes from him.  I like to be in control - yep, Dad was like that too.  I don't like crowds or traffic-hmm.  I love pictures of other people and can't have enough of them, but I hate to have my picture taken - yep, that's my dad too. I also inherited his work ethic.  I have worked many days that I should not have because I was too sick or a child was too sick.

My dad was so generous. Without him we would not have taken a vacation in the last eight years.  He always wanted to include everyone.  I have hoped for years that I would someday be able to out-give my dad. That someday never came.

I know I am rambling, so I will stop here and share some pictures.  I will share my dad's obituary in a later post.

Feeling Inspired

A friend recently asked me to a home sales party. I did not go but decided to check out the catalog to see if I could help my friend out with her party.  Little did I know that I would be completely inspired by the company.  They have beautiful products including jewelry, scarves, purses, and stationary...all favorite pick me ups for me.

The company itself inspired me even more.  This company is all about empowering women from those who sell the products to the artists who make them.  The artisans are mostly women living in societies where they are marginalized.  The catalog descriptions for the various items all include the back story.  There are the Cambodian women who have been victims of having acid attacks leaving them disfigured and without hope of acceptance in their culture.  There are the women who just want to be able to send their children to school and/or to feed their children.  They are being empowered to learn a trade that enables them to make a living.  While I love the idea of donating to such causes, the products are so pretty that to be able to wear and share them offers even more opportunity for women both here and abroad to earn an income that helps their families.

I love the FAQ section of the site where the founders of the company say that Christ calls us to love the widows and orphans. He does not say love just the widows and orphans who are Christians - He simply commands us to take care of the widows and orphans.  This company is doing that.  I feel inspired enough that I might consider a Christmas party as there are great Christmas gift options.  I may even consider becoming a consultant.  Whether I do either or not, some of these pieces will for sure be on my Christmas wish list, and I want to share this business with other women who may want to make a difference while also getting a piece of fun for themselves or the other lovely women in their lives.

Check it out: My Trades of Hope

I ordered a necklace and earring set, and I will update this post in a week or so when I receive it to comment on the quality.

As promised, here is a pic.  I am pleased with my purchase.  It is lightweight which is a big deal to me as I can't wear anything heavy around my neck, and I do not like heavy earrings.  The earrings don't show up well in the photo, but they consist of medallions matching those on the necklace dangling from french hooks.  I do like the combination of metals of different colors that can be worn with many things.

This photo shows some of the detail.  These medallions clearly took some time to produce.

Ancestry

One eighth grade project for history requires the kids to trace their family history at least to their great grandparents.  Zach and Savannah completed this project, and I thought we saved them, but they did not surface during the course of doing this project with Wyatt.  I also had a hard time reaching my dad to get names and dates.  Wyatt was required to include birth, death, and marriage dates as much as possible.

I decided to try the census database on our public library's site to see if I could figure out some of those missing pieces.  I am not really into ancestry, mostly because I don't have time for it, but the census database is fascinating.  You have to keep digging to get the information.  I was able to get to my great-great grandparents on my dad's side of the family.  The women were harder.  My great-grandmas were named Ada, Kate, Iva, and Grace.  I know the maiden names for two of them but am uncertain how to spell it for one of the two. If the birth states of their parents are correct, then I don't think Grace's family reported to the census when she was a child.   As you can imagine, it may be impossible to find Kate, and Ada comes up pretty commonly too.  I hit dead ends with them.

However, the cool thing was digging through Andy's family history.  He had a grandfather who died when his dad was a child and was not talked about very much.  This grandfather was just a mystery.  I found him, his birth state, his career and found that information on his parents as well.  Andy's great grandparents were quite educated.

The marriage dates were harder, but I got a few of them from obituaries and things still accessible online.  Military records were harder to come by, but they would be interesting too.  I did update everything in the family Bible so that we will have most of the information for Julia's project next year.  By the time Wyatt had to turn in his project, I had only gotten as far as my grandparents.  Julia will be able to complete the history to her great-great grandparents.

I may play on the census database some more and record the careers and birthplaces for everyone.  I need to organize my recordings of these things.  I am grateful that Wyatt and Julia feel grafted in enough to call this history their history because it is.  I noticed on the family tree posters on display at school, some of the kids stopped at the adoptions in their family history claiming they could not go further back. If you are looking for DNA, that's true, but I disagree on that for the purposes of family history.  It's all connected whether a family grew by birth or by adoption.  For students in a Christian school, I find it particularly interesting that family history stops with adoption.  Jesus was Joseph's adopted son, and his genealogy is listed in the lineage of Joseph in the Bible.  I realize that Mary's is also listed, and both lines can be traced to David fulfilling the prophecy.  If Jesus genealogy can be traced through Joseph, then I think it is good and right to trace our adopted children through the history of their adopted family.

I did finally reach my dad and got an earful of stories about his dad.  I tried to write them down as much as possible.  That man lived quite a life.

Wyatt learned some things from the project too.  He had to share a family story that went back at least to his grandparents.  He learned some things from doing that, and he got a perfect score on the project :)

People sometimes ask who you want to meet in Heaven.  Usually I am most intrigued by the relatives who came before me.  I think it will be cool to one day see how they react to these kids of mine.  I am sure it's quite possible that my ancestors saw who my children would be before I did.

A Beautiful Day

We visited a fantastic zoo today.  The weather was stellar, and the animal viewing was terrific.  We enjoyed some active animals.

We took our smaller vehicle, and I rode in the back with Wyatt and Julia because I am smaller than Zach (who turns 21 tomorrow, by the way).  Nobody makes me laugh more than Julia, and we laughed most of the way there.

My sloth loving boy.  I know we did not see all of the zoo.  I am not sure if they have sloths or not.

The animals were active and showed off so much personality.  I know this is a lot of pictures for a blog post, but I liked so many of them.

I am not usually enamored with owls, but this one was gorgeous.  I could not get a picture to do it justice.

The gorillas were so much fun and so full of personality.

This was an active little guy.  A volunteer told us that he is two years old and that later in the day, they bring out two other babies, one of whom is just a year old.  We did return to the exhibit, but the gorillas were all napping.

I was impressed by this gibbon's tight rope walk.  He obliged my missed opportunity for a picture and did it a second time.

How cute are they??? Posers

This bear was just beautiful.

We planned this trip weeks ago specifically to see the cheetah encounter.  We were in our seats waiting a half an hour before it started, and it did not disappoint.

Sir Francis Bacon, a red boar--Julia loved him and wants one.

Kallie is a flirt with quite a few fun faces.

The cheetah who ran for us is named Savannah.  She is strong, powerful, fast, and pretty.

The lighting is not the best, but I love the expression.