2 Warriors, 2 Princesses, and My Life as Their Mom

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Battling the Sock Monster

It stands to reason, quite simply really, that what goes into the washer must come out of the washer and go into the dryer and come out of the dryer.  It makes logical sense, but we all know the dryer eats socks.  No one knows how or why, but everyone knows that socks disappear somehow, mysteriously.

In almost nineteen years of parenting, I have approached this mystery from many angles.  I have attempted to buy all socks for each child and adult in the same style and brand.  I am convinced that the manufacturers of socks are onto this mom trick as I have returned each year to find the styles changed just enough that they do not match the previous purchase.  Arrgg!!  For the child whose socks tend to be lost more than any other on this spinning earth, I have purchased 18 pairs of socks at a time.  We tried pins briefly. That did not work.

Finally, I thought I found the answer a year or so ago -lingerie bags.  This simple tool might save us from the disappearing socks.  For just over a dollar each at Walmart, I purchased a lingerie bag for every member of the family and encouraged everyone to use them for socks.  It worked briefly.  One lost sock bag full of socks left one child totally unwilling to try this experiment any further.  I could not win her back.  Everyone else followed her lead - except for Andy and me.  We kept using the bags and were pleased to find that this system worked for us.  We learned a few things.  Each person needs multiple bags.  Bags for dark socks separate from white socks and spare bags for those days when the bags are in the laundry process.  I actually kind of like doing laundry, but socks have been my nemesis.  The sock bags make the socks manageable and much easier to cart up and down two flights of stairs. I became determined to win the kids over.

The school year started, and the kids found their sock supplies waning or out of conformity with the uniform policy.  I fought for one more chance at using the bags.  With each purchase of new socks came a new lingerie bag and orders encouragement to use the bags with the new socks.  One child obliged and received several, folded, complete pairs of socks clean just days later.  Another child is slowly coming around.  There is work to do, but this battle may yet be won.

If only the insignificant sock battle were the only battle I was fighting these days...I will force myself to smile at this small victory while fighting for a much bigger one.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Family Day


On Saturday, Zach's college hosted family day.  I remember from my own college days that family day is a big deal and hard for students whose families cannot be there.  Andy was scheduled to run a 10K that morning, so we decided that just the girls and I would attend.  

We knew we could not fully participate because of the distance.  On top of that, our plans were up in the air even as we left town because we were still awaiting surgery news for my dad.  Zach told us to stay for Grandpa, but I am glad we went.  We got there too late to participate in any of the scheduled events, but I think it was important to just spend some time hanging out with Zach. He would have been pretty lonely on campus without family there, and I think that even when we left, there was not much for him to do.


They won the game, and it was fun, but I have to agree with Zach's high school coach.  High school football is where it's at.  There is just something special about Friday Night Lights that gets lost in college.

The uniforms are new this year, and they are very sharp looking, but I do have concerns when the boys play in heat at 86 degrees like it was yesterday.  Most of the season should be cooler, however.

After the game, I got to meet Zach's adoptive mom and some of his adoptive brothers - all very nice people.  The team had the opportunity to introduce their family members.  One kid got big laughs when he said, "my girlfriend would be here too, if I had one."  Zach clearly already has some popularity with his teammates as was evident after he introduced us.



After he cleaned up, we took Zach out for pizza and found that the local pizza place adjacent to campus is really good and very reasonably priced which of course means it s also quite popular.  Zach shared a paper he had written with me where his teacher wrote some comments about how she was surprised by the quality of his writing.  Zach always downplays his abilities.  He did not take the highest level classes in high school, but even the lowest classes at his school prepare students very well for college.  The school is a college prep program, period.

Savannah had some homework for her PSAT prep course that had to be completed.  The library was already closed, so we let Zach take Julia to a nearby store while Savannah sat on an outdoor bench working her way through practice tests.  This really stinks for her weekends.  She gets no rest and really no opportunity to just take one day off.  While Savannah worked, I played with my camera.






Savannah needed fifty minutes to complete her work.  She started with plenty of sunlight, but the sun rapidly disappeared leaving her to seek out a light to finish up.  This is my favorite picture taken while just playing around with the camera, and I don't think I distracted her too much.

We left too late last night and arrived home just after 1:00a.m.  Wyatt had been at a sleepover, so everyone is tired today.  Savannah added 8 hours of drive time to her log yesterday and did very well with unfamiliar roads, detours, and construction.

Zach says he is meeting people and having fun. It is still not clear whether this will be an amazing college experience or whether we will have to reroute, but he's okay for now.

A Rough Week

After the celebrations on the weekend, Monday did not bring good things our way.  Monday evening was spent with text and phone conversations volleying back and forth over who could get my dad to a Tuesday appointment.  Tuesday was the one day of work that I could not miss this week.  Not only that, it was a particularly long work day as we also had open house.  It was finally decided that Andy would take a long lunch and get Dad to his appointment.  That never happened.

Monday night the phone calls changed.  Dad would still need a ride to his appointment, but his foot was looking so bad, and he could not bear weight on it, so  Tiffany opted to take him to the ER.  She was out on the Tuesday appointment because she had one sick day left for the year because that's how things go for a widowed single mom.  They arrived in the ER at about 10:30p.m.  Tiffany left shortly after 4:00a.m., and Dad had not yet been seen.  Within an hour he was admitted.  We were then scrambling to cancel the Tuesday appointment so that he would not be stressed about it.  Tiffany ended up giving up her sick day.

The rest of the week was a series of ups and downs about Dad.  I finally took a sick day on Friday because it looked like surgery was imminent.  Surgery is a big deal for anyone.  We recently heard of a family facing the aftermath of losing a brother in his early twenties who died after complications from a minor surgery.  Dad has a lot going on, so surgery for him is risky whether minor or not.  I was the only one who ever managed to be at the hospital when a doctor was there, and he was a minor player in all the decisions being bounced around.  Apparently, right after I left, and surgery was not the plan of action, that same doctor returned and changed the game to surgery being imminent again.  We were beyond frustrated at that point and ready to insist on another opinion.  Further tests stopped the surgery plan, and we are all relieved.

Dad clearly felt well enough at the hospital as he relentlessly harassed the nurses on everything from their political views to whether they could handle a difficult patient like him and would need a Code 5 to bring in male staff to hold him down.  He is quite the kidder, and honestly, other than a young and naive nurse or two, I think they got a kick out of him and were probably okay with having a patient who felt well enough to give and take some jabs.  The chaplain really got a kick out of him, and one nurses' aide apologized to Tiffany for having to put up with a dad like that.

I think he gets to return home today.  The medicine he will be taking over the next several weeks is dangerous, so he still needs prayer, but I think we are all a bit more relieved at this point.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Happy Birthday, Regan!

After the races, we ran Regan and Ira home for her party.  We had to get Savannah from work and then join the party ourselves.  It's so hard to believe that Regan is four.  She's the last grandchild that my mom met on earth, and she's just growing up so fast.

Danielle made the strawberry cupcakes and the cupcake cake herself - yummy and so cute!







My dad coordinated gifts from the family for Regan this year, and he had to get her this Little Mommy potty training doll because he has not outgrown potty humor.  She seemed pretty pleased with it.  I will spare you the doll details, but you can read about them here: http://www.amazon.com/Little-Mommy-Princess-Potty-Doll/dp/B0063D7YSO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1411320969&sr=8-2&keywords=potty+training+doll



It was a pretty enough day for some outside time, and Kinsley is getting so big!  Zach and Logan have the next "kid" birthdays and then Kinsley turns 1!  It all goes so fast.

Dragon Boat Festival

Our city hosted a dragon boat race and festival for the first time.  When we learned of this event, we put it on our calendar.

As we prepared to make our way to the river, it occurred to me that my brother and sister-in-law would spend the day preparing to host a birthday party with three children underfoot.  I called and asked if we could take a child off their hands.  Jonathan said that I could not just take one, and I definitely understand that.  We had the space and manpower for two, so Ira and Regan joined us for the races.  We were meeting my friend Kim and her two kids who are close to Regan's age, so we set out for a fun adventure.



We started by heading to the walking bridge for a bird's eye view of the river.




It was a long walk from the bridge to the park, so we stopped for a swing break.




I do wish the boats had the ornate dragon heads that you typically see in the pictures and in China.



My percussion family loved the Korean drums.










The boats looked like such fun.  They did have to fish a captain out of the water on one race, but the opportunity to participate was open to groups and individuals in the community.  Our county school system sent a team, and I do think this might be a fun thing to do sometime when they return.


Jonathan was very surprised that his kids were well behaved.  We had no problems.  Ira wanted to be carried back to the car, and he would not let Andy do it, but it wasn't a big deal. He was all about the bicycles and dogs -pointing them out everywhere.


Regan loved having the other kids around.  I think she liked the boats too.  She kept Wyatt in line, constantly telling him to stay with us:)



It was a tad chilly but otherwise a really nice day for the races.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Back to Life, Back to Reality

We retreat and refresh and then return.

Return to the wake up call at 1:00a.m. - I catch pieces of the conversation fearing the worst- however, it is a disabled car far from home followed by a $500 repair - neither the worst nor the best.

Return to the child who can calculate math sums and products quickly and accurately who is now failing math.  Those sneaky decimals are just so tricky!!

Gratitude that a textbook is just a few clicks and dollars away and then in the mail so that a spare can be kept at home for the child whose backpack is unbearably heavy.

Return to work and long meetings and long days and weeks.

Return to adjustments to balance the demands of work and school and family togetherness.

Return to decisions and debts and climbing insecurity.

Return to hugs and kisses and laughs and appreciation of creativity.

Life has a way of distracting us even as concern envelopes us for the pain and suffering that occurs in this dark world while remembering that darkness is simply the absence of light, and we must be light.  We look forward to a promise of rest just a few weeks out, a promise of reunion and celebration just a few days away, and a possible return, even if brief, of our oldest child to the nest.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Revitalizing Marriage


Andy and I had the opportunity this weekend to attend a marriage retreat.  Our weekend group at church hosts a retreat every year, and we got to enjoy the beautiful camp that our children visit every summer for church camp.  We, however, stayed in the lovely lodge rather than the bunkhouses.  

Our teachers for the weekend were a couple with 66 years of marital experience.  They are in their eighties, and it is always a treat to see a couple so in love after all these years.  

Preparing for this event was a bit amusing.  Both Wyatt and Julia asked if our marriage is in trouble when we shared what we were doing.  While it made us chuckle, we certainly reassured our alarmed children that we are fine and just wanted a recharge.  

I think a couple of takeaways that I will hold onto are as follows:
Genesis tells us that woman will long for her husband.  This reflects the fall as her longing for her husband replaces her appropriate longing for her God.  I don't think I had considered this before, and our speakers were open about how this played out for twenty years of their marriage.  I really need to think about how I may be guilty of the same in my marriage.  The Yiddish word for husband remains the word for "my idol" to this day.
We had a lip sing contest where freedom in Christ was definitely exhibited.  We laughed so much, and it is always good to remember that laughter is designed by God, and the church is alive and fun! 

Another point to ponder was that the forbidden fruit in the garden represented a longing to know it all.  In order for a cranium to carry all of the knowledge Adam and Eve desired, the size of the cranium had to be increased, and this is one reason for increased pain during childbirth.  

Andy and I are fairly new to this class, so we are still getting to know many of the people.  Unfortunately, we attend very few of the social events as they always occur when we have other obligations.  Thus it is harder to get to know people.  The retreat allowed us to fellowship around a campfire, make fools of ourselves during the lip singing contest, and learn about each other.  One thing we were asked to do in advance of the retreat was to share a unique fact about our marriage.  That was turned into an ice breaker Bingo game, and that was really fun way to get to know each other.  The facts were so interesting as one person toilet papered her husband's home before they were married while another couple lived in Uganda for two years, and still another shared their first kiss in Venice, Italy, and everyone had such neat little stories that came from that game.

We certainly enjoyed our time celebrating marriage while surrounded by the beauty of God's creation.


Clearly, he's not planning to grow up.  This picture does not show off just how high that stump is.

I am not sure I have ever seen the pretty, back side of the lodge.

The lake is gorgeous.  We took a walk around it and made a little beagle friend along the way.  We tried to complete a trail (we both love hiking and wish we had more time for it), but we got a late start and could not complete it.

This was the perfect spot for a couple's devotion.

Enjoying a little down time on the deck.

With some retreats, you completely unplug.  We did not do that this time.  Zach's college team was playing their first football game, so Andy tried streaming the game.  They got stomped.  Realizing that the gap in score may have afforded Zach an opportunity to play, Andy reached out via text to Zach to see how it went.  Zach did not play but was in good spirits.

Savannah reached out to me because she was really stressed over the homework for an intense PSAT prep course that she is currently taking.  The course was recommended by the school because her score was strong enough last year that they felt she might be a contender for National Merit Semi-finalist with this course.  Unfortunately, the expense of the course combined with the intensity is really causing her quite a bit of stress. Junior year is brutal anyway, and we have learned that committing to this will alter our family plans for the next several weeks.  We will change our worship service time as a family in order to allow for Savannah to rest and balance the demands of a school schedule that includes two AP classes, a dual high school/college credit pre-calculus course, Honors Physics, an intense PSAT course, work, and the social life of a sixteen-year-old.  She has a full plate, and one bonus for Savannah is that her ACT score is already strong enough that we will not revisit that test until after Christmas which takes some of that pressure off.  

Savannah's schedule and approach to it is certainly a prayer concern right now.  Our other big prayer concern is that Zach needs a job.  He does not need much money. He could get by on just one five hour shift a week, but even that is very hard to find and fit into his schedule.  He has mandatory service hours for a few of his classes and the football team.  He is required to attend three hours of chapel or Bible study per week along with eight hours of mandatory study time with the football team each week.  If you add in practice and maintaining regular class work, he also has a full plate. Zach was unable to prepare financially for this because a really good chunk of his summer was spent serving on jury duty.  In hindsight, we really should have pushed him to try and be excused from that as we really did not realize what a hardship it would turn out to be. We really could use a miracle in regard to this right now.

While we were gone, Julia participated in a cheer clinic.  Right now we do not have any of our children involved in a sport or club, and during the week, we are enjoying more down time to really work on the house, but the weekends still seem to stay packed.